Uh-oh: total wedding overhaul.

How much have you already told people about your day? If you haven't sent invitations and haven't told everyone all about it then you won't have to tell too many people about the change.

As for your BMs, I'm sure they'll understand. if they can manage to come with you, can you keep them in the role? Maybe you could offer to contribute to their travel costs to the same amount as you'd have spent on a 'proper' dress for them, and just let them either wear their own dress or get a nice cheap one to match the new plans.

We're getting married abroad, nobody else is invited though, and we're having a whole day over here too including bridesmaids, speeches, everything so we're doing what we want but not upsetting anyone else

Good luck with your plans, bet you feel great now you've really managed to get the wedding you both want

xxx

And here was me thinking you've gone for the Star Wars themed wedding after all!

Good luck with your plans

You must feel so relieved especially if it is what you both want. I am sure your BM will understand. Have you already bought their dresses? The only reason I ask is that when I got married abroad (1st time). We had a blessing when we got back in a church in all our wedding attire again and then went straight to our party afterwards. Your BM could still carry out their role and wear their dresses then and you get to have photo's with them and family who can't travel abroad with you.

I do feel very relieved- almost ecstatic in fact.

Our wedding plans practically blew up overnight due to my parents input; we went from a £300 dress, 26 guests and one adult and one baby bm's to 100 guests, a £1000 dress and 6 bm's. Although my mum and dad offered to cover most of the costs, we came accross stresses that money could not solve- like guest list dramas and bm's bickering of matching dresses.

We only recently bought a house and, although we are comfortable financially, OH has found himself doing ridiculous amounts of overtime in order to match some of our personal costs (minimal compared to my parents, but we had always agreed to buy the favours and invites which went from 26 to 100. We can't expect an increase in guests but not an increase in cost).

The day we got engaged we went to several travel agents to discuss getting married on a yacht in Cyprus, but my parents poohed this practically straight away and sort of took over. If i'm honest, I'm surprised OH has lasted this long with the idea of a big white wedding. I didn't want to upset my parents but I suppose we have hit that point where they are actually upsetting us. Something had to be done.

As for our STD's, they will still apply. We will have our evening do in the same venue and everyone will get their food & drink and a flash of the dress, I doubt the majority will even pass comment as they know nothing about our plans so far. I'm going to buy all of the BM's a little present to say thankyou for their help and support so far, but explain that we are now going abroad for a small ceremony and we think six bridesmaids might look out of place in a congregation of 12. They are more than welcome to join us, but if they can't we shall make sure that they get a few extra drinks at the evening do.

I'm sort of sad but really really happy all at once!!

Might still happen, watch this space!!

If you can wait till 2013, May 4th (be with you) is on a saturday... unless you fancy a Friday wedding in 2012...

Good for you, I can't tell you the number of times I have considered doing something similar! Glad that you are now going to get the wedding you wanted, it is so easy for everything to get out of control. I'm sure your BMs will understand as long as they know that this way, you and your OH get the wedding that is much more "you".

Aj- I'm too scared to suggest it. H2B WILL have me walking down the aisle to The Imperial March. Not open for discussion ☹️

Hiya JezVonSavage, we were in the same posistion, when we first got engaged we knew we wanted to get married abroad on a beach, but when we starting planning some family and friends said they wouldnt be coming due to costs and we felt as though we should scrap our dreams and get married in this country to keep everyone happy. After a year and a half of planning my fiance and i sat down to talk though our finances and our budget had more than doubled for something we didnt really want seemed crazy. So last week i went round all the travel agents to price up weddings in the carribean and on friday we booked 2 weeks all inclusive at the moon palace in mexico, we fly out in oct this year, i cant wait. We already have bridesmaid dresses but they can still wear those for our eve reception when we get back, we are staying at our origional venue but just havin a night do, ill still wear the dress i have bought, so we wont be losing much money on the deposits we have already paid. We are so much happier now, we have upset a few people and it probably seems a bit selfish but its what we want and our true friends understand. You just need to be straight with them as soon as poss. When are you due to get married?

Good for you. I think it's important to make sure that you are happy first, even if it is difficult to explain to family. I hope your wedding is everything you want it to be. Are you going to tell your OH after the wedding about the star wars idea?

xx

I feel selfish too but then I also think that's a bit silly of me. All the people who are moaning I don't really care about anyway!

We are booked for the 25th August 2012, so it's a way off. Now we are thinking we'll actually get maried somewhere in Greece in May- nothing finalised yet though. I can't wait ?