I don't really know where to start with this and I'm certainly ashamed to tell the full story. Let's start by saying that I may have ruined my marriage and threatened my children's financial stability and I can't blame anyone but myself except the fact that I have just been diagnosed with depression and possibly bipolar disorder.
I have just been put on an antidepressant and I have been referred to the local mental health team. I'm in a LOT of debt, both personal and business. I have an appointment tomorrow with the CAB to try to start and sort it all out.
I've been lying to everyone and it's got me in a complete mess. It's compulsive, I can't seem to stop myself.
My husband doesn't trust me one jot any more and doesn't know if he still loves me. We're 'separated' but still living in the same house, trying to keep things normal for the children till he figures out if he's staying or going.
I couldn't blame him if he did leave, he's got his faults but he didn't deserve what I did. But I don't know how I'd ever manage with 2 kids on my own. And right now I feel very alone. Now the lies have gone my protective armour has gone, I feel vulnerable and exposed. I really need a hug but my husband is hardly likely to give me one, my parents are away on holiday, I have no friends and I can't lean on my children because it isn't right.
