The First Dance..... Do we have to?

Simple answer? Nope.

It might be 'traditional' and part of the 'rite of passage' of getting married - but there's no reason you *have* to have a first dance if you don't want to. It's not a legal requirement!

One thing that makes it less painful, if you get pressured by relatives etc for example, is to have what is called a 'snowball' dance; you both get up and dance together for a short while - even a minute - then split off and grab the chief bridesmaid/best man and dance with them for a little bit, then split again and, say, grab your parents whilst the cbm/bm grab his parents, then that should do you for the first song - then it's "open floor" to everyone.

Is the first dance a must?? Absolutely not! Your wedding day sounds similar to mine. We aren't having a DJ as the venue has a fully integrated sound system so we are able to choose the playlist. We are asking our guests to nominate a song they would like to hear on the night though. I'm not walking down the aisle, we aren't cutting the cake and we most definitely will not be having a first dance. Your wedding day is about what you want and if you don't want to have a first dance, then there is no reason why you should. We hate being the centre of attention so we are skipping all the things that do that to make it more of a pleasurable anxious-free day!

I would say go with what makes you happy and comfortable, it's your day after all and i see no point in having something if it it will cause worry or discomfort on the big day ?

Once I have my shoes, I am going to practise with OH for our first dance. I will feel very awkward doing it otherwise and he really does want a first dance so I'll be doing it for him.

Do whatever makes you both happy. Its "traditional", but that doesn't mean you have to do it!

It also doesn't have to be slow, or even the entire song.

If you really don't want to - don't feel pressured!

If you don't want to for other reasons (embarrassed/can't dance etc), get someone (best man/head bridesmaid?) to invite the rest of your guests to join you on the floor, so you'll have 1 or 2 mins before your friends and family join you.

Do it like this!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqiw-Kqtlr0

?

No you dont have to at all, its your day and you do what you want. H2B and I have never slow danced together let alone in front of other people, we dont have a fave record etc that is 'our song'! we like plenty of music together but not anything commercial so our taste is not the type of music you could slow dance to anyway. Our wedding is small and intimate and our guests know us very well so they would not be expecting it anyway, its just not us so we dont feel we have to include it in our day.