table planning help

I didn't have any parents on my top table at all, as by the time i'd got my BMs, best man and 3 kids the table was already pretty long, so they hosted their own tables, worked really well, and also solved the problem that my Mum and Dad don't speak and didn't want to put them in a difficult situation. My Dad didn't make a speech (he didn't want to but my eldest son did welcoming my hubby as his new stepdad) but may not work so well if your Dad is doing a speech though.

Could you not have a quiet word with your Dad, see what he thinks?

hth

My personal opinion is that they've been together a long time and if your Dad is on the top table then she should be too.

Just becuase she's sat on the top table doesn't mean that she's replacing your Mam.

Then again - I don't necessarily think it would be glaringly obvious with "one person down" on one side.

But in my opinion, she should be sat with your Dad.

Im havin a top table tiff with my fella, my parents fine but his are seperated, have parteners but nobody gets on with anyone else so cant even sit his mum and dad together, what to do?

As regards to your dad, have you got a sibling that can sit next to him at the top table or a close friend to balance out the numbers?

Hi sandy,

I feel for you - Jumbly Boy and I spent 4 hours agonising over our table plan at the weekend and we still haven't made anyone but ourselves happy so we're backt o the drawing board! I don't really have any words of wisdom, but I just wanted you to know that it's often the hardest part of planning! Sounds like you want a traditional top table, but still want even numbers - something needs to give because you can't do both, so working out which is more important to you should help. Jumbly Boy's dad isn't staying for the dinner and his sister isn't coming at all, so his end of the toptable is likely to be full of random friends and their partners whereas mine is jam-packed with my folks and siblings. Not really traditional, but we don't have the space to compromise...!

Hmm i am maybe having second thoughts thanks everyone. I thinkn even if i do ask her she wont want to. I know that is a bit underhand but as we are getting married on a cruise boat i don't know how much room we will have anyway. I have a huge numer of bridesmaids, flowergirls and paige boys it hopefully shouldn't be to noticeable.?

Thanks. I feel a bit better i doesn't really matter who is at the top-table so long as it is someone you want to sit beside and have your picture taken with. My h2b's step brother isn't even going to his dads 70th birthday next week!! and his other step brother changed his name back to his birth mname so they actually have the same name!! 2 step brothers with the exact same name weird or what!!

Happy families., im just going to please myself and i don't care if everyone is equally disgruntled at least everyone feels the same

xx

In my opinion, I think the opposite! There are going to be a lot of people who don't know my family at the wedding and I do not want people assuming that my dad's wife is my mum. Yes, she's been with him for about 12 years, but we are no where near close and in fact she has in the past, caused some real problems. She is also the reason why my dad doesn't have as good a relationship with his grandchildren - but that's another story.

I'm getting aroundthis by having a family table. There are going to be 14 of us on it. Me, OH and our children, MIL and FIL, my dad and his wife, OH's sister and brother, plus their other halves and two other children.

Yes, obviously she should sit with your dad, but it doesn't have to be on the top table, you don't have to have a top table if you don't want to.