The things I wish I could say

To my OH's aunt- the reason we did not invite your children and grandchildren to our wedding is that we never see them. I have not seen them ever (despite 10 year relationship with OH), OH can't remember what they look like. Yes, we invited other aunt and uncle's children because we see them, know who they are and like them.

Being a relative does not automatically mean you get invited to a wedding. Why should it?

To my OH- I know you wanted to please your mum who was upset by what we did, but now we have extra guests who we didn't want and haven't got space for. I think you would have been well within your rights to have said to your aunt, "we haven't seen your family in years so we haven't invited them."

Oh that is just SOOOOO ADORABLE!

OK here goes mine:

To my dad: I wish you were here. No girl should have to get married without her dad there. I miss you.

To my mum: It's hideous - take it back to the shop for a refund (plastic grass covered in glitter for my bouquet - YUCK!)

To my OH: I love you, but I still just want to elope. I want to BE married not GET married with all the expense and stress.

To certain friends who aren't coming to the wedding: Tough! I can't invite EVERYONE!(And I probably don't want you there if I haven't invited you)

To myself: Shut up Jude. Quit whingeing and get on with it. Nobody cares what size your dress is. Or that you saved £20 - it's only money and you deserve a fantatic day. You WILL look gorgeous, everyone will tell you what a great day it was, and you'll end up married at the end of the day, so just enjoy.

Oh!!! I like this!!

To my OH: 'Please take this wedding a bit more seriously - you dont have to make a wise crack about everything ie 'Wont she be a beautiful bride' & he goes 'I hope so...'. I know you are nervous but so am I.

To my Mum: 'You have been amazing, so supportive & helpful. But I am not changing my psalm. And yes my gym buddy who you have never met is coming to the wedding, yes she is bringing a plus one who I dont know but I dont care because its down to her Im gonna look good in my dress. End of'

To my Dad: 'I am dreading being in the house alone with you before the church because I will bawl like a baby. Im dreading you 'leaving' me at the alter. I may be getting married but we'll always have our special bond & our relationship wont change.

To my MOH: you have had your day, this is mine. Stop being such a jealous whingey bitchy cow. Stop comparing the little things you do know about my wedding to your wedding. It was 4 years ago, get over it.

To my BM: You have been amazing & are the best friend a girl could have.

To my FIL2B: Do not get drunk & make a knob out of yourself & us. Do not act the big man on our day when you have done f*** all to help & have never been a real dad to OH. And do not be smart & insinuate that your girlfriend will be at our evening do - I will be telling her different.

To my MIL2B: He may be your son but he is going to be my husband & it is me who lives with him - I need a man! I dont care that you dont like me - I just wish you could stop being so pathetic & thran & leave me the hell alone. And when you find out about OH dads gfriend do not take it out on OH - think like a rational being & understand he is in the middle.

Nice to get things of your chest some times!

To my CB - Make more of an efforf! I know you live in Ireland but when you got Married last year I flew over 6 times leading up to your wedding. Yes I understand you have kids and I don't, which does excuse all the flights over! BUT still be a bit more interested on the phone, I feel like my life revolved around your wedding last year I was so excited in your thank you card you wrote " I couldn't of done this with out you and I hope I am as much help to you" you really haven't been! I flew over for your wedding 8 days before to help with preparations, you are flying over the night before mine at 11.00pm! so will miss out spa day and meal with the rest of the bridesmaids! I organised your hen for you (from London even though most people where in Ireland) I feel lucky you are even coming on mine.....

To My other BM - Thank you so much for everything for organising my hen dinner and hen weekend! Thank you for all the little gifts and thoughtful things you have done for me like buying the tiara I seen and loved! booking me in to have my nails done the night before the wedding, putting up with my Bridezilla antics moaning you wern't getting back to people quick enough with hen questions etc! What a witch I can be!

To my Brother - Thank you for going on the stag! I know you are rubbish with money and commitment to anything and had to get a new passport etc! but thanks for going and making the effort to speed up your passport process, I know he was gutted when you said you wasn't sure if you were going to get your passport in time and money was an issue but I am glad you went and are part of long lasting memories for him!

To My Mum & Dad - you told me you wanted to pay for my dress (this was 2 years ago) now 9 weeks before the wedding you say you don't know if you will have the money! I haven't incorporated the dress in to my budget so will have to get a loan to pay for it if you can't afford it! Please let me know asap I don't mind if you don't get it but you should of told me a loooong time ago!

To My Mum - Please don't get drunk and steel my thunder! on the hen dinner or the wedding - I know you like to make a show of your self but it embarrasses me and WILL ruin my day if I have to have one eye on you! I am not saying don't have a good time but please control your swearing and loudness! These are days I will never be able to get back!

To the BestMan - I Can't believe you never went on the stag!

Love you all ! xxx

This may get a bit, erm, ranty!!

To anyone making snipping comments: My dad is coming to our wedding, and he is bringing his wife. I don't care what anyone says about whether this is right or wrong, and you can refuse to come, but they will be there! He did one bad thing, and he's paid for it, 10 years ago! Move on.

To my Nan/Grandad - I know your both so unwell, but please do whatever it takes to get to our wedding, I know you hate the idea of a wheelchair, but if it gets you there, who cares? I can honestly say, if we'd have known you'd not be coming, we'd have gone abroad

To my brother - it's 8 weeks on Friday till our wedding, get your ass to your suit fitting and stop telling me it's "too early" and your "going to lose weight so there is no point". Your a 34" waist, hardly huge! Get over it!! ?

ETA (after reading SaSaSi's post):

To those "who it may concern" - Me and OH organised this wedding, and worked our asses off to organise it. No credit belongs to anyone other than us. (Except maybe my parents and grandparents who gave us money - but they know this already)

To H2B - Sometimes when I run an idea past you please have an opinion or even anything other than ''its upto you babe''.

To my mum - I love you but please stop finding an issue with everything and remember it is our day, and not all about you.

To MIL2B - Stop making such an issue of being in the same room as FIL2B he has as much right to be on the top table as you do !!

MOH - Try not to be too bossy and keep forcing your 'opinion' on us on how we should do it, and please stop talking to us like we are kids, and have no idea on what we are doing last time I checked I was the other side of 30.

To Grandad - We all miss you OH more so he wishes you could be here with us but knows you will be watching, kisses x x

To Nan - We know how hard its going to be on the day without Grandad there, be strong we love you.

Katrina x x

What a fab post:

To my OH - You asked if you could do anything to help I said yes and asked you to find a few possible readings and even gave you 3 books I have full of readings. Instead you decided to look at cars and go on ebay so now when I dont ask you to do anything please dont act like Im being unreasonable!! However i do still love you!!!

To my FIL2B - Please dont make this wedding about you like oyu did at my OH's brothers wedding. We all know you lost your wife we all felt the hurt too but the wedding is not the time to tell everybody it was 4 years ago everybody knows and I dont want my guests upset. Please also do not go around telling everyone about your new GF and how she is nothing like the physco bith you dated previously for over a year, kicked your 18 year old daughter out of home for, f*cked off to Devon for and completely cut us all out your life. We may forgive but we will never forget.

To my mum - Thankyou for being so lovely on my hen night you arent a lovey dovey mother but I know you love me and when you told me privatley on my hen night that I looked beautiful I nearly cried so god knows what you will say on my wedding day. Thankyou for everything you have done for us.

To my dad - I may be marrying my OH who I know you adore but I will ALWAYS be your little girl no matter what.

To my exMOH - I still cant belive you did what you did and cancelled my hen night. I cant believe our 11 year friendship is gone. To be quite honest though I obvioulsy wasnt that important was I and I can now say this without being upset!

To my MIL2B - The only hing to make my wedding complete would be to have you with us but unfortunately you were taken from us. There isnt a day goes by when im planning this wedding without much help from your son and I wish you were here to help me. I know my OH misses you more than he will ever say and it will be a difficult day but so long as you are looking own on us all thats all I ask.

H2B - Do you really need to keep buying clothes when you already have over double what I have? I know it's your money, but you've already committed to this wedding yet you're not committed to save for it. Don't offer with one hand, then take it away with the other. I'm struggling to find a job and you're making me feel so guilty without realising.

MIL2B - We're not sorry that we're not getting married in Scotland. It's not a personal insult to you, please don't try and make it out to be. Scotland is lovely, but Blackpool is a place we love too and as we have friends/family from all corners of the UK it's a compromise met for everyone.

Ex-Bridesmaid - I know I said I couldn't afford two bridesmaids, which is 100% true, but I'm also concerned about your current situation and I'm worried that you'll simply be unable to afford to attend. You're one of my best friends and I really want you there, but I need stability and not wasting money we don't have if you're unable to be there.

To Nan: I know you're too frail to travel and I'm really gutted about that, but please please do not fake illness just to so the temporary carers call Mum & Dad and ruin the day / evening for them.

To OH's Dad: You're a pathetic nob. If by some random bit of information you do turn up at our wedding, despite the false trails we have planted then you will be forcefully removed from the premises and dumped in the nearest waterfall. It might sober you up.

To OH's Mum: I know you know you aren't coming, but please don't dangle that bloody carrot in front of OH and then snatch it away again. You're his mum, try (a) acting like it and (b) to be interested for once. I have bent over backward to keep you informed so you couldn't strop off with "they've excluded me" excuse. Respect works both ways. Do not expect to receive a similar gift to the one I'm getting my mum. My mum has been a mum, always there for me - you haven't been there for OH. If it was down to me, I wouldn't get you anything at all.

To CBM: I know you're only trying to help, but we really do like the bouquet and centrepieces we've choicen. They may not be your choise but we like them.

To my Mum & Dad - thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support, love and help down the years. All I've ever wanted is to make you proud, I hope I've acheived that somewhere along the line.

To my BMs: Thank you for arranging my Hen Night. I know I said I didn't want one, and probably would have prefered not to, but thanks for making the effort.

Phew, that's better. Crumbs, I sound a right lemon-lipped cow after reading that back.

To H2B: I love you and I never tell you enough. But stop being a groomzilla and let me decide on a few things!

To bridemaids: I hope you know that the Hen do is your job to arrange. Stop asking me what I am thinking of doing for it, as if I need to arrange it, it will not happen!

To Mum: Sorry that I have not involved you in any of the wedding planning, and all I seem to do is moan about it.

To Dad: I really hope you will be able to arrange your work schedule so that you will be there. It cannot happen without you. And stop telling me that 4 miles is too far to go to a reception from the church

To Nan & Grandpa: I really miss you. I will keep you in my hearts the whole day and hope you will be watching over us, and are happy.

To OHs deceased step-grandads 2nd wife's daughter: no you are not invited to our wedding because we don't know you. So please don't slag us off to relatives we know and like to try and make us feel guilty - it doesn't.

To my uncle: I know it's alot to ask but I really hope you can make it over from America for the wedding.

To FIL2B: Thank you for being a better father to OH than his birth father ever was. We will be proud to have you on the top table. Please don't get drunk and lose all memory of the evening like you did at your other son's wedding.

Great thread!

To my dad: I am so sad you are not here with us to walk me down the aisle. I know whatever I decide about this day, or any of my life, you would be there behind me giving 100% like you always were when I was growing up. I imagine you there as you used to be, and not what you became at the end, and I can imagine your smile when you saw my dress. Thank you for all the wonderful years you raised me.

To my mum: Thank you a million times over for all your support during planning - and buying my dress! I can never ever thank you enough for listening to me whine through the break ups and make ups with OH and ex-best bud and for all your wise talks. But please do not think of wearing anything lime green to my wedding!

To OH dad: Possibly try to care that your only son is getting married. Just a thought. You are going to be involved as OH wants you to be, and not just thinking throw money at him is all it takes, we don't want that, he wnats you to listen and give a damn. So suck it up and do your best for your son.

To OH mum: Turn up. Sober. Please.

To my granny and OH granny: You are both amazing and strong women and please keep on fighting the various illnesses that bring you both down so much, it will make us both so happy to see you there in the crowd watching me and OH get married.

Apsolutely 100% WSS.

To OH: I love you more than anything, thank you for asking me to marry you. I'm so happy that you want to be fully involved in our wedding, but please accept that if you want something to be part of the wedding you can have it, even if i'm not crazy about it. I'm sure there are going to be things that I want that you maybe aren't overly keen on but I know you wouldn't deny me.

To Mum: I really wish you could be happier that I am so happy. I have finally met the man that I was meant to be with, that makes me happier than I have ever been in my life, that is a wonderrful stepdad to my kids, please realise that and be thankful that you don't need to worry about us anymore, life is good. When I told you I was engaged I really didnt need to hear your distant uninterested response, like I had just told you what I bought for tea! Comments like "why are you bothering to get married, its not like you haven't both done it before" are hurtful, as is your refusal to come bridesmaid dress shopping.

Please don't come to our wedding and be critical the whole time. You are going to travel a long way and spend a lot of money to do so, I want you to enjoy it and be happy for us.

To My Sister: ditto, as above. I don't understand why before we got engaged when you and I were talking about it hypothetically you were all for planning my wedding, yet since we got engaged you seem to have completely lost interest. I don't get it, especially as you are one of my bridesmaids, please be more positive and less critical of our choice of venue.

To my children: Thank you both for making OH so welcome into our family, and being so happy for us. I will be so proud to walk down the aisle on my sons arm, with my daughter as my bridesmaid

To MIL: Thank you for welcoming me into your family, for being so happy for us, for never criticising anything we have planned but being there with advice when we ask for it.

To my best friend/MOH: thank you for your never ending support over the last 18 years, and for being so happy for us and so supportive of our wedding. I love that you are putting so much effort into finding the perfect dresses and always thinking of what I want. I can't wait for you to organise my hen night, i know it is going to be an absolute blast!

To my dad and FIL2B: SO wish that you could bothbe with us on our wedding day. I know you will all be watching over us, and hope you are happy and proud.

To my baby girl: Thank you for bringing us together, so wish you were here to be my flower girl. There will be a special tribute to you on our wedding day x

wow, feel sooo much better now!

Anyone else baffled as to why some of these things can't be said?

I love this!!

To My OH :- I know ive been a complete *** the last 6 weeks but this promotion means a lot to us and if that means bring work home and dealing with *** for 12 months then so be it. wedding wise I couldn't ask for any more, and I love you more each day.

To My Mum :- I can't wait for you to walk me down the aisle and give me away, Who needs a dad when I have a mum like you, and I know that you struggle sometimes but getting me my dress is more than I ever expected, one ask that you and aunt c both make my day special.

To my Aunt :- your my only one and my mum's twin I know you have differences that have just escalated and escalated but im just asking for one day from both of you that I love so much to put your differences aside I know you both want to!!

To my gran & grandad :- now this is hard but how I feel there is only 2 grandchildren and with 21 years between us the chances are you are only going to see one of us get married (i dont mean this in a horrible way). Gran I loved you coming dress shopping with me and grandad I can't wait to see you in your suit, I just expected you to be more involved I think.

To CBM :- I love you to bits and when my planning stops yours starts eeek excited.

To BM :- A bit more effort would be nice I can't come dress shopping at 10am on a sunday as im out for a friends birthday!! 10am sunday really!!!

To the in laws :- thank you for making me part of the family and treating me as your own I couldn't ask for nicer in laws. FIL2B yes you are wearing your cravat until the end of the meal you should be thankfull its not pink!! MIL2B please do not try to upstage my mum she's the mother of the bride and the most important!! also yes you may be contributing to the wedding but that does not mean we are inviting people we don't know!!

I suspect they cant be said because in my case, and probably many others, it would cause arguements and a lot of upset, which personally I don't want because it would ruin the run up to my wedding and the day itself the rift would take a long time to heal.

To all the people that will be watching us from their cloud above, Dad, I wish you had been alive for 10 more days so you could know we got engaged. To my Grandad, thank you for visiting Frankie and telling her what you did. always know if you had been here it would have been you.

To the family and friends that are travelling from all over the world we thank you!

To my mum who has been nothing but supporting,

To OH mum for helping with flowers

to MOH wow what a job on the hen do (even if i dont know all the details about it!)

to everyone, as not one person has tried to tell us what to do! You have no idea what it means to be left to it

to everyone who told us 5 months was not possible I stick my tongue out!

and to OH- my god are you a pain in the bum sometimes, but looking forward to being your wife more than anything!

Some of them are nice things though...

Ooooo forgot one

to the cats :- if you attempt to climb through the ventian blinds at 2am in the morning again you will be going back to the cats home.

xx

The Walrus Koo Koo Ka Choo

I will say the nice things, either verbally in my wedding speech or in thank you cards. the other stuff will probably go completely unsaid for reasons stated before.

Hardly!

[View:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42luHhrsNhg:400:400]

Sometimes, despite the fact you know you are 100% in the right, the other person is being an idiot, and the satisfaction of proving them wrong would be immense, they will never learn and it's just not worth creating the grief.

It takes a better and stronger person to walk away from an argument than to keep it going.

I was talking about the nice things people had said AJ...

There are lots of things I would say, but i shan't ?

No, but I think it means that you don't know when to walk away... usually I don't either.

Not necessarily, but I'm sure many a time you've bashed your head on the table screaming "why can't they see how wrong they are". It isn't admitting defeat, it's just admitting you are wasting your time.

Here's mine:

To Mr DWC: you rock

Mum: it is not a competition between you and MIL about who gets to host it. I know you only want to host it and have your day too, but its about me and Mr DWC and we would love to accept the generous money gift that MIL and FIL would like to give us and put it towards the reception but we know it will piss you off. Also, I know the PIL wind me up something chronic but they love us both and just have our best interests at heart. Stop whining about them, even if I do.

Middle sister: Yes, yes you're cooler, skinnier, prettier, funnier, more intelligent. Stop going on about it. And no i'm not letting you choose my dress.

Grandma: I know you struggle to understand the differences in etiquette in 2011 compared to ettiquette in 1949 but it IS different and no I won't be doing what you think is right, in any sense of the word. Sorry.

Reading this thread has made me realise how lucky I am to have such wonderful supportive family and friends. We've had our issues with OH's brother and sister, but they're out the picture and everybody else has been wonderful.

I agree that some of these lovely things could be said to people though....

I will be telling my Dad that I will always be his little girl and without his generousity and love, none of this would have been possible.

I Love this... and its comforting to know that i am not the only one with stressfull families/friends

H2B - Thank you! I love you more than words can describe you have turned my life around, i feel loved and i cant wait to marry you! I am sorry that i am getting so stressed about things and you seem to be at the end of it. But i know it will be worth while and did i mention that i love you!

Mum - I hate that you are ill, but this is mine and H2B day so if you get drunk and cause a seen i will never forgive you. I wish you could stop lying all the time and be honest that you have a drink problem. I feel jealous that others have mums that are there for them and that you have never acted like a parent. But i want you there so please be soba for just one day!

Dad - i am so glad we have built a better relationship - i do hate my step-mum as she has made my life hell, but you married her so will always be nice to her - but why does she have to wear ivory on my wedding day!? Thank you for the money you have given towards the wedding, i know i sound like a spoilt brat but you dont have to give my step sister and step brother the same, they have their own dad (who is very rich) and i am your only daughter.

MIL2B - You have not contributed to the wedding in terms of help/money so stop telling me who i need to invite, i have never met the family from germany and so what if they invited you to their wedding! yes your son might want to keep you all sweet and happy but i am marrying him! Also why have you spent so much on your outfit/hat/doing the gardens of both houses you have when you havent helped us at all! how about paying the extra £700 for all the people you said had to come.

MOH - i love you so much, you have been amazing and couldnt have done this without you, i know you havent done much with regards to the wedding but the fact i know i can always ring you and moan! you are such an amazing friend and wish you didnt live so far away! However stop being so tight.. I know you run out of money at the end of the month (maybe dont go out in central london every night of the week) but i am saving for a wedding so that drink u bought me 2 weeks ago dont ask me to transfer the money for it into your account!!!

BM 1 you have been awesome, i love the fact you are too getting married this year and i have some one to share all this with, and can talk about weddings without feeling guilty. I am so happy for you, and promise to help all i can for your wedding!

BM2 you are awesome, i know we have not known each other long but love you loads, however you can go places without your new bf stuck to your hip and all the soppy love status on fb are annoying everybody!! we know you are in love!

BM3 i know that things between us have been well... weird! but i hope the feelings you had for me are left behind and you can be happy for me, you are my oldest friend and would hate for something like that come between us. Also i am sorry you cant sit at the top table, but i cant have everyone on it, plus your girlfriend doesnt know anyone, so sit with her!!!

Best man - Love you to bits thanks for everything, just please take care of OH on stag do, you know he cant drink much!!! and dont shave his hair/eyebrows off!!!

Also thought of something for OH - i know your dad is not here and you feel responsible for your bro and mum but can you please stop buying them things, i know its your money but we are partners and i am going without so much to pay for the wedding! They both have good jobs and do just fine!!

so sorry if that seemed like a rant, but it has done me the world of good so thank you xxx

To my OH i love you and still can't believe i'm marrying you in just over 3 months, but please remember it's our wedding day, not your mums. I sometimes feel like i'm fighting a loosing battle.

To my Mum, i love you so much, you have been a rock through this. I know i can moan alot about OHs mum but it only shows me how great you are.

To my dad, i'm so sorry your dad couldn't be around to see me get married, i know he will be looking down on us on the day so proud!

To my MIL2B, stop being the MIL from hell! No we are not inviting "the only family you've got" because i have never met this family in the 8 years i've been with your son, he also has seen them once! If they were that important then why have they never been in contact. Also no we don't have to have 6 different welcome drinks, people can cope with orange juice, champagne or bucks fizz, i don't think they need coke or J20! Unless you want to pay for it all of course!!

To my grandad, i hate the fact that cancer took you away from us 9 months before our wedding, but i still remember your reaction when i showed you a picture of me in my wedding dress. You will be remembered on the day and your picture will be around my bouquet close to my heart.

To my sister, bridesmaid, i love you so much and wish you'd told me earlier all the stress and heartache you're going through with trying to have another baby, you've been a star throughout all my wedding planning and i want to be there for you now.

To my cat! If you dare bring another bird into our kitchen, try to kill it, let it flap around for a bit and then finally half kill it so it hides under the dishwasher dying to then rot and produce flies, i am going to feed you to my mums dog!

To all on hitched (this is something i would say), thanks for being so helpful with my wedding planning, i love the community on here and i hope every one of us has a great wedding!!