Turning out to be a nightmare

If you and your partner want to go out to Florida and get married then this i believe is what you should do. There is a difference from saying, we're eloping we dont want anyone there to We are marrying abroad, if you would like to join us you can.

x

It would just be us, His parents are very old and do not fly and my family don't really care enough to come.

I'm not sure about what legalities you have to have when you marry abroad but could you do the legal ceremony here, just in front of your parents, and then fly straight off for a Florida honeymoon where you could also have a private ceremony without legalities? If you're purely having a small ceremony here it might not need to add too much more to your budget? And then the two of you can fly off for your dream trip and have all the meaningful, romantic stuff, just the two of you, knowing all the folks back home were happy?

You could get married abroad and then have a blessing here? with parents

x

The problem is we live in bolton, my family are all in birmingham area, his sister is Hull, and our friends are in oxfordshire. They are not all going to travel for a 20minute ceremony

I am close with my family, they are just happy with what ever i want to do rather than what they feel i should do.

I don't think I have explained myself correctly. If we did get married here there would only be 18 guests I have looked into register office ceremony and a meal in a restaurant for us all and it is still gonna be a grand. with what it is going to cost to go to florida we just don't have that extra £1000.

for a ceremony on the beach in florida, flowers, photography and a video it will cost £660.

I have been married before, I had to massive hoo haa and don't want to go through that again. My partner has not. That is why are families feel different.

Our budget just can't please everyone

Does your OH care about his parents seeing it? If not I would suggest do it as you want on a beach and then at some point in the future have a blessing or something that they can attend.

For the 18 people in the UK, could you just pay for the register office and then have a small gathering at home rather than pay for a restaurant then? I imagine it's the meal that will cost more. 18 people is not too many to have at home. When my mum married my step-dad, she was in a similar situation actually as she had been married before, he hadn't but didn't want a fuss, and they had planned to have just the two of them but had a small do to keep the family happy. We just went to the register office in the morning and I actually made the reception buffet at the house - vol au vents and things (it was the 90's!) but there are so many different catering options these days. You could just have afternoon tea or perhaps make burgers / hot dogs to tie in with your America plans - it doesn't have to cost much and it can be informal and relaxed so your OH doesn't feel he's in the spotlight.

It is your day, you do what you and your other half want to do. That is what you wanted so go and do it. You have said that you will have a party when you get back and thats fair enough. The day is about you two not about what anyone else wants.

Me and my OH are getting married in Scotland just the two of us and having a get together afterwards. We've been together for over 4 years now with children and live as a married couple, we want our day to be jsut the two of us so regardless of what other people want thats what were doing.

Enasy, I was in the same situ as you, married before and OH's first marriage. We did elope, and told people what we were doing. My family didn't really care, but we were worried what his parents would say. As it happened, they would have liked to be there, but accepted that that wasn't going to happen. Had they minded, I think we would have eloped anyway, although it would have taken longer for OH to come round to the idea. At the end of the day, it has to be a wedding that fits your budget and wishes. Your OH's parents will come round to the idea eventually, and even if they don't, well, you'll be married ?

Then they shouldn't be bothered about you wanting to go to Florida.

Would it be cheaper and less hassle to just pay for FMIL to fly out to Florida with you?

I might be being a bit harsh, but the way I see it is if FMIL wants to see her son married then she has to go to Florida to see that, and if she won't fly to Florida then... oh well.

If your OH is happy not to change your plans just to please his mother, then stick with your plans. You said you were having it videoed - so she'll see the wedding, just afterwards.

My other half obviously doesn't want to upset anyone but he would prefer to just go away just us and do it. I don't want to ask parents for financial help after all it is our choice to get married and I don't want a big thing. Once they have financial input they will want to control more of it.

The family that live further away are the ones who don't mind us going away. It's his parents who also live in Bolton that have the issue. I don't want to fly them out because it would defeat the object of going away to be on our own. Plus at £700 a flight it's out of the question.

I know it's probably un heard of but we simply just don't want people there.

Im starting to feel like I will regret it if we don't just go