Uh oh

Cryptic ?

Snow bride is referring to a thread on Wedding Planning:

Ahh, makes sense now. Some people may get the wrong end of the stick, but as someone who doesnt have children or any nieces or nephews, none of these things would occur to me so a heads up might be useful.

I thought your points were generally well made snow bride. There's always someone who will take it the wrong way - sometimes deliberately I think.

I found your thread really helpful. I have absolutely no experience with children and will probably just be having one at my wedding but most of the points made hadn't even crossed my mind.

Oh *** it, I'm just going to say it. Yes: You are 'That guest'

I had over 20 under 12's at my wedding and yes, I thought in great detail how to make them and their parents comfortable. We had Childrens OOS at the Church with crayons, we had childrens out-door games at the reception, and specific childrens favours. So I am not ignorant of the fact that Children have different needs to adults.

BUT, it is YOUR responsibility as a parent to ensure that your children do not use cutlery as drums, smash the glassware or eat the table centres - NOT the bride! (To be honest, shouldn't you be teaching them that anyway? Whose responsibility is it when you go to a restaurant?) Also I would have thought that if it happens that as parents you have not actually been seated 'sandwiching' your children that you'd just have the brains to switch seats - it's not as if you've been glued to them.

The box of fluffies over on WP have been very polite, but frankly (and only since you ask) you have become 'that guest'.

Attention seeking much?

Im sorry but I have to agree with this. The points that you've raised on that thread are all basic parenting?! It would take you two seconds to move cutlery/glasswear/table decorations away from your child. For me it would be instinctive to move anything that could be dangerous or broken away from my son.

Also, you want the bride and groom to supply wipes for YOU to clean YOUR child?! Would it really be too much to put a pack in your bag?! As for saying that the toys/sweets (the gifts) were not age appropriate, that sounds a bit ungrateful to me. Again, put a toy in your bag?!

Yorkshirekiwi, I agree with you, 100%

Those things listed in the original thread are just common sense things that come with being a parent.

Yeah...I agree too. Do you also expect people to put away their ornaments, crockery etc when you visit their homes? If you're gonna have kids, you have to take ALL the responsibilities that come with that, including doing what needs to be done to ensure they don't smash a glass into their face.

At a wedding I went to the bride ended up shouting at a bunch of kids who were running around being unruly getting in the way of candles, tableware, H's DJ equipment etc, while their parents were busy at the bar ignoring them. I could see she was getting upset and I was really annoyed for her. On her wedding day she should NOT have been chasing around after kids. The same goes for all brides and grooms.

I don't understand why you have asked this question....

If you give advice you've got to accept that some people will disagree with you. So what? You were trying to be helpful and the brides seemed to appreciate it.

Since you ask though, I do think that some of your suggestions are a bit over the top and put a lot of onus on B&Gs. In my opinion it is your job to keep your child safe, other people's possessions intact and bring your own baby wipes.

I don't know of any parent, who leaves the house without wipes.

Mine are 4, 7, 11 and 11, yet I still take wipes out with me.

mine are 10 and 13 and i take wipes......moreso for me! hehe

I take wipes with me even if I don't take the children! And for the record, my eldest just turned 25 today!!!

I'm afraid I agree with the others here though, children are the responsibility of their parents and it is not down to the bride and groom to sort things out for them. While it is nice to think about what the children might like - stick to providing age appropriate gifts but leave all the parenting to the parents.

Hahaha! AuntieBJ i think my mum does that too. I'm 32 ?

It wasn't the OP that suggested providing wipes.

I agree parents should supervise their own children but I'm sure tips like placing those with buggies on the outer edges are useful and would save the staff and other guests lots of inconvenience.

Yeah, I carry wipes around with me and I don't have kids. Man, I can spill. Actually the wipes thing wasn't the worst suggestion, cos some people do those bathroom baskets and if you're gonna cater to adults who haven't brought any deodorant with them, you may as well throw some wipes in there too. it was stuff like not having certain types of table decorations that I thought was more ridic.

I get your point ID but I think the OP was pointing out that if you do put crystals on the table then don't get upset when parents move them. We all know some brides get very bridezilla about guests interfering with their carefully planned decorations etc. As you've said if adults can't be relied upon to bring their own hairspray etc then why do we think childrens needs should be ignored.

I'm still laughing at the guest who was had a go at by the bride because their 4 month old didn't do any colouring.

I honestly think the OP was just trying to be helpful - these are potential issues, if you don't want us to mess with your plans you need to consider them, sort of thing. I do think swapping seats is pretty straightforward though - although if it involves moving high chairs etc and it's quite crammed it can cause a bit of a kerfuffle.

Oh God, I didn't see that! Yeah, that's pretty stupid.

Why the hell did you make this thread?!

It was me who suggested the wipes, not just for kids, but if you're doing bathroom baskets, then chuck a pack of wipes in. I certainly don't expect people to provide everything for my children at a wedding, it was merely trying to be a helpful suggestion. I probably used more of the wipes at our wedding on me than the kids!

Ateotd, you know your own guests and what they would appreciate and we tried to cater for the children, just don't get all upset and offended when someone moves your beautiful lit tealights out of the way of little fingers!

It was me that the bride had a go at for my child's lack of colouring...

If you read my posts you'll see why I have made the comments I have.

I also got told off for removing a handful of table crystals out of my 8 months old reach as I ruined the look. Although interestingly she hadn't put any on the top table near her kids as it was 'dangerous'. Tit for tat!

And yes, I never suggested supplying wipes. In fact I've said repeatedly please don't worry about supplying anything special for the teeny ones. Just please don't get narky with me if I move my seat, push things out of my child's way.

Except that that is the exact opposite of what you said, which is why I called you on it.

What you said was - please keep glassware and table centres at a safe distance, please set the cutlery for my children only immediately before we eat, please give my children special favours.........sorry, but as I said before all of those things are YOUR responsibility.

Yes having baby wipes available if you're doing a bathroom basket anyway is a reasonable suggestion (although i don't know any parenst who travel without them) - but it wasn't your suggestion. Nor was the one about putting babies (and their buggies) out of the way in a corner........I was so gonna go with the 'nobody puts baby in a corner' line. But actually - what a crock! We'll invite your kids to our wedding then shove them in a corner where they can't see or hear what's going on??? Ridiculous, put your kids front and centre where they can see what's happening and they'll be far less likely to be fractious. Kids don't need to be in buggies all the time anyway, especially not indoors, so there's no need for them to be in the way anyway.

I stand by my point, yes it's lovely when brides and grooms are considerate of small children, but you are the parents and the specific items you raised in your OP are absolutely not the responsibility of the B&G, nor should they be.