Those who kept their maiden name....

I like my name. I found it odd to suddenly up and change it after having it for 26 years.

My reasons are cultural and personal.

My own cultural tradition is that the women don't take the husband's surname, but we will be called Mrs. H socially (and can choose the option of adding H's surname in front). Personally it's just such a huge hassle having to change names on all sorts of documents for in my mind no reason at all. My kids will take H's surname, I don't see any reason why the whole family need to have the same surname.

But I don't speak for the average British person, so I'm sure other people will have different theories.

Once my parents are no longer around there will be no more 'maiden names' in our family, my sis and I are both married and changed our names. I find that really sad and quite wish it had occurred to me to keep my maiden name.

The main reason is I like my name. Both my names are Irish and I didn't think S's surname went very well with my first name. There is a little bit of me that didn't want to have the same name as his ex wife and mum

I'm not married but if/when I get married I will keep my own name as chicken said I've had my name for the 36 years and don't see any reason to change it. Any children will have my name as their middle name and OHs surname.

My sil asked if I wasn't changing names then what was the point in getting married. As if that was the only reason you get married!

I did have a sort of argument with OH about it and he said if I wasn't going to change my name then we wouldn't get married and that we should have the same name, he didn't like the suggestion that in that case, he should change his name to mine. the discussion stopped after that. ?

Because it's my name, as far as i'm concerned i don't need another reason. it's rather a lovely scottish name of which i'm immensely proud.

the tradition in scotland until the beginning of the last century was for married woman to keep her own name, and that's the tradition i want to follow.

I liked my name, and, similarly to what Chicken said, I had had my name for 26 years and didn't want to change it. I felt that by changing it, I would be "losing a bit of myself" if you like. However, I was keen that if we have children, the whole family will have the same name - hence I double-barrelled (and I was lucky that the two names go together quite well!).

I loved Mr K's surname and was more than happy to take it. I have gone from a rather silly distinctive surname to just a distinctive one. I did get really upset though at changing my name as the wedding got closer and had second thoughts about changing it. I found it odd - I hadn't realised how much I was attatched to my maiden name! I still don't think of myself as Mrs Married Surname, just feels really strange.

Thanks for the replies all. Maybe if I'd liked my maiden name I would have felt differently! I still haven't changed my driving licence/passport nearly 2 years after the wedding, mostly because the passport has another 6 years to run and I'm damned if I'm paying nearly £100 to change it when I don't have to! I was annoyed enough when the car insurance charged me £12 to make the change.

On the people not using your correct name front, I use the shortened version of my name and have done since I was 16. Even my parents use that, my brother uses the full version mostly because that's just his way but everyone else uses that when speaking to me. However I still get cards, particularly from MrSC's elderly relatives, that use my full name even when they don't use that in conversation IYSWIM. Also at work, my full name is in the title of my email but I always sign the shortened version yet some people persist in calling me the full version. Niggles me sometimes but only a little.

Oh and MrSC's grandparents send us money for Christmas/birthdays/our wedding always in our joint names, which is a bit difficult as we don't have a joint account. So far we've managed with the marriage cert as evidence, as far as the grandparents are concerned we should have a joint account I think. Again, it's never particularly occurred to me to say anything to them although if we ever couldn't cash the cheque I suppose we'd have to.

I've changed mine to my married name, it doesn't stop me being me just because I've changed my surname. I'm still a memaiden name just because my signature and name has changed. It does feel like I'm in a constant identity crisis at the moment as I'm half maiden name and half married name.

It seemed weird to have had one name for 31 years and then just to change it. I wouldn't change my first name so why my surname? I always said I would reconsider when we sprogged. Now we have G and she has her Dad's surname, so different to mine. I am now thinking of taking my H's surname but still can't get round to making a final decision.

What jules40 said. I don't see why I should give up my name and take his. To me it is a sign of inequality, when I want the marriage to be an equal partnership.

It would also cause difficulties in a professional context, but the first reason is more important.

I didn't change it because I couldn't. Under Belgian law you can't legally change your name at all (except in exceptional circumstances and it costs a small fortune).

But even if I could have changed my name, I wouldn't have, I don't see a single reason why I should. I really don't get the whole name changing thing (unless you really dislike your own name in which case it's a nice way to get rid of it).

I didn't change mine for several reasons:

- Identity. Some people questioned why I wanted to keep "my father's surname" over that of my husband's surname, and it annoyed my intensely re: the lack of ownership that a woman has over her name in most folks' eyes. I.e. is my husband's surname not just the name of HIS father? Why is it that having had it for 20-odd years my husband's surname becomes his, yet my surname for 20-odd years is still my father's? In which case... does it not make more sense that I identify with MY father's surname and not father-in-laws?

When I retorted this to a relative when she asked this she backed out of the conversation with nothing more convincing than "it's tradition", I mean, if you're gonna try and argue a point at least have some decent counter-points that show you've actually though about the thing you're defending, no? ?

- I don't want to be called the "new Mrs XYZ" in the long stream of identity eradication that happens. I don't want to be referred to as the same name as my MIL.

- Symbolism. Of equality.

- I like my name. My H's name is OK but mine is rather nicer!

- Practicality. I just can't be bothered to deal with all the paperwork involved.

Having said all the above, I would have changed my name if I'd not liked it, or it had mattered greatly to H perhaps I might have listened more to the arguments FOR changing (i.e. nice to have the same surname, for sentimentality, and so on, which are good points).

But neither of us cared that much to really even discuss it, it was always assumed I would not change my name at marriage, just as I assumed H would not take my name either.

I've kept my maiden name professionally but use my married name personally since having a child.

I didn't want to change it when I first married - it seemed weird to suddenly become someone else.

My husband's sister has stuck to her maiden name even after having had children. She doesn't use her married name at all.

Couldn't be bothered with the paperwork & the cost that comes with it (especially as you can only carry over 9 months on your passport.)

I don't consider myself to be my husband's property

I link my name to my identity. I don't see that my identity should chage when I get married - therefore neither should my name.

We double-barrelled our names and are both myname-hisname.It took us a while to make this decision, and for the first 6 months after the wedding we both used our original surnames. We changed to the double-barrelled version when I got pregnant as we wanted the whole family to have the same surname

I like my maiden name. I had it for 32 years before I married and saw no reason to change it. I'm very close to my family and I don't want to have a different surname to my Dad and my brothers. Plus, I just don't see why I should change my name to his name. Why shouldn't he change his to mine? So we compromised!

My H understood my reasons for not wanting to lose my maiden name, and he had no particular attachment to his original surname and was quite happy to double-barrell along with me.

Same here.

Plus professionally it's been much easier to keep my name, and reputation (such that it is!) as a freelancer.

It raises a few eyebrows and is really awkward when my business and personal bank accounts are in different names, as well as all my proofs of ID being in my maiden name, but that's not really my problem and a small price to pay (eg the bank worker who was insisting that it was illegal not to change your name to your husband's!).

The children take my husband's surname and in this context I am Mrs X.

That's a nice way of doing it. ? I quite like the idea of sharing surnames. Your husband sounds lovely, as it's not necessarily that easy for a man to change his name when he gets married. It takes some guts to go against the 'norm'.

ETA: I kept my maiden name professionally because it would have been too confusing to change it. I'd built up a lot of contacts internationally and couldn't have told everyone that I'd changed my name, especially as it's not universal that women change their name when they get married, so I think a lot of people might have thought that I was a different person.