Tips for newly weds

Mr Hole is such a gayer.

You don't know the half of it, dude ?

A couple I know have recently got married in similar circumstances....

TBH, she was a bit disappointed as she expected marriage to suddenly change her and her H.... didnt seem amazingly happy about the sex either (she was shouting out all about it beforehand - about the wedding night being the most amazing night of her life.... not seeing the sun on honeymoon etc)... think reality bit a little.

I think I would tell them....

* sex isnt always great and compatibility comes into in somewhere

* life goes on.... you still have the same old day-to-day stuff that being married doesnt change

* laugh each and every day about something, however small

* don't expect it to always be perfect.... there are always rocky moments....

My brother is 28 and his fiance is 35. Neither of them have had a long term relationship before or lived with a member of the opposite sex. They do know about how to live in a house seperately though as he has his own house and she rents.

I know when I got married, I was after as much help as I could get, to help improve my marriage and the lifelong commitment I had made to Mr Koshka.

I am pretty sure my bro won't take it as condesending or patronising, if it provides just a little bit of help then thats great.

And I am thankful for all the tips and comments provided.

Can't offer much except my grans advice the morning I got married...

"When you are married there will be 'things' you 'have' to do, you DO NOT have to enjoy them"

My first thought was that this seems kind of patronising.

My second thought was that I have been married all of five years so who am I to give advice ?

BUT there is something I remember my virgin friends saying about their wedding. I was looking at their wedding photos and asking about various parts of the day. The husband's answer was always 'I can't really remember, I just wanted to go to our hotel room at that point'

So my tip would be not to bother having an evening do, they've waited bloody years for a shag, why waste the evening eating sausage rolls and making small talk with Great Aunty Agnes by the chocolate fountain.

Or - make sure there is a couple of hours gap between the ceremony and the reception. Although everyone will know why ?

I actually think that for people of that age, it is a little patronising. Yes, they're virgins and they;ve not lived together before but whey should that mean they need advising? When Mr W and I moved in, we didn't get a book of tips, we just got on with it and learnt together about living as a couple.

ETA - do you know what my biggest piece of advice would actually be? Don't rush in to it! 2 months is no time to know someone really. Is there a reason they're getting married so soon? My Christian friends lived together (in sep. beds) for a year before getting married, which I think was really sensible.

I've read the whole thread and IMO this is the most sensible advice. H & I got married after 2 years, and, looking back, that was very quick. After 2 months I didn't even know his middle name, let alone his philosophy on life and what he wanted from it and the future. I also hadn't met his parents ? You're a long time married - don't rush in.

I have to say IMO Id hate someone to give me a book with all these hints & tips in, I'd find it quite patronising that people diddn't think we had a good enough relationship and common sense to deal with the fact things may not be all rosey and changes will have to be made to accomodate the new living together and sex thing.

Sorry thats just my opinion, I suppose when they get married they will have been together over a year so thats enough time to get to know all the little things about someone - without actually living with them - although H & I have lived together 3 years and I still find little annoying things about him I don't like ?

if I had to give any tip it would be never go to sleep on an argument

slightly different circumstances as my friend wasn't a virgin, but i have a catholic friend who married a guy reasonably quickly after meeting him as she wanted children but not out of wedlock. and she was mid thirties too so didn't want to leave it a couple of years so just got on with it. maybe koshka's SIL2B has the same opinion? just a thought...

i have no advice on whirlwind weddings as we'd been together six years before we got hitched ?

They're v young though - early 20s. Anyway, my advice would be "don't do it". Sorry to sound bitter and twisted, but they're too young, they barely know each other and they're rushing into it because it's the only way for them as Christians to get their end away. Recipe for disaster imo.

sorry, i thought i'd read she was 35. have i mixed them up with someone else? ?

edited to add...see! page 5! he's 28 and she's 35

<does the 'i was right' dance>

You are correct - dance away ? That changes things.