To postpone our wedding or not?

Just wanted to say, my thoughts are with you and i hope things go well at the hospital!

Take care x

My prayers are with you and your fella Tia. xx

Quickie wedding ceremony then big party later when all better (Hopes he will be) and money comes through??

My heart goes out to you and all youre going through, hoping its good news!

xx

Thank you, that's very sweet of you. We are both extremily nervous and worried :s.

Quickie wedding and big party when he's all better does sound like a good way to go. thank you

Dear Beki, you poor thing. I am so sorry to hear all of this - my heart goes out to you. When is your wedding? If it is stillsix months or more away, could you just give it a week until you have more information? I also think you should try to tell your closest friends and family how you feel - your uncertainty will seem a lot less stressful when you have begun to notify people that there may be a change in your plans.

To be honest, and this is a bit presumptuous of me but it is what I would say if I was your friend in real life, I wonder whether actually you are stressing over the wedding as a way of displacing your unspoken anxiety about the outcome of the tests...I imagine you are trying to strong for your OH and maybe haven't let yourself respond emotionally to your horrible news.

Please just try and give yourself a rest from worrying about the wedding, it will become obvious what you have to do once you hear confirmation about your OH's health.

I am sending you hugs - please phone someone...your mum? Your friend? I am worried about you xx

I agree.

I know how it feels to be waiting for news about health i had it last week hope all is ok, thinking of you both xxx

Thank you everyone for you kind words and support.

To Gurzle,

Thank you for your message, it was touching. yes your right, the wedding is more a way to vent my anger/frustration/upset/enxiety. I'm 19 years old, left home last year to move in with OH, my stepmum and dad are not the most supportive people, although they have been very nice and they have tried. I dont know what to do really, of course i have to be strong, i cant loose it now . With regards to the wedding, i think we will have just the ceremony (it's in 3 1/2 months) for now, untill i know what to do, and untill i know we can afford it. im worrying because if my OH goes into hospital, i dont have a way of getting to him, except a bus which is going to cost a fortune getting a total of 4 busses a day.

Guess all i can really do is wait and see what happens.

Thanks again, to everyone,

Thinking of you both for tomorrow and hope whatever you decide you have a fab day x

I am so sorry to hear this, thinking of you both xxx

You poor girl - thinking of you today xx

My thoughts are with you....so sorry to hear what is happening. I think just leave the wedding for now and get through today....then you can make a decision when you know more.

Sending lots of love and good vibes xxx

Oh you poor thing... I really hope that you get through today ok.

My advice would be to tackle one thing at a time.

If being married is important to you right now, you can have a wedding with 2 witnesses and be married for not a lot of money now, you could then concentrate on your OH getting better and arrange to have a celebration at a later date when you have less to worry about and time to save again.

Please do let us know how you get on, and we are all here to listen if you need to get anything off your chest.

Hello,

Just a little update, the operation went ok, they have found two masses in his large bowel which have been romoved. They will now be tested to see if they are cancerous and we should find out by the end of this week, he's ok, just extremily tired and sore. It took 3times as long as they said it would take though :s. Thank you for your support. will keep you all updated.

thanks again.

I completely agree with everyone here - what an awful time for you and your OH. Get today over with, then focus on hearing the results within the week. I know you want to sort out the wedding plans as this is the one thing that is within your control right now but until you know what is wrong with your OH and whether there will be more treatment you will be planning in the dark. Treatment could be a number of different options with a lot of different timeframes. You also don't mention what your OH wants to do? Does he want to postpone or go ahead? I imagine his head is all over the place right now, as is yours, and he won't be able to make a decision which will be a good sign to wait until you can both decide what to do. With regards to the money aspect, it sounds like you have been trying to do this all with not the worlds biggest budget even before your OH became unwell. Were you already having doubts as to what you could afford to do before he was referred for surgery? What would it cost if you were to postpone everything and save up a little bit more? Do you have any kind of insurance? Your OH's situation might be a reason they would pay out which might help take the pressure off you both while you decide what to do. I don't know whether you have found the right online support to help you cope with the unknown of your situation right now but I'd recommend www.macmillan.org.uk and go to their online community - you'll be able to talk virtually to other people who understand how horrible it is right now to not have any answers, only uncertainty. You are young to be facing such a potentially huge diagnosis so look for the Young Peoples forum. Good luck and keep talking - to us but also your OH. He will feel better knowing you are there for him regardless of what the surgery shows. Hugs KK

Hope all goes well for the results at the end of the week, thinking of you ? xx

Oh what a horrible situation for you both, I hope it is good news from the test results I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you x

You've been in my thoughts this week - hope everything is going ok. Hugs xx