Surnames - old or new?!

This is a bit of a sticking point for us too! I cannot imagine not having my surname. My OH has said that if i don't change it there is no point getting married as we can't be Mr and Mrs.

Is he being serious?

Am not entirely sure

He doesn't mean it as in "lets call the wedding off", i think he meant is as in we could have just stayed as we are

Surely not serious?!?!?! I know OH would like me to change my name but he'd never insist on it because, in his words, he doesn't want to change to my name so how can he insist I change to his name. If my OH said there's no point in getting married otherwise I'd probably say fine then we won't and refuse to get married (I'm stubborn like that and wouldn't like the ultimatum!!! ?

Edit - posted at the same time as your post above, that explains he's not serious - though there's a lot more point in my opinion than just the Mr&Mrs bit!

Each to thier own. I find it a bit sad that he sees it that way myself- how do you feel?

At first I wanted to keep my own name as I am quite attached to it. Also I have an unusual first name and surname and they go together, I just don't think the OH's name sounds right at all with my name. I think he was originally a bit offended when I mentioned keeping my own name, he's traditional in some ways, but he's since said he's fine with the idea of me keeping my name. I'm not sure now, I think now I've thought on it a bit and gotten used to the idea I'll be happy to change it.

I think he just assumed i would want his name! I am still deciding what to do. I don't want to double barrel as it would sound like a construction company ☹️

We are struggling with this at the moment as OH is very Welsh and his surname is ap (son of) and then his Dad's first name. I am adamant that I don't want his surname as I am not his Dad's son but I have no attachment to my own surname. At the moment we are thinking I will drop the ap but he will keep it and any children will have a different surname to us both anyway. Tis very complicated!

Don't b so ridiculous!

Which bit is "ridiculous?"

Not changing mine, I have had it for 38 years and it has done me fine. Plus I have no desire to have the same name as my MIL. We have two children who both have Mr Foo's surname - I honestly never even think about it and it has never caused problems and I cant imagine a scenario where it would be an issue?. It is just normal for us.

I'm taking his surname simply because mine is a pain in the bum! It's unusual and 95% of people spell it wrong and pronounce it wrong so I'm quite looking forward to changing it really. I love my family to bits but the name doesn't really have any special significance to me. I'll still need to spell his name out for people no doubt but at least it's only 5 letters!

Nope, we're not planning to have children. In a hypothetical world where we did, I still don't think it would change my opinion about wanting to keep my own name. Although i'm not sure what i'd do about theirs. My parents, although together over 30 years have never married & I have my dads surname. I've always had a different name to my mum as a result it's "normal" to me. As far as i'm aware it's never caused any issues. I've said to my OH in the past that any children would need brand new surnames as I don't think i'd be happy with them only having his name (or mine) and ours sound ridiculous doubled up.

This has actually been quite an issue for me. Like so many of you ladies I am one of many girls and although my name is awkward for the kids at school to say I don't want to lose it, it is part of who I am. OH does not at all believe that I should keep my name and I even offended his mum recently by saying 'I don't want to be Mrs ...', without thinking. Her reply was 'why, what is wrong with Mrs ...' Oops! My other issue is I am a design teacher and the name is quite apt for what I do, it just sounds stupid. He won't let me double barrel it either. I might be Mrs ... at home but Miss ... at work. (I haven't told him this yet, I'm thinking I could try to blame the school...sneeky sneeky!)

I didn't have to think about it at all, I was excited to become Mrs S and I love that by introducing myself as Mrs S everyone knows I am married. Not sure why, perhaps because in my mid 20s I never thought I'd settle down so I wanted to tell the whole world I'd found a guy who wanted to marry me!

I do think it's a very personal choice though. I think that a big part of marriage is the binding together of two people and having the same name, whether his, yours or a combination if the two, is a big part of that. But plenty if my friends would disagree.

Honestly don't know what I will do... I always thought I'd take my OH name! I was actually so adamant I would...

Then getting married became a reality and I decided I actually really like my name it suits me and I want to keep it! Why should I have to take his name!

I have a very common Welsh name and I love it... I wouldn't double barrel either because our two name don't go we'll together!

i would ideally like to keep my name and just take the title Mrs... And then our children have his name!

us all having the same name is not a big issue to me... I have my dads name and he and my mum never married! My mum however does regret by giving me her name!

I reckon I'll just stay Miss/Mrs J on paperwork but won't object to people calling me Mrs W....

Am confused? Why are you b-ing ridiculous?

I have changed mine. We have a daughter that carries his name.

Not that anyone has acknowledged it mind you. I have been "JanetJones" (not "Janet - JanetJones) for 40 years. As it rolls off the tongue so easily, people have always called me "JanetJones".

I am now "Janet Gilhespy" but people still call me JanetJones. On my wedding day, everyone was saying "Well, you'll still be JanetJones to me...." and by all counts, I still am as everyone still calls me 'JanetJones'. Even my parents. EVEN MY HUSBAND!!

As an aside though, I will say that changing my surname with the banks, utilities, electoral roll etc, has been nothing short of a pain in the ass.

I would just add that my daughter DOESN'T call me JanetJones. She calls me "Mum".

I'm with a lot of people on here in that I feel quite attached to my name, It is quite unusual...plus if I change my surname to my OH's then it means I'll have the same name as someone famous which is quite embarrassing. He's being uncharacteristically traditional about this and says that I should (although he knows me well enough by now to know that if I choose not to there's not a darn thing he could do about it!).

Also (this is going to sound dead b*tchy), my little brother is getting married next year which means that his fiancee will take the family name. She will be the only 'daughter' with our family name. This doubly rankles me as she is so poised and polite and preened and perfect- unlike us rowdy lot- my parents think the sun shines out of her a*se, so it'll be like them getting the daughter they wanted after all these years!!

I'll be taking O/H's surname.

People struggle with mine even though it's a common(ish) surname. They can't pronounce it correctly or spell it, and even if I spell it out..they still struggle.

To be honest I'd never really thought of not taking his name. I do feel a little sad that I'll no longer have the same name as my parents though.

Double barrelling for our names would be pants. Either Page-Main or Main-Page! Not good!!

I'm struggling with this one.

I'm divorced and have the same surname as my ex, whcih I kept so that I still have the same name as my children. This hasn't bothered me as we were marrried for a long time and I'd grown out of my maiden name.

Now I'm marrying again, it seems wrong to keep my ex-husband's name, but I still want to be identified with my children. OH isn't bothered either way. Youngest says she is bothered but isn't really. Eldest doesn't care. I'm the only one getting in a stew about it. Double barrelling would work but sound very grand, which we aren't!

I'm going to double-barrel, purely for the fact my first name only has 3 letters and one syllable, and his surname is 4 letters and one syllable, and well - they just don't fit together particularly well! If I take his surname alone, my new name just doesn't have a good ring to it.

I took OHs name. Now I have 2 names that no one can spell.

I'm taking H2B's name even though it's long and noone can spell or say it. I also don't think it sits with my first name as well as my maiden name does. To me it's part of the marriage thing - i love the fact that we will be Mr and Mrs W...

I'm taking his name, although it's been a difficult decision to make as my surname is quite unique and his is very common, also my first name is quite common so by changing my name I won't be very unique (in fact I will have the exact same name as OH's Aunty). In the end I decided to change it so that if we have children I would have the same surname as them. I tried to get OH to change his surname to mine but he wasn't having any of that!

Double barreling seems to be quite popular at the moment but I'm not a fan. What if you double barrel and pass the name on to your child who meets and marries someone else with two surnames. Do they have four surnames? Where would it end?

I think I'll take his name when we get married. His mum is remarried so I'm not concerned about having the same name as her. I understand people deciding to keep their own but while I have no issue with my surname I don't feel any particular attachment to it either.

I should have added even though I am double-barelling my surname, if we have any kids then they will just have the one last name - my husband's! I'm only doing it because my first name falls flat with his last name alone

We've agreed to give any kids we might have the double-barrel of mine and his, because that way their surname will be linked to my son. My lad is a lot older but after the crap he's had to put up with on his dad's side and the half-siblings being kept away from him, he's really keen for that link to any new babies and husband and I think that's fair enough.

Most DEFINITELY taking his surname!

I cannot wait for the day when I no longer have to spell out my silly irish surname to people!