Teling the Parents

Do you think that they won't be happy that you're engaged?
We just rung our parents and told them after it happened.

Congrats!is there any reason they wont be pleased for you? i knew mine wouldnt as me leaving home and moving in with other half caused a major family fall out, however im a stll close to my grandparents but was worried they wouldnt be please, oh new i was worried and ended up telling them for me, i was pleased so shouldnt have worried after all. my nan then told my dad with my permisiion and he said to me he was slighly gutted i hadnt told him. erm why do you think that was?

anywasy my iv yet to tell my parents that im getting married next year, but i know my mum will probably kick off about that as well.

anyway not really been much help to you have i, but if you have a reason why your not looking forward to telling them then il try to help you. at least you know your not on your own with not wanting to tel them

anyways welcome to hitched xx

Both ours already knew - he'd done the traditional thing with my parents and asked my dad and he'd also told his parents beforehand as well.

Just go round and tell them, I'm sure they will be thrilled for you.

My parents already knew as H had asked Dad's permission. After he proposed, I rang my parents and said I had some news that I thought they already knew. Dad told me to hold on whilst he put it on speakerphone, then I said that we were engaged. H then rang his Dad (his Mum is partially deaf and can't talk on the phone) and told him he'd asked me to marry him. His Dad said, "What did she say?" and H said, "I wouldn't be calling you if she'd said no!" Then FIL told MIL, who squealed so loudly I could hear her, even though neither of us were actually on the call!!

I just got a feeling that when i tell my mum, she might think that it aint goin to work out for me and my other half , and when my mum kicks off you know that she is on the war path. I just want to tell her in the easiet way. I would of loved to told my dad and my nan, but my nan died in january of this year and i dont know my dad.

I was thinking of taking my mum, my brothers and my grandad out to lunch and tell them that way.

Hope you don't mind me asking but are you quite young? I that why you think your mum would 'kick off'?

Have you and your OH had problems in the past?

That might be a nice idea, shes less likely to kick off in a public place. 1 thing i have learnt is that as long as you are sure its the right decision for you then it doesnt matter what they think. you wil never please evrybody in life so dont try to , just please yourself. if she did kick off she may calm down in time but if she cant be happy for you then she isnt worth bothering to much with. obviously i dont know your circumstances but it will all work out in the end. and if not you can join my club and think to hell with it. do you live with your mum?

please dont worry as long as your happy thats what matter.

note to self, take own advice and pluck up corage to tell your own parents your getting married. lol x

No me and my other half havent had problems in the past, we have known each other for 16 years,

No i dont live with my mum, i have got a flat with my fiance. what is your club?

Where you just think to hell with it, im happy and if my mum dont like it then tough. does she have a problem the 2 of you living together? cos getting engaged is kinda the next step so really she should be expecting it at some point.

What do you mean by that?! Think everybody is just trying to understand why it doesn't seem the most natural wonderful thing in the world to tell your parents that you're engaged! Do you think people are judging you?!

To me I couldn't wait to tell everyone so I just phoned them - I was fit to burst!! ? Guess I just don't understand why its not as simple as that - unless you want to make a big occasion of it which is cool too

Her club is the 'to hell with it' club figure of speech.

Congrats to you. Just tell her! I was dreading telling my mum, had to have a beer first (dutch courage) at 9am lolol but as it was xmas day I'm forgiven. She was like 'Oh, thats nice' lololol.

Congrats! I think with telling your mum, if you aproach it like it's something she might get upset about, she's more likely to, if that makes sense. Just start off with "Mum, I've got som fantastic news. I' really happy about it".

For me, after the trauma of coming out to my parents, telling them about the impending civil partnership was a piece of cake!

My advice would be to be straight with it all. I also was dreading telling my future mother-in-law we were getting married and actually sent my H2B around to tell her himself. At the time I thought this was the best thing to do as she could express any concerns she had at that moment as I wasnt there. Luckily she didnt take it too badly and is since coming round more and more once she has realised I want her involved with the wedding plans.

She was however very upset that I didnt go with my H2B to tell her, and looking back it would have been the better thing to do.

Just be upfront and straight- at the end of the day the marriage is going to go ahead anyway.

Laura

My parents knew before me!!

My fiance asked for my dad's permission - something he knew would mean alot to me ?

So they knew before he asked me and as for H2B's side of the family we told them when we saw them.

Hardest bit was telling my sister as she's older than me not married and say's she doesnt want to be but I think that is because her OH doesnt believe in it. (she's been engaged before so is open to marriage but her isnt).

I ahted telling people as I didnt want them thinking I was showing off! so I annonced it on facebook - although in hindsight some people were upset I didnt tell them in person!!

My parents knew before me too!

I'd take them out for a meal, and then just tell them. x x

My parents knew before me too!

I'd take them out for a meal, and then just tell them. x x

Telling the parents was a pretty big thing for us as we were both really young when T proposed, he was 21 and I was only 19! T's mum was absolutely thrilled though, he met her from work and took her out to lunch in the week and told her, she burst into tears (which I think were happy ?) then we sat the rest of his family down and told them all, they were all really happy.

With my family, T wanted to go round for a meal or something and then ask my dad in front of everyone (even though I'd already said yes!) but I really wanted to sort of pre-warn my mum as I was obviously young and wanted to see what she thought about it, even though I was convinced it was what I wanted. I just wanted to speak to her first and sort of explain that we wanted to save up first, buy a place, I wanted to have graduated etc etc before the wedding. So I actually told her on my own, I was really tearful even before I'd said anything and told her I needed to tell her something, she said afterwards she was convinced I was going to tell her I was pregnant!

Then after that, we had a meal at my parents house and in the middle of dinner T told my dad he wanted to marry me, and asked for his approval! It was all fine and my dad said he was touched that we both really wanted his approval as we could have just decided together without his or my mum's input. It's 3 years later now, it's just whizzed by! We're getting married in July. ?

Hey guys i told my parents and you were right she wasnt mad at all.... i think she was more shocked then angry..

Well at least se is helping me pay for my wedding dress nd i have already picked it out and its absolutly gawjus and got the ring too and it gawjus too... just got to save up the money for the rest of the dresses...

Any ideas on how to save the money without the other half spending it?

Congrats on getting engaged katty.

My parents knew before me too - glad it worked out with your mum

Those bells are rather large aren't they.

Hi Katty,

Congrats!!! I'm glad it worked out well for you - have you set a date for the wedding yet?

to answer your money question... It really depends how you work your finances now - some people open an account just for the wedding, with Me and myOH we're just working things out as we go along and have worked out how much needs to be put aside for the wedding each month - you have to trust each other that neither of you will spend it!

Good luck with your planning.