Suit problem with groomman - advice needed

Hi there, I not sure - if he was happy to pay for it originally and circumstances changed then he should have let you know rather than waiting until you raise the subject. I would however be inclined to maybe pay for half of his - I know its unfair to the others, but he is getting married....

Yeah, I kinda agree with Tango - paying half would be the compromise

I personally would offer to go halves with him if really really want him to be in the wedding party, but ask him not to tell anyone else what you have done.

If its just that you're worried it will look uneven if you don't have the same number of males & females in the wedding party then I don't think anyone else will notice except you - so cut him loose!

Ooh beaten to it!

were having 3 BMs and 2 best men. originally 4 BMs before one got upduffed!

lol tango

and would you expect her to pay half if he was buying a new car? or decorating the lounge? or going for a weekend break to some european holiday? no. Just coz hes getting married means sweet FA in terms of paying for his outfit. Will that mean his fiancee (your bridesmaid) cant afford to buy her frock or were you going to pay for that Blackcat?

Why doesnt the suit he wear to his own wedding double up as his bestman suit?????? They dont have to match....

Thanks for your responses. I wouldn't have minded if he had come to us before this. We were thinking about paying half but 1 of the other 1s has been out of work for awhile & 2 others don't really have much money. I think letting him go, if thats ok with him, maybe the way to go. 1 of my bridesmaids is trying for a baby so maybe it will even itself out naturally.

I see what you're saying - I think if it was a good friend though and they can't afford it for whatever reason (maybe not buying a car etc - but unforeseen circumstances) I would try and compramise. I agree in principle teehee but I wouldn't want to get into arguments about it with a friend.

If his parents are paying for his suit then what exactly is stopping him from buying one for your wedding when he already agreed to in April?, it's not as if you have just sprung this on him and it's not your fault that he proposed either.

Teehee, I agreed with my bridesmaids that I wouldn't find them a dress any more than £80 (which is gonna be tough but I will manage it) & thats after she knew they were getting married. Good idea about using the same suit, maybe its similar. Its just I had this idea about everything matching but I suppose I'll have to be realistic about it.

It's an odd one this - I didn't really feel like I could ask my bridesmaids to get their own/pay for their own dresses, and h2b is paying for the ushers - but if they've agreed, and if he's being awkward about it, the best thing to say might be "I understand your expenses will have gone up a lot for you planning the wedding, but I'm sure you understand that we've got no money spare either, and we haven't budgeted for it - so if you no longer want to be a best man, we totally understand." Good luck x

I've went down the same route as you BK, my BM's are buying their own dresses, we're paying for the best mans though as my OH is only having him and no one else. One of my BMs has just had a baby, so I suspect she'll no longer be able to buy her own dress... she hasn't mentioned it yet, but we're going to look at dresses next week,

I would tell him it was agreed from the start, so if he no longer wants to be a Best man then fair enough.

Good Luck!!

L xx

We're also just having normal suits for our men (5 of them). I can't make them pay for a suit for my wedding so we've asked them to wear a dark suit. Most men have darkish suits in their wardrobes anyway (charcoal grey, black, navy). We've bought them the ties so they all match that way. I don't mind them not being identical, i'm not a fan of this anyway. D will wear a suit and tie of his choice.

His parents may be buying his suit for his wedding but as we all know, weddings are expensive and no doubt a new suit for someone elses wedding is probably not a priority at this time.

The thing is I want grey as a summery colour. H2B is being much fussier than I expected & doesn't like a lot of the grey's we've seen in the hire shops so when we found 1 we agreed on it seemed perfect. I think it'll probably be back to the drawing board to find some 'cheaper' but still nice suits or maybe (even easier & what maybe we should have done in the 1st place) just find out if any of them already owns a grey suit!

I think you may be on a sluippery slope with paying for half of his becuase as you say there is a firend that has been out of work that your thinking of paying for as well.

I think I'd be a little peed off if I was treate differently to other people int he bridal party.

We've puposely gone for a small number of people 1BM and 1 Usher and 2 Birdesmaids as we plan to cover the costs for them. We could ahve had more people but telling some of them they have to pay for their suit hire and some dont felt a bit strange.

Ive made it clear to the birdesmaid that I will be ebaying the dresses after to get some money back ( as they are all bought by me)

I think if you personally want a specific suit or colour then you can't really expect people to buy their own suit. You said your OH didn't like light grey, some of your bridal party might not either and so they're buying a suit they don't like - it's a lot of money. My OH doesn't like light grey suits so I know he would be a little put out.

We have one of our men who we're not sure if he's got a dark suit (I know he's got a light grey suit cos I helped him pick it for our mates wedding last year). If he needs to buy one then we may offer to help pay for it for him.

Couldn't you ask for all the men to be in a darkish suit and then get the grey one you like for your OH? He'll stand out then ?