Phew! Where to begin? Just wanting to sound off really and perhaps get others views on this....
So I have 3 adult bridesmaids. 1 is my longest and dearest friend that we shall call A and she is my MOH. The other 2 are friends that I have known for about 4 years now through the dancing that I do. We shall call these B and C. B and C were both picked for their qualities that they would bring as BM's. Both very organised and helpful and honest. A may well be my oldest friend and knows me inside out but her organisational skills leave a lot to be desired and it's very much all about A no matter what we are doing so although I knew I wanted her to be my MOH i knew I wouldn't be able to reply upon her for sorting things out like the hen do and going out of her way to do nice little things for us. She is not a nasty person by any means but she is very scatty.
B got in touch with me a few months ago and asked me what I wanted to do for the Hen do. I'm not one of these girls that wants to traipse round town with an L plate on my head and a shot glass round my neck so I decided on 2 activities. She was eager for me to get it sorted asap as she said time was ticking and it needed to be done asap - we get married in December. So I decided to have a spa day in a nice hotel followed by a grease themed party night at the same hotel. That way those that wanted to do both or one or the other could and it seemed to suit.
She asked for all the details of who I wanted to invite and said to leave it with her. I was so relieved that it was getting sorted and I need do nothing but sit back and look forward to it. Until we hit a problem. We are all dancers and the majority of my friends are also. It so happened that the day of the hen do coincided with an event that one of our dancing friends was hosting and therefore people would have to chose between that and my hen do which I wanted to avoid. We looked for other dates that did the grease night all to no avail. B was being a bit funny about it saying that she had had little response from my friends and those that had responded had said it was too expensive. I agree the spa day was pricey and I wasn't expecting everyone to want to come to that but the themed night was not pricey at all. Everytime she hit a hurdle she came back to me asking me to sort it. I searched everywhere for another venue that could offer the same on a differnt date but it was a no go. The other problem I had was that B is never available as she runs businesses and travels a lot meaning that i had only a few weekends to choose from if I wanted her there so that restricted me even more :-S This themed night was in July which in her opinion was too soon to be classed as a hen do because the wedding was 5 months after.
Eventually i decided to scrap the idea and almost decided upon no hen do at all because of the headache of sorting it. She was supposed to be doing it for me yet every problem she came across she bounced it to me for me to sort. So on the advice of another friend I thought about changing the hen do completeley and asked around to see how keen people would be on coming away for a hen weekend to a nice cottage somewhere. I got a great response from my dearest friends and so I started making arrangements to book it. B was off on her holidays at this point and so I turned to A and C for their input and advice. It was all running very smoothly. Everyone was available on the same day and best of all everyone wanted to come. I provisionally pencilled the date in the with cottage and started going about collecting deposits. I text B on her jollies and she replied saying that she would not be available on the weekend of the holiday. Obviously I was upset about this and felt like i needed to change it. Afterall I couldn't have my hen weekend without one of my BM's there could I? Speaking to C who is friends with B she said there was no point in changing it as it was all set and everyone else was happy with the date and although it was unfortunate that she couldn't come I shouldn't worry too much.
Since then however B has been very off with me and very awkward at every opportunity. We all needed to go into the bridal shop to try on BM dresses and a fitting for mine and when asked for her availability at weekends she said she was not free at all until the end of June which is obviously far too late to be picking BM dresses. I had to make the decision to go in without her and so we did,picked the dresses and the shop advised me to tell her to call in asap to get measured for her dress. I text her yesterday to let her know this and she replied saying that she was booked solid for the next 2 weeks.
I just feel that she is being awkward on purpose because I went ahead and sorted my own hen do and it so happens that she cannot come. I am sure she could find an hour one afternoon to pop in and get measured but I just feel she is being difficult.
I then get a text message this morning out of the blue from C (the only BM that has given me no issues at all so far) telling me that the shop she works in is having to close due to poor business and she is not going to be able to be a bridesmaid because she cannot afford it. She apologised for not doing it face to face and said she realised that it was letting me down massively but she was sorry. She had wanted to buy her own dress to help us out and so I replied and said i was sorry to hear about her job etc. I also said that i knew she wanted to buy her own dress but we would sort it and there shouldn't be anything else that costs that much and she had a while yet to go between now and the wedding but I understood if she didn't want to do it anymore but she needed to make her decision before Friday as I was going in to the shop to order the dresses at the weekend and if she isn't going to be a bridesmaid, i don't need a dress for her.
ARGGHH!! To make things worse the venue are causing issues for us now too. We booked a year ago after much tooing and fro-ing to get a good deal. The venue supply packages at different prices and the most basic package was way too much for us so we took loads of things out that we didn't need and added a few things in instead that we did. Just before Christmas I sent en email to the lady we had been dealing with to ask a generalised question and 2 weeks went by with no response so I called to speak to her to be told that she no longer works there and hadn't I been told? No I had not. We went in to meet with them and became very clear that they had none of our details at all.
Since then we have had random emails asking us if we require their DJ (no, already discussed at booking) if we require use of their cars (yes booked when we first went in) we've had 2 car emails! Then the icing on the cake was yesterday when they emailed us to ask the date of our wedding! I fired off a strongly worded email expressing our concerns over our missing details and the lack of communication from them. I received a response from them this morning to say that they were looking into my concerns and would get back to me. I then got a few lines of an unfinished email that she had hit send on before finishing and then a hasty apology saying she had sent it in error. It;s just one incompitence after another and I am starting to get edgy and wishing we have just stuffed everyone and gone abroad!
