The big gift question...

We have had the same discuss as you have which i will move onto in a minute.

As a guest, I wouldn't go without a gift but I would get vouchers, that way the couple could get what they want.

We are not mentioning anthing about gifts on ours. Gift lists just aren't our thing and some of our guests are travelling quite a distance to our wedding so we are just happy they will be there to celebrate with us.

Hope that is of some help.

Thanks!

So even if we said - please don't get us anything, you still would??

I kinda think i would but D said he wouldn't let me if they'd specifcally asked us not to... Arrggh! Can't decide!

PS - glad we're not the only non-gifters ?

I don't know - I was wandering the same thing (as you can see from my answer to your previous post about this as well...) We would rather people didn't buy us gifts as from experience of other weddings I've seen some hideous things people got and don't know what to do with because they didn't say what they wanted/preferred, and as a guest - I find Lists useful because it takes away the decision making for what to get - as long as there is a wide range of costs on there of course.

For our wedding we really don't mind if people don't bring anything at all - but knowing most people would still feel obliged we're considering saying something along the lines of gifts not necessary but if people really want to get us something then a contribution towards the new house or vouchers - really not sure how too phrase that yet...

I think if you say nothing people will still ask you or your family and would still feel like they should bring something.

I would still feel like I can't come empty handed to a wedding. But would not expect my guests to feel like that.

What about letting guests make a donation to a charity that it is important to you if they want to give something?

Hmm, well, I probably would as a token celebratory gift but then I love buying gifts for people. Just realised that this is a bit hypocritical of me as I've been saying the same thing to others that have asked me.

Men are alot better at things like that. Our neighbour had a baby a few weeks ago and my OH couldn't understand why I bought them a present

I know gift lists are great for some people but I'm not keen, at all.

Yeah - I agreee! There's nothing that we need so don't want a gift list and just want people to come to our wedding.

I personally hate it when people say "we don't want you to buy us a gift but if you would like to get us something, then X would be nice". To me, it's hypocritical as you are wanting a gift cos you specified people should buy X! Hence why all the discussions have started!

If it said - "No Gifts Please - There is absoloutely nothing that we need. If you want to spend money, spend it on yourself!" (or similar) would you respect that and not buy anything or would you still "just buy a little something"?

Amee I'm the complete opposite - I hate buying gifts - I find it very stressful and keep changing my mind - nothing ever seems right.

As a guest I'd rather it stated what the couple would like as I usually put money in the card thinking it'll be more useful but then I feel guilty that it looks like I've made no effort! At least if the invite said the couple would prefer vouchers or money towards something you know you're doing the right thing.

I think if you really don't want anything you will need to say so on the invitation as if someone just said to me don't worry about getting us anything I still would!

Thanks Wendy!

I'd put it on the invite. We had an engagement party and everyone was asking what we wanted - we hadn't even considered people would want to get us anything and told everybody who asked that we didn't want anything just them! But we still got loads and loads of wine, champagne, flowers and vouchers!!!! We were very grateful obviously and I sent thank you cards- I asked a few good friends why they had even though we had told them not to and they said they couldn't come empty handed!!!