Terrified of Flying

Ok, first things first. Fear of flying doesn`t exist. You have a mixture of 4 seperate fears which manifests itself as a fear of flying.

As you have already said you have problems with losing control. I also assume your knowledge into how aircraft work is also a large factor too. Not knowing what is going on with the aircraft, what noise is what can be a big factor in peoples fear. It is an unknown, and therefore makes them more anxious.

The other 2 are claustrophobia and fear of heights.

Normally having any one of these will see you ok, if not a little anxious, but when you start having a bit more of each that is when this overall fear occurs.

For the not being in control thing. Speak to the dispatcher and explain the situation. They should be able to relay a message to the cabin crew. They may allow you to preboard, so that you can chat with them, and hopefully to the flight crew also. Being able to put a face to the voice that you hear during the flight, helps to reduce you anxiety. You have personified them person in charge. Also getting a good rapport with the cabin crew is also a great way of helping you to relax. You are on good terms with the people in authority, and subconsciously your brain will allow you to calm down.

With how aircraft work a good thing is again to speak to the cabin crew. They should be able to explain about what most of the noises you hear will be. Each aircraft is different and make slightly different noises, but are doing the same thing. I`m still getting used to all the noises of the airbus..they ar a lot different to the boeing!! If you like I can putr together a little fact sheet for you if that`ll help so that during each part of the flight you can relate to what noise is what. Sitting near the wing can help you relate most noises to control actions like flap retractions and spoilers. Usually the undercarriage is quite loud but and obvious noise.

Claustrophobia and fear of heights can be dealt with fairly simply. Fear of heights, just look out of the window and repeat to yourself..." I am not falling, I am not falling" You are reporcessing your brain that you are at a height but are not falling, and you should become comfortable with the altitude. Also looking more towards the horizon is better than looking straight down. Closing you eyes is bad, along with taking alcohol. This effect the balance centres, the vestibular apparatus, in your ears. You need your eyes to verify what is being felt by the ears. If there is a mismatch this is when motion sickness occurs. Alcohol can cause this to give erronous results. Think about when people are drunk, they stumble, due to the alcohol changing the pathways in the brain from your vestibular apparatus.

Claustrophobia you need to take a deep breath and look around you and try and look at the space. Most aircraft cabins are bigger than most rooms in homes. It is making sure you repeat to yourself that you have space. Once the seatbelts signs are off in the cruise, try walking about, this will show you that there is a lot of room to move about in and again fool the brain, and help you relax.

I hope this helps, I have had a lot of experience with nervous passengers but just by following my tips a lot of them find the reassurance works. But the biggest piece of advice is speak to the cabin crew, they will help immensely.

I wish I could offer you a bit more helpful advice, but I can totally sympathise with you as I'm terrified of flying also, so much so when I got married I got on the plane, had a full on panic attack then ran off the plane in hysterics and refused to get back on. My poor husband had to go back on the plane to get our hand luggage. And all those poor people I delayed too and the fine the airline would have been given, I feel awfully guilty about it.

I have tried hypnotism and even a fear of flying course but neither did any good.

Anyway, I didn't even attempted flying for 4 years but I have just returned from a holiday in Menorca, halfway through which the Air France tragedy happened and I just had to block it out and not read any papers or watch the news. I went the the doctors before we went and was given some diazapam which I didn't have to use, but they were my backup plan just in case I got too bad and apart from that, the only other thing I did differently apart from that was to physically concentrate on my breathing to stop me from panicking, which I have to say, really does work.

Sorry that I haven't got the solution for you, but I really hope you can conquer your fear.

EGIB - i know exactly how you feel. I used to be perfectly ok with flying and about 6 years ago it all changed and im not actually sure why as thankfully I haven't really had a bad flight. I am terrified of tublulence, even though my dad, bro and grandad (all aviation fanatics) have explained to me that its not dangerous at all. ive watched tv programmes about planes to try and understand them better too which has helped a bit, as well as the podcasts you mentioned.
I was in italy when the Air France thing happened but thankfully I didn't know about it til we arrived back. even though it was a 2 hour flight back I was dreading it.

People always say "its the safest way to travel" which I understand, but it doesn't always help.

glider your post is really helpful, I might try and do what you suggest and try and pre-board next time, and speak to the cabin crew. For me its all about control (im trying to sort this with CBT for other areas of my life), and a bit of claustrophobia/agoraphobia.

Thanks for the replies. I was really worried people were just going to tell me to stop being stupid and to get a grip.

Glider - Thanks so much for taking the time to write what you wrote, I really appreicate it. The control and not really understanding how an aircraft works I think are the 2 main factors. I have a slight fear of heights but don't really relate that to flying for some reason, in that my legs don't get wobbly like they do if I'm high in a building. Claustrophobia I can cope with, yes I prefer to sit in an aisle seat if I'm flying alone because can't bear the thought of being trapped in, but don't feel ok when I'm in that aisle seat.

I hate the noises, the bumps and not really knowing what's going to happen and I am terrified of the turbelence. I have had some horrible turbelence whilst flying over from Bangkok towards Dubai, particularly over the Bay of Bengal and I know to expect it this time as it's the stormy season. When I listened to the "Fear of Flying" podcast about how normal turbalence is and how it could be compared to a boat going through choppy sea, I felt immensely reassured and everytime since I've gone through turbelence I've repeated that mantra to myself. But now knowing that the Air France plane's disaster was more than likely due to flying through a storm, all that reassurance has been proved wrong. Turbelance IS dangerous and knowing I am more than likely to fly through it this time, how am I going to stay calm?

When is the best time to talk to the Cabin Crew, when I'm checking in or when I get on the plane? I've considered this but I always feel they may think I'm silly. It does make sense though that personifying them may subconciously help me to relax. Thanks for the offer of a fact sheet, if you wouldn't mind, that would be really helpful.

Rachel and AnnaBanana, thanks loads for your replies, it's nice to know I'm not alone. I am not going to read anything else about Air France as it makes me worse. I've been reading it hoping that they'll find something that happened that can never happen again, but they're not finding that so it's scaring me more.

Thanks again

EGIB I could have written your last post word for word! however i like to sit in the window seat as I can look out the window and feel a bit more "in control" for some reason! the only consolation is that the AF crash circumstances will most likely be very rare. My fear extends to other's as well ? - mum is flying AF to south america in 5 weeks and im nervous about that too, even htough im not going!!

Hmmm, I'm not sure I entirely agree Glider. I can relate somewhat to the fear of not being in control (the idea that I can't get off the plane certainly exacerbates my fear) but I am not claustrophobic, or scared of heights, or frightened by unexplained noises - I am scared that the plane I am on will CRASH and I will DIE. ?

But I know that's not at all helpful for you EGIB - I had some success with a hypnosis tape and if I had the money I would go for full on hypnosis. Otherwise, valium/diazapam is the only way I can even contemplate flying. I am not flying any time soon (certainly not this year) and just typing this post has got my heart racing!

EGIB I totally relate to the recent air France one because it was the same day and time that we flew to Greece and I was really scared coming back, every tiny little bit of turbulance made me feel ill. I partly diasgree with there being no such thing as fear of flying as I dont think it's just about those things. My biggest fear is it crashing! (and that's not just height related as it can happen on a runway)

EGIB I know it doesnt help a great deal on the day but I just kept repeating to myself that I read in the paper how safe flying is, and if we worried about everything having bad consequences we would never leave the house!

Foo glad I'm not the only one! ?

EGIB The AF447 cause has yet to be realised yet, and the storm in the area is thought to be a rather large red herring, as several other airliners were in the area at the time, and haven`t reported anything other than normal.

A lot of people in the industry want to know what happened, and I can report back when more is found. The majority of people killed attributable to turbulence is due to people not being belted up and being thrown out of their seat and hitting their heads. In the 1980`s a phenomenon called Wind Shear was discovered which caused aircraft to crash, but now multiple sensors at both airports and aircraft exist to stop them flying into it.

Here is a video showing what it takes for an aircraft wing to be broken. This is undertaken on all new aircraft. It must reach a point where it reaches a force of 1.5 times the maximum force expected it is expected to encounter in the real world. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pe9PVaFGl3o

Best time to ask is when you arrive at the gate, and if the dispatcher says speak to the crew, ask when boarding the aircraft. They should be able to help you then.

Something very clever was pointed out to me late last week all related to the language that is involved in travelling and in particular flying. Specific words that are used that mess with the brain.
Specifically

Terminal

Departure

Final Destination

Final Call

If you think about thos words in isolation they can have all sorts of dreadful meanings.

Others have said far more intelligent things about flying etc so I'll leave that to them and you can think about those at your leisure.

I could have written your post too. Although I get most frightened when we are taking off and landing - most times I am nearly in tears. Turbulence frightens the life out of me. I am scared of heights but I don't think that really effects me too much because if it's all calm and smooth in the air I feel ok but the minute there's any turbulence I'm scared we're going to crash. I keep my seatbelt on the whole flight.

Sez

We just got back from holiday yesterday and every time we are away, there is some air disaster. And I mean every time. You would think I would never fly again!

I do sympathise with you as I used to be terrified of flying. I used to take rescue remedy with me and that worked really well. when I say 'worked' I don't think you are meant to pour the whole bottle down though LOL. I forgot to take it once and opted for a few glasses of wine to steady my nerves.

I don't know how I managed it but i don't actually feel I have a fear of flying anymore. I try to make mental plans of what i am going to do when I get there and work out what books I will read in order etc. stupid OCD things like that really do help me personally.

I was also in a near air disaster a few years back on my way back from Glasgow when 2 planes got too close too eachother (how does that happen??!) and was really shaken.

I would try the rescue remedy route - I'm not saying have a whole bottle, but hey it worked for me.

I'm pretty bad with it and last month for the first time ever got on a plane stone cold sober. Never again, it was awful. I know there are lots of remedies and techniques etc but for me the following have helped:

2 valium, 2 double G&Ts (at least, but I can put a fair amount away, obviously don't drink more than you're used to and you're probably not meant to drink on valium) and don't go cattle class as it makes it feel a lot worse. I was asleep before the plane even took off when we went to New York.

I'm sure I've posted this before, but have a look at this website - http://www.lawrenceleyton.com/index.html

he did a programme on channel 4 a couple of years ago, I think there may be a couple of clips on the website and you could maybe see the programme on Ch4 catch up.

I haven't been on a plane in 2 years, and quite happy to delay it even further. The last time was on a flight to London, which was only about 1 hour, and managed it fine. The time before that was to Cyprus and I admit my remedy is to get a bit drunk, not smashed but just enough to make me relax.

It doesn't matter how many times people tell me how safe it is, I still panic. I'm not claustrophobic, have a slight fear of heights but its the not being in control and the plane is just going to drop out of the sky. but before I get on another plane I am order the download from the above website.

hth.

Yep, this gets me every time. That and the 'Danger of Death' signs all along some doors at the side of the gates at Glasgow Airport which I assume lead to the planes.

I havent flown in years I am so scared (I would say about 9 years). I got to Europe by bus, and our honeymoon was a cruise from Southampton. I am sorry I dont have any answers, it is something I hope to tackle in the near future, but I really sympathise with how you feel. x