The Bridesmaid dilemma continues..*More flashes* and Rant

Hmm well your preggy friend may lose her bump but not her boobs depending on how near to the wedding. I think she looks good in it. Dresses are easier to take in then let out so bear that in mind. At this point to be honest as long as they are in the same dress I wouldn't care whose was looser and whose tighter. They will be holding flowers in front of them on the pics.

why not say ok this is the dress. Pick your size and whether you lose weight, have them taken in, wear loose or tight, buy spanx etc it's YOUR responsibility to make sure it fits you on the day because I'm not buying any more.

Job done and if they decide they don't like it tough it's your wedding so they need to suck it up and wear the d@mn dress!

Personally I'd feel really uncomfortable if I was asked/made to wear a dress that was a little too tight. I don't want to sound like a *** but if you value them enough to be your BMs and they have told you which size they feel more comfortable in, you should go with it. I don't think anyone will look at them and say oh look why are those 2 wearing tighter ones than the other two...

How about getting a sash made to match for the looser fit? it should streamline the dresses more and will be completely adjustable. it shouldnt cost much - john lewis has a good habidashery dept. and a seamstress likely wouldnt charge much to hem the edges?

Hi thanks for all the replies,

I'm really trying not to be picky here - I promise! Lol

My main concern is they look like completely different dresses when worn loose.

It really doesn't help that I have OCD and the wedding stress does make it bloody worse! I know they are not the same people but I just wish for them to look smart, not like they have just raided their mums wardrobes and put on a size too big dress. Both girls aren't but will be wearing spanx on the day (Their choice not mine) and are both planning on loosing a dress size too before the big day (Again their choice not mine) I am just going by what they have said, so makes me decision even harder.

Obviously I care for the girls, but at the same time none of them have helped me out - I have asked for their help and direction throughout when finding them their dresses but nothing is good enough, or right so I did have a 'Me' moment and bought these.

My biggest concern is that it's the 2 girls that live ageeees away that are choosing the loose fit so if alterations were needed I know for a fact they wouldn't get them done themselves so means me travelling about again. I only have a week before the wedding off between now and when I get married and I was planning on 'trying' to relax then not run around the country sorting them out.

I have asked one of my closer bridesmaids round this evening to try a size up to see how it looks on her. If it doesn't swamp her too much I will just all get them the looser fit and be done with it.

Many thanks again for all your help.

I think if the two who live further away chose to get the loose fit size and then drop a dress size they would have to find someone local to them to do the alterations. Surely the mother or another relative of the 16 year old could help with that. After all it will need fitting to their body so I don't see how it's something you could do for them.

No one else will notice much that they fit differently although with your OCD I can understand that you think they will. Unless you chose four bridesmaids that are the same size and body shape it can't look the same on them all.

They have tried different sizes on so just ask which size they want you to order and done with. Move on to a different bit of the wedding plans. You're on bridesmaid dress 3 now? Time to move on.

I wouldn't worry, as long as they are happy with the size of the dress, I wouldn't stress about it. I'm sure you & others wouldn't notice on the day as long as they are all wearing the same dress. If you hadn't of mentioned the dresses not fitting right and had of just put up four pics of the dress, I'd have said they all look lovely. At least you've got four bridesmaids all happy to wear the same dress, let them pick the size so they're comfy on the day. They're the ones who have to wear them, if it was me and you were saying to wear a size smaller, I probably wouldn't be looking forward to that... Like Jayne said, just focus on another part of your day now, at least the bridesmaids have their dresses

I would let them have it whatever way they like for now. The girls that have opted for having it fitted look amazing btw. For the other two I suspect nearer the time they are going to want it fitted - so they can have it tailored to fit themselves.

The dress is really pretty and I wouldn't worry about it being fitted for some and baggy for the others. Everyone's going to be looking at you anyway - no one will notice.

They really don't look that different between being tight and loose fit. Let them pick their sizes now and if they lose weight between now and then (let's face it, how many of us say we're going to but never manage it) then it's up to them to sort out their own tailoring.

If you've found a dress that everyone's happy with then I would suggest you just let them wear it how they want to wear it. Otherwise you might have 4 girls wearing the same 'fit' dress on the day (which no one but you will notice anyway) but if you have 2 uncomfortable BMs, it's going to show all over their faces all day. Think of the photos...

I would just say though that post-pregnancy I barely recognised my own body (it's not just the belly, but boobs and hips too) and I would have been very uncomfortable and upset if I'd been forced into wearing a tight dress. Likewise at 16, I developed quite early on but it probably wasn't until my late teens/early twenties that I got comfortable with it. I found it very embarrassing while I was at school.

I think you're over worrying. It's the person who's wearing the dress who should choose which size they feel the most comfortable in. They are the same dresses, so if some are more fitted than others it really doesn't matter.
I would agree on the fit now and say it's their repsonsibility to ensure it fits on the day. Therefore if they loose or gain weigh they sort out the alterations. This is not something you need to worry about.

x

I would get the sizes they are comfortable in, and before you buy them, make a point of if you want to lose weight fantastic, but I cannot afford any alterations so that will be your responsibility.

I am a size 8, but I hate anything fitted because well I like food and hate the gym ? whereas my mate who is bigger and as has a stomach on her, loves wearing really fitted outfits, because she has great boobs and bum. So do get what people are comfortable in, otherwise, they will tugging at their dresses all day, or first chance they get wearing a shawl, or a jacket to hide their insecurities. I know and can appreciate wanting everyone in the same style, but, most people really won't notice, and anyone who does, certainly will never say anything. So don't worry about the sizes, they finally all like the dress and want to wear it - just focus on that bit

They look fine.

Personally I would put them in the size they are comfy in. No one will notice or care if the dress is slightly baggy on two and fitted on the others. I have two bridesmaids in one style and two in another. Your not seeing it as a whole wedding just the dresses as that's what you have in front of you but on the day they will look beautiful and the most important thing is for them to be comfy in the sizes as I would hate to have a dress fit too tight on me

Can't you find a seamstress to alter the bigger dresses nearer the time? Your friend may or may not lose the weight and it's important that she feels comfortable in herself. The 16 year old will probably be stroppy whatever.. but it wouldn't be much to have it taken in slightly.