Timings

Not sure of right and wrongs but on our invites we put ceremony at 3.30pm and on the information card put to be seated by 3.15pm.

You put the time of the ceremony. It's up to your ushers to make sure people are seated in time.

According to some websites it is rude to put an earlier time as this assumes your guests can't figure it out that they have to be there before the actual ceremony starts. We just put the actual time of the ceremony in the end and if people are late then so be it xx

Put the ceremony time in, but if you're worried about guests not getting the message about being seated early, send an itinerary with them that specifies they need to be seated by 15 mins in advance.

Don't lie to your guests, or you will end up with some people arriving an hour before your actual start time (because they wanted to be half an hour early anyway) and either sitting and getting grumpy or getting in the way of any last minute preparations.

Something like "please be seated by 12.45 for a 1pm ceremony" is fine.

You have the exact same wedding date and time as me ?

I've been wondering about this too but I'm going to go with 1pm on the invites and assume/hope people turn up by at least 12:45. I might spread the word to be there for 12:30 nearer the time.

Well I get married at 12pm and put 11.30am on my invites as I know what my family and my OH family is like! I thought it also gives an opportunity for people too have a chat before the wedding as some family haven't seen each other for a long time. My best friend for her wedding put an hour earlier on hers! Xx

Thanks everyone! MY OH has designed the invitations and we did have it down as one o'clock, but then suddenly had a panic that maybe it was wrong!

I'm not very good at wed-etiquette as I really haven't been to that many weddings myself!!

x

Oh wow!! I'd love to chat to you about where you're up to with planning etc! I have no idea how far ahead I'm supposed to do anything haha. Where is your venue?

Hi

We put please arrive for 1.30 to be seated for 2.00

As a recent OM, I'd say put the "We request that guests take their seats at 12.45 for a ceremony at 13.00" type comment. Whether it be rude or not to some, it is definitely helpful for others. It's a 'catch-all' choice that will be better in the long run.

We DIDN'T do that. We put 13.00 on the invitations when the ceremony was 13.30. Before anyone yells at me, EVERYONE was travelling long distances on the motorway, and we told the handful of local people that it was actually a 'take your seats at 13.15' kinda thing really.

However, it went wrong. So don't do what I did.

Apparently what happened was that around 13.00 the ushers started to gather up some relatives to show them where their seats were (a bit of a hike from the main mingling / reception area), and suddenly word spread and lots of people then dashed to the ceremony room without being asked to. Once a rush started, everyone went. None of the ushers stepped in to calm it all down, and this resulted in everyone sitting and waiting in the ceremony room for 30 minutes unnecessarily. Then the registrar started the whole thing more than 15 mins late, so they were actually sitting there for 45 minutes.

So, put the actual ceremony time down somewhere, to prevent guests rushing to take seats too early.

Plus, I actually think it was the ushers fault, as they should have intervened and told everyone to calm down and have a beer as there was plenty of time yet. So maybe speak to your ushers too !!!

Edit: Oh, and my husband was a bit of a div too, as when telling me this story, he also mentioned that whilst people were mingling and having drinks around 12.30pm, when people asked HIM what time the ceremony was, making small talk, he kept saying 1pm as he got confused. Eeejit.

I have one of those! There have been several occasions when I have asked OH what time a doctors appointment is and he has said "2ish" when in reality it's 1.50 or 2.15. He's technically not wrong with the 'ish' but it's not helpful at all, haha.

You put the actual time. People know to arrive early and if travelling will allow extra time anyway. I've never known anyone be late to any wedding I've been to. X

This is what we did

My ceremony is at 2pm, I put 1.30pm on the invitations. I'm getting married in London on a bank holiday Monday so I know the surrounding parking areas will be busy and I also have people travelling from far away. The venue are going to get people seated at 1.45pm ready for my arrival x