The Wedding Guest Guide

Please do not bother me with how you will be getting to the Church / Reception / Home - We have taken the time to give you an invitation and lay on a most wonderful day for you - How you get here / there is a detail I do not wish to be worring about on the Morning of my WEDDING!!!

Dont turn up in a cream/white dress. There are already two persons dressed in this way ?

Dont winge about the time we have set aside for photographs - tough!

If you dont let us know you have dietary requirements you are likely to end up with meat or something you are allergic too.

Make an effort, get dressed up and enjoy yourself, do not whinge about anything!!!!!

Do not request we change the time fo the ceremony as your are travelling from far away lands........make plans to come down the day before!!

Don't complain that there isn't enough free alcohol provided - you aren't entitled to any in the first place so be grateful if anything is supplied.

The reason we only gave you "regular or vegetarian" menu options is that's what the hotel provide - don't ask for something different because you won't be getting it.

Timings given are not optional or changeable. You will be at the church/venue in good time and seated well in advance of when things start. We won't wait for you.

Children are like mobile phones. Both should be switched to "Silent" before the ceremony begins

Leave your kids at home, it's a wedding not a creche

If you can't come, you don't have to give a reason but it is polite to do so

can't believe anyone would do this!

My boy has responded to all followup questions about RSVPs with "No RSVP, no food. Your choice".

oh yes, weve had one couple who i knew from uni who live 3hrs away say this when we told them wed booked it for 2pm!! i mean, 2pm, cmon, its practically the evening !!

??

When I have gone to the effort of providing you with a deal 3 months ago which gives you a half price hotel deal, don't complain to me 3 months later when the price has increased as you couldn't be bothered to read / act on the email!!

Its our wedding, we shall choose food we like

Love it - was thinking of doing something similar myself - mine and OH's families both love a good feed, and they know we're definitely foodies so I don't think anyone would risk us actually enforcing this!!! I saw on one episode of DTTB that when it was time for the food, the MC asked all 'non-official' guests ie those that just rocked up on the day, to go wait outside while everyone else got fed. Thought this was inspired!!! ?

We've got to have security staff working at our do so I might make them get rid of any extras LOL

If you are newly married yourself, please feel free to NOT give me advice on how you did things to 'help' me - by the time you've had your invite I have made my choices - shut your cakehole, you've had your turn!

Here is an insite to Kate and WIll's Guest gude for insteration!! :-)

http://uk.royalwedding.yahoo.com/blogs/royal-wedding-guests-given-etiquette-guide-3951

But lots of people wear white, cream or beige to weddings. But they usually team it with another colour or with black. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Obviously if they were wearing a full length white/cream dress that could pass for a wedding dress, that would be another story!

• Actually send me back the RSVP.. I addressed the envelope and put a stamp on it for you.. all you need to do is tick the relevant boxes and send it back!
• Stop demanding so much from me! I am just one person! You want to check-in early? Then you speak to the hotel about it and come back to me if, and only IF, you experience any more problems with the venue.
• Don't *** about me and my wedding, it's very poor etiquette for a guest to do so. I'm giving you a free meal and free drinks. Stop being ungrateful or just p*** off.

Brilliant!!!

Don't give me rubbish excuses about why you can't come - you have have known the date for 10 months!

Tell me in person you can't come rather than just hiding behind an email - we work together for goodness sake.

Because you are a good friend you can invite your new lady friend to the evening do. She wasn't invited originally as I didn't know she existed. And yes I do have a right to know her name!

No, we haven't put info about hotels in - you are a grown woman and can manage to find one nearby. You work in PR - you can cope!

Yes you did know about the date months ago before you booked that holiday - you should have put it in your diary.

We asked for allergies or dietry requirements - not your likes and dislikes.

No I am not providing transport to and from the church and reception - if you want to drink get a taxi.

How will I know if the carpark is full or not?! I cannot see into the future. There are three close to the church, get there early enough and it should be fine!

? long day!

Love it!!!!

If you buy me a KitchenAid Mixer (red), I will love you forever. Ta.

Im not bothered if you like it and its traditional and old people will expect it, im not having a fricking fruit wedding cake (yes mum im talking to you!).

We were watching Jamie Oliver yesterday and I was sitting there wondering if the gift list could comprise solely of this? It's not asking a lot is it? One item? Not sure if OH would let me though!

No your brat can not be bridesmaid/pageboy..

No you can not help yourself to the flower display

no you can not pick the hotel props.. because it funny!!

don't complain that there's not enough free white wine and too much red!

No you cannot "semi RSVP" and let me know "nearer the time". Make a decision!

When we put "please let us know if you have any special dietary requirements" on the menus it was so we could make the hotel aware of any allergies you may have - not for you to demand champange and caviar.

No we will not ring around any of the local B&Bs for you - we gave you a list with 8 B&Bs listed along with the Tourist Information number and you can turn to google at any time.

I know I don't drink, but that doesn't mean I will drive you back to your B&B during the reception because you're pissed and too tight to get a taxi.

Please don't assume that I know you're coming - RSVP like the invite asked you to!