thank you gifts

This is a common issue raised - and I always suggest looking at it from the other point of view. I think it's a bit american really to throw endless gifts at people regardless.

You don't "have" to buy anyone anything. But because so many others do, everyone feels they have to and end up getting stuff just for the sake of it.

Two things as far as I'm concerned.

Firstly, buying gifts is something you do because you want to thank people for their input. If someone has done basically nothing except perhaps turn up on the day, then why spend as much money on them as you do someone who's been there at every turn and been a real rock?

Secondly, don't just buy something for the sake of it - buy something they'll appreciate even if it's a differeng thing for each person, in line with my advice above. It's common to give guys cufflinks, for example, yet the majority of guys don't wear cufflinks most of the time, and speaking from my point of view the only shirt I have that requires cufflinks is the one I've bought to wear at my wedding. You're simply wasting your money really if you buy someone a gift that they'll smile and thank you on the day but never use.

Jewelery for the bridesmaids is a good idea - it's what we've done - as then they get to wear it on the day, it all matches and fits nicely with your overall plans.

You've already paid for everyone's outfits - is that to hire or keep - so in all honesty I don't know whether you need to spend much more on them. If you want to pay for the hair/makeup for the bridesmaids then that's fine but don't do it at the expense of something else if you have a tight budget. Most women that wear makeup on a regular basis will be more than competent in doing simple makeup in your colours on the day, although you may have to buy some things for them.

One thing I would suggest is not to make a big thing of presenting gifts to people during the speeches - it's a bit cringeworthy for everyone else, embarrassing for the people receiving the gifts, and makes things awkward because if you get everyone the same stuff someone will think they deserve more as they did more, and if you get different stuff people will wonder why they have more or less than someone else - it's a lose lose situation. Best to give your BM's their gifts the morning of the wedding when you're getting ready, let your h2b sort out the ushers/best man on the morning, and give your parents their gifts in the few days before the wedding.

Hope that helps

I've bought necklaces for the bridesmaids from Monsoon which they can decide if they want to wear on the day, up to them (we've bought their dresses & paying for hair to be done). Best men have bought 'best man' cufflinks with engraving on the boxes (we've got their nicknames engraved) and got my Dad some 'father of the bride' cufflinks too.

Check out ebay - some good prices!

Assuming, of course, you require your men to wear shirts that need cufflinks - we're letting ours wear their own suits etc.