The giving of gifts...

If thats what they needed or wanted, then thats entirely up to them. Its not what I would use the money for, but if they asked for cash and didn't mention what its for, I wouldn't be asking them before I gave it. I would just be giving them the gift that they wanted as a guest to their wedding.

No mention - would give vouchers.

Gift list - happily purchase from as always prefer to buy gifts that peole actually want. For me a wedding gift list is about setting up a new home as husband and wife (and in the days before gift lists this is what the giving of gifts was all about (along with your bottom drawer) but because there was no gift list people would get ten toasters etc)

Money poem - don't like and if it was a friend asking would also say "not my thing"

Honeymoon lists - we had one and we have printed off two of our favourite pictures from activities we had on the list to go in each thank you card. Whilst people were giving us money towards our honeymoon the 'gifts' were about us having a once in a lifetime trip and doing things we would never normnally do - dinner on a beach in a bedouin tent for example. The response since we have got back has definitely been that people were expewcting us to do the trips they have paid for so I am glad we did all of them.

I have never been offended by receiving an invite with a gift list, money poem or money "request" in it, and really don't see why anyone would be.

when you were little you used to be encouraged to write letters to santa at christmas, or your relatives asked for a list of what you wanted for your birthday. it's not being presumptious, its just giving people the option to get you something you would like, use and enjoy.

in this day and age when many people are struggling, surely its good to know their hard earned cash is going on something you will get pleasure from.

i really do not see why people get so arsey about this subject!

If I received an invitation without mention of gifts I would contact the bride or groom to ask what they would like or if they had a gift list. (I think this is the polite way of doing things and would be my preference). If they said they didn't want/need anything I would give vouchers for somewhere like John Lewis. So, I really wouldn't expect to see any request for present/money in an invitation, be it day or evening. It's presumptuous.

I am happy to buy from a gift list but not happy with a request for money. Would much prefer to buy vouchers than give money/honeymoon money.

I think money poems are the height of rudeness but probably wouldn't say this to the bride or groom as this would be equally rude.

Personally i'm glad when i get an invite with a gift list or request for vouchers /money, i would never go to a wedding day or eve without some form of gift if the bride and groom requested things from a gift list i would buy something in my price range, if they requested money i would give the same as i would if it had a cheesy poem, tbh i'm glad i dont have to go shopping i'm busy enough with 4 kids and work so to know what they would prefer would be helpful, we have not included anything in our invites but i have added our website address where on it we have written ' for those who have requested a gift list we have decided that as we have been together for 7 years by the time we get married we would be very grateful for Vouchers/money towards our familymoon but most of all would prefer for you to spend our day with us and celebrate the joining of our two families.

Still a little cheesy but it also saves my nan having to answer the what would they like question to a certain degree.

x

I don't like them - I received one in an evening invitation and I did get a bit peed off (which I was surprised at!). If someone asked me what I thought of money poems and I knew that they had used one, I would simply say "Oh it was really lovely - what a gentle way of approaching an awkward subject!" or some other phatic response; anything else would seem to me to be unnecessary - if someone has already chosen something, usually they are looking for your affirmation, despite dressing this desire up in the guise of asking your opinion!

All of the above, simply my opinions though.

I have never received a wedding invitation with no mention of gift list or wishes for money, but I expect if I did, I would ask the couple what they wanted, and go along with that.

I have no objection to either receiving a gift list (though I tend to buy something "nice" like wine glasses or pretty plates rather than, say, a fishslice) or a request for money, and will usually give/spend roughly the same amount either way.

I think money poems are awful, but it wouldn't stop me from giving them money. I like to think that most of my friends have enough taste not to include one, but if they did, and they asked me, I'd probably tell them what I thought of it. I generally hate all poems in cards though.

I don't think I would be too annoyed to receive a gift list in an evening invitation, but probably wouldn't spend as much.

With 7 months to go, we still haven't discussed what to do about gifts.

The thing I hate about the awkward moment at Christmas/birthdays when asked about what I'd like is: what value gifts do you say? One Christmas I asked for either of two CDs, and received both of them plus something else. I didn't expect that, as I thought the gift limit was £10ish. Does that make sense? There's a few things I'd like but I think are too expensive to ask for. I'd rather choose a gift for a person without guidance.

Gift lists are ok but I was looking down my best friend's list looking at the things in my price range and found them all a bit boring. All probably useful but still. I ended up choosing vouchers. I hate giving vouchers.

Did no one else notice / giggle that AJ has referred to a boob job being an 'ongoing useful item'?! No... just me then.

There was a massive thread about a boob tube on a previous thread.

Nope, but HAHAHA. To be honest though, I think my OH would agree about its usefulness. Not sure I agree with "ongoing" though. Don't you have to have them re-done every 5 years or something??