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Blossy

Tesco's funny

Blossy, 27 June, 2008 at 14:41 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 16

Just got emailed this and it made me chuckle

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

So what's the worst thing everyone else has done in a shop? ... or are we all well behaved here?

16 replies

Latest activity by decibelle, 27 June, 2008 at 20:02
  • WelshTotty
    Beginner December 2014
    WelshTotty ·
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    Waaaahahahaha that made me laugh.

    Im v well behaved in soopermarkets fank yoo.

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  • sherry
    Beginner May 2009
    sherry ·
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    ? I received something similar this morning. It made me laugh too. ?

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  • E
    Beginner April 2007
    Easter ·
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    Blimey, isn't this the one that started off as '10 things to do in Wal-Mart when you're bored' or something eons ago?

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  • Blossy
    Blossy ·
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    possibly! It just tickled me is all. Reminded me of when I lived with my mates and we would do ghost shopping, filling up baskets and trolleys and leaving them in aisles.

    Mind you, if I saw someone doing that these days i'd tut and shake my head at um. Getting respectable in my old age.

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  • P
    Beginner May 2005
    Pint&APie ·
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    G&T and I regularly hide the Gillian McDeath products at the back of shelves.

    We once came close to adding a large marrow and a bottle of lube to the trolley of a rude woman, but chickened out.

    We're such children.

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  • SophieM
    SophieM ·
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    Waaaaahahahahaha! It's very very wrong, but that is amusing.

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  • Old Nick Esq.
    Old Nick Esq. ·
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    Once caught myself on 'dancing' down the aisle in Asda... I think The Clash were playing at the time9which is the only thing that saved me from a hiding. It's a rough Asda).

    I havea friend who (in company with her eldest daughter)moves things in supermarkets.... Condoms beside the WKD was one I believe.

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  • emma numbers
    Beginner June 2008
    emma numbers ·
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    H and I do No.10 at random moments in the day. We make a gun shape with our hands and hide behind corners and then try to run quickly to the next hiding place while humming the MI tune. We have been known to include the odd forward roll too.?

    Yes, I know I'm a loon.

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  • P
    Beginner May 2005
    Pint&APie ·
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    ?

    Whilst on holiday in Crete, we went to the palace of King Minos at Knossos, and reinacted the story of Theseus and the Minotaur.

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  • Sparkley
    Beginner September 2007
    Sparkley ·
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    You HAVE to do that this weekend, you just HAVE to, I dare you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • P
    Beginner May 2005
    Pint&APie ·
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    OK, but only if the are really rude to me. ?

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  • princess layabout
    Beginner October 2007
    princess layabout ·
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    I'd be surprised if he managed the last one, as to my recollection there aren't any changing rooms in Banbury Tesco ?

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  • Shiny
    Rockstar September 2005 Cambridgeshire
    Shiny ·
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    My mate and I used to do a ready steady cook type challenge where we could only cook with ingredients 'stolen' from other people's trolleys!

    So if you have ever got home and are missing a vital ingredient that may be why!

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  • M
    mariets ·
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    An oldie, but funny anyway.

    /fact-check/shopping-spree/

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  • hazel
    VIP July 2007
    hazel ·
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    We used to go fish scaring in supermarkets. Basically you have to creep up to the fish counter and jump out at them. If they're all open-mouthed, they've already been scared and someone got there before you.

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  • decibelle
    Beginner
    decibelle ·
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    We can't visit a castle without doing a scene from Monty Python. ? <>

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