Top Table ?

Thats hard as with his extras it makes it 10 - thats a very long top table. I would probably leave it at the 6 to stop it getting to complicated. Then have the next group on the closest tables - maybe have table names instead of numbers so there is no 'less important'

TBH I think even the amount he wants on his side (7 including himself) is too much for a top table and you would need a pretty large top table to accommodate that. If you both had 7 people you would probably need a table that was around 6/7 meters long.

Could you have these people on round tables nearest to the top table and maybe mention them in the speeches to show how important they are to you?

You could have those 'extra' people on the tables nearest to you, perhaps asking them to 'host' a table so that they feel important and close to the action.

I agree, though, that many on a top table would feel be too imposing - like a committee meeting! lol

You could have a sweetheart table with just the two of you then you wouldnt have to worry about people feeling left out? Or how about having all of your tables as long banqueting tables? Then it wont be so obvious the top table is long?