The worst excuse for not coming to your wedding....?

Aww, I do think that's a bit mean of your grandad to prefer to go on his holiday rather than come to your wedding.

However, we've not got round to doing invites yet so i've not had any excuses (yet!!).

Ouch, he sounds a bit like my Grandad, cantankerous old men they are! His is just 'I don't like Weddings'

Another holiday related one. One of my closest friends (ive known since i was 3) has booked a holiday, knowing full well when our wedding was and is going away with her partner 2 days before and wont be there. Peeved was not the word but what can you do. Thats even before we have sent the invites out ?

My best mate got married in may this year and the worst excue she got for someone NOT coming was that shed be 6mths pregnant! now im not a genius, nor have i ever been pregnant but surely thats not an excuse?!

2 of my guests are going to be over 8 months preggers!!!

and their coming right?! no excuse, unless theres compliactions(and there wasnt, she was just a lazy moo bum face)

he he, that may replace twunt as my new favorite insult!

yes they are both planning on comming still!

Oh dear. Those are pathetic excuses I'm afraid.

A friend of mine ducked out of a wedding reception based on her car being temperamental and she wanted to get home before it got dark.

I did know of someone who claimed she couldn't afford a new dress so was going to decline. The bride 'had a few words' (probably quite a few rude ones!) and said guest suddenly decided she could find something to wear, even if it wasn't brand new.

We had 'the traffic was bad' - woo big deal, we hit traffic on the way to two seperate weddings and it took over 3 hours on both times (with now MIL in the back gah!!)

Working - Satruday job and was only coming to the evening anyway

Decorating the kids bedrooms

O and some didn't even give an excuse - sent word via other family members.

However in fairness; we've had to pull out of weddings a couple of times over the years with what would have sounded like iffy excuses (ill health, family problems etc), some of wish I regret others not. I guess you have to look at if from both sides.

My former boss joked with me yesterday that he is worried the date clashes with the British Grand Prix!!

Why do you think people make excuses not to come - most people would love to share a wedding day, so do you think it's cost that puts people off?

There is transport/gifts/outfits/overnight accommodation etc to pay for when you're a guest, all of which add up. What do you think?

I think its either a) cost or b) your priorities.

I think our worst excuse was from the boyfriend of a guest (who we didn't know wasn't turning up until we spotting him missing after the ceremony)....apparently he had decided to go and play football with his mates instead..............charming!

Actually i think the worst excuse is no excuse at all....one of hubbie's supposed best friends, who he's know since school was invited, told us he was coming, then never turned up and we haven't heard from him since..(wedding was 8 weeks ago)

Leicester FC are playing at home!

Its fair enough, at least its not an away game so he will be in the city and will come along later!

Well with my grandad money is not the issue as he offered to give me the money it would cost to come from the south of france + a bit more - because he could not attend - I am seeing it as guilt money - would rather he was there than the money!

Yup no excuse is pretty lame.....! - atleast you know who to axe off the christmas list!

Jackie - going to play football - surely that is akin to the dog ate my homework!!! - that is really lame

Doodle - decorating the kids bedroom - surely there are another 50 weekends in the year to do that!

So far we've had:

1 x "Sorry, we are on Holiday in Portugal that week"

1 x "Sorry, I am in my 90's and cannot travel that far"

3 x "Sorry unable to come" box ticked but no explanation given.

I know! The guest he was the boyfriend of was really apologetic but even so!

AJ - wow your guests are organised if they have booked their holidays that far in advance! The age thing i understand, if they no longer travel - H2bs grandad can't travel due to poor health and that is completely understandable.

Have you tried asking the people who have given no reason to find out why?

We've had one decline so far with no explanation, but we will likely have many more that just dont turn up so I am glad we at least know.

I am going to make a confession here and say that there are a few weddings I have not been to in the past. I dont really enjoy them so if I know im going to be bored/miserable all day then I obviously wont go for the sake of everyone. It depends who it is too.

Your wedding is the most important thing to you but to everyone else it may be one of many that year. Each to their own.

We had one box ticked no reason - but we knew one of the couple had recently been ill so that was fine.

My uncle didn't come because it clashed with the buddhist retreat they go on each year.

But I agree - the worst are the ones that don't say and then don't turn up - OH's uncle and aunt did that, they didn't bother responding to the invite, so he called them, they said they were definitiely coming and nothing on the day. They've not been in touch since.

OHs sister initially replied as a Yes to our wedding, a few weeks later she said she couldn't come because she was starting a GCSE evening class, couple of weeks later she says she managed to rearrange it so she could come. Then a couple of weeks later she messaged me on Facebook saying "I possibly, maybe almost could have a job working at mum's work so I can't come." At the time she didn't even have the job but seemed intent on making sure she was unavailable. It's voluntary work where she can come and go as she pleases and now whenever I confront her about her decision she goes on about work committments and seems to forget that these "work committments" were non-existant when we invited her to the wedding.

See im in two minds about inviting my aunts and uncles. One for the reason i only see them at weddings and funerals (i am a "bit" closer to the one aunt mind) and also they are all in their 70's now. Also my mother had great pleasure in telling me that one uncle probably wouldnt come as he is homophobic!? but then i cant discount his wife who is lovely and doesnt agree with his views. If i invite the one i suppose have to invite them all, but then why should i send an invite to a stubborn old fool with archaic views! lol

Those that just said "no" were mostly expected anyway, and one we just a mutual distant friend that we weren't bothered whether they came or not anyway but felt we needed to invite.

I wasn't planning on following up those that declined - as long as we got a reply one way or the other by the rsvp date that's all that really mattered (plus we will chase those that haven't responded anyway to give them a chance just in case the post office ate their reply or something).

Everyone who we invited will get a copy of the DVD (per invite, not per person!) after the event anyway, with just a slightly different letter thanking them for joining with us (or sorry they couldn't).

We haven't sent invites out yet, but we set up a FB group to let some of our friends know the date (and so we can get addresses from them soon) and instead of people saying 'yay - you've set the date' or other happy reaction, we had a message back from a close friend of OH saying she probably wouldn't be able to make it because...

'she swaps work placements at that time and will be working at one until Friday and then at another on Monday'

Am I just mad or is this effectively saying - I cant come because I'm at work the day before and the monday after? Hmmm you and everyone else!!! That's why I'm paying through the nose to have the wedding on a Saturday and a late ceremony at that, so people can have the time to travel.

If people really don't want to give up their weekend to come, that's fine but I wish people would say this straight!

Blonde Viki, I am just wondering if the person who is changing work placements might have to do loads of prep before starting the new placement.

For us the main issue was people not replying. Hated having to chase people. Most people came but one couple didn't turn up on the day as he has issues travelling to places he isn't familar with. Irritated as they didn't tell me in advance. Also they managed to come to mutual friends wedding either though it was unfaimilar. Grrrrrrrrrrrr

I am absolutely gobsmacked about this! Seriously stunned...Can't believe they sent the kids as well!

1st no I had was be use they can't leave their cat on her own or get anyone to look after her. One couple can't get child care and nor can just one if them cone on their own to celebrate with us. And my mums partner won't come because he says it will be weird as my dad will be ther, but mum and dad gave been divorced 15 years and it's no issue! I've accepted it all. Ugh.

So far we have had.......

1. Can't leave the dog at home on it's own in case a firework goes off and scares it. This I would understand if it was a puppy and fireworks night. But its a few years old and the middle of December.

2. My Uncle wont come because my nans coming and they had a row about 15 years ago and havent spoken since

3. My sister wont come or let my niece be bridesmaid anymore because she thinks her ex is going to gatecrash

4. Can't get time off work - fair enough

Am I the only person that thinks people don't need an excuse? If they don't want to come then that's fine. Weddings are expensive for guests, aswell as the bride and groom.. They just might not like social gatherings, religious ceremonies, crowds or just plain not like weddings. I've been to a few weddings where I've been bored out of my brain. Aslong as our parents, siblings, grandparents and the rest of the bridal party turn up, I'll be happy. You can't really expect everybody and their goldfish to be as excited about your big day as yourself.

True, but my Nan isn't coming because of her dog. She doesn't live that far away and I wouldn't even mind if she just came to the ceremony. She went to my sister's wedding all day, so it's upsetting me that I'm not important enough to make the effort for. Especially as my sister has barely seen her in the last few years, but is still golden balls!

My childhood friend, her husband and their 11 year daughter who was supposed to be my junior bridesmaid are not coming. Not that they bothered to tell me yet!!! My mum told me she spoke to them yesterday when she visited them (my friend rented a room in mum's flat when she first moved into town and also my mum tutored her daughter after school for 3 years) and they were complaining of money issues, how expensive would it be tpo attend, flights, hotel, outfits etc. OK that i understand. What doesn't wash is why she hasn't told me herself???

But the best worst excuse has to be my father's: "I am not coming because you are stupidly marrying a penniless Sainsbury's till boy! He may be ex-RAF and a talented landscape photographer and drawing artist but he's still penniless and hasn't got a degree! There must be a lot of single or divorced managers at your bank where you work you could have married! So no, I'm not coming!" Needless to say, he isn't invited!!!!!