Trying to be reasonable...

Either the Mum feels uncomfortable being their during the day (valid, but agree that it would have been predictable) or Mum is too emotionally stressed/distressed to attend (valid). The two excuses are not (in my cabbage) obviously linked.

I suspect the first is the real reason, and the second is being used as a conversation-stopper to stop you objecting. Very unfair of your friend - it's not a very nice tactic, to use illness as a means to shut people up.

Let it go. I had empty seats at my wedding, they were paid for, nothing I could do about it.

I still had a great day though.

Don't fall out with your friend over it.

That's really unfair of your friend to throw in the health issues.

If that had been used as the reason initially you probably would have understood, but it wasn't. I agree that's it's just been used to shut you up. But what can you say now? Now she's mentioned the big C if you object anymore you're going to look like a selfish, heartless bridezilla and she knows that.

Unfortunately I think it's one of those things you'll just have to accept and move on.

I don't think you can win with this wedding stuff. If guests mess you about and you dare say anything, you're a wedding obsessed nightmare who thinks everyone should have your wedding as top priority.

I hadn't even considered the possibility of people cancelling after balances had been paid but from what I see on here its quite common.

Definitely try to accept it, don't ask questions and move on if you can so you can enjoy your day and enjoy having your best friend there. I know she could have told her ages ago- but not many people realize the stress and sheer amount of planning that goes into a wedding (I'm just starting to learn that myself!!) so forgive and forget I think. Also- in the grand scheme of things its just 1 wedding meal... maybe you can offer it to your photographer to keep them sweet?

I would never fall out with her over it, it's just made me feel awkward.

And I wondered whether my reaction had been ott.

Iobviously realise it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but it annoyed me.

Itwon't matter in the morning I suppose

Duplicate

Honestly, the only person who can understand how irritating this is must be another wedding planner! People honestly just don't realise.

Is there anyone else you wanted to squeeze into the day that you didn't have room for who could come and make use of the meal?

So true! I had to deal with 2 people messing be about the day before which affected 5 places.

I think it's best to kiss and make up

I thought this too, must admit.

I suspect your friend may be just as embarrassed by her mums decision as you are annoyed by it. Maybe thats why she threw in the health stuff x

I understand why your annoyed because I also think its an excuse. I agree that other people don't understand the stress or urgency of wedding planning other than other people planning thier wedding.

My wedding is a year away but I will bet my life my sister will let me down. I've been to speak to her today and she swears she won't so time will tell but I'm pretty sure. I just see it as what can u do and if it happens we will still be married at the end of the day so not a massive disaster.

Not worth falling out over. She's probably embarrassed that her mum has let you as well

Not really sure what my sister has got to do with if lol. But at least it's now down in writing that I was right lol

Its a shame, but is there anyone you could "bump up" from an evening invite who would appreciate it?

Sh*t like this happens, and its true that only people planning these kind of events understand the "arrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhh" factor!!