Unbe-frickin-lieveable... *possible bridezilla warning*

Here, have a hug ? I think I'd be as narked as you, poppet. I don't know what to suggest, and I don't know your friends... but all I can say is the ones who value your friendship will make sure they're at yours, especially if this girl is known to have form

xx

Hi

No one would blame you for stamping your feet! I'm staggered at the way people behave towards their "friends". Personally I wouldn't message her much more, but I'm very intolerant of that kind of behaviour.

People may come on and say to you that peoples lives don't revolve around your wedding, but if it were me I'd be FRICKING RAGING.

If you do have a lot of mutual friends I consider it highly inconsiderate and rude.

I would get my RSVP's out first, because I'm like that - you may not be.

The fact she was so excity=ed about yours, and said all that about not booking hols, for me shows she was well aware and must have known what she was doing. But I'd ask her about it - you never know maybe she hasn't booked her venue yet and has really forgot in all her excitement of her own wedding.

I'd be fuming tbh. At the end of the day it's up to her if she's booked hers a few days before your wedding, and there might be a good reason. All I know is I've organised my HM plans with one of my friend's date in mind so I don't miss her big day

Thanks folks. I don't think I am going to do anything 'bridezilla-ish', there is no way I am going to even mention it to her in fact. I am sure a part of her would revel in me even bringing it up. We don't see each other regularly, and I certainly won't be messaging her again. I was going to invite her to my wedding, but I don't even think there's any point now - as someone else said she will most likely be on honeymoon, or at the very least short of cash to be travelling up to my venue in Staffs from where she lives.

The fact that she hasn't told any of our gang (old uni mates from about 10 years ago) is very odd, but hey ho that's the way she wants it. She didn't make it her public status, it was in a comment that just gave the number of days til her wedding in reply to someone asking her. Then I was coming on the budget planner here and mine flashed up with 267 so that's when I realised it was the Friday just before mine! So I don't know if she has everything booked, but I assume the main stuff if she was that precise with days.

So it means expense for our friends with 2 hens, 2 overnight stays, 2 gifts, possibly 2 outfits, 2 lots of travelling and so on. That's if they are even invited to hers, I don't think any of them knew she had set the date til she commented earlier. If I get an invite to hers I don't think it would be possible to go down south, where she lives now, as that Friday or Sat I am setting up my venue and having a rehearsal/run through. Certainly won't have time to be finding an outfit, paying for accommodation and all the travelling it would entail. Still I may be jumping the gun there.

I want to just shrug it off and think that she has just forgotten my date, it is engrained in my brain but definitely not for others! I would believe that but for the fuss she made. Deep down I think she has just been inconsiderate and wanted to 'beat me to it'. I can kind of understand as from day 1 of her relationships she thinks she is going to marry the guy and have babies, and I was the most unrelationshippy person ever at uni! I got the feeling at my party she was like 'if you can 'get' a guy why can't I?' and it seemed a huge rush for her to be at the same stage as I was.

Oh i really wouldnt be happy if someone done that to me and i dont think that youre being a bridezilla what-so-ever! And if it were me and the only date i could get my venue for was two days before my friends wedding then i wouldnt get married there! I'd just cross it off as a possible venue and go look for somewhere else.

I do have an old school friend who is a bit like that though, everything seems to be a competition, she got engaged about 9 years ago and everytime i'd hear from her (twice a year) one of the 1st things she would say would be "are you not engaged yet?" as though she had one over on me lol. She knows we're engaged now but ive not even had a congratulations??

Have you sent out Save the Date cards or anything yet? I'd be tempted to send them out with your xmas cards if you havent, and send one to her too so she knows all your mutual friends are invited to your wedding 1st lol

The Devil in me would make sure I got my invites out first!

I would do exactly the same

WSS - think your "friend" is no friend at all. Put yourself first because that is clearly what she is doing. Don't let it get you down xx

Thanks guys. Glad I am not being unreasonable in feeling a bit PO about it!

Yup save the dates went out with our engagement party invites months and months ago (think it was Feb!) so everyone who knows us knows we have been planning it all this year.I haven't seen her since the party and we are not constantly in touch, but we lived together for 4 years at uni and hold a lot of each other's secrets and shared experiences from those years, and as far as I know we still class each other as friends. I know that I would not have booked the same weekend if the situation was reversed, just out of basic manners, but I am very organised and have everything in my phone planner so would be checking and updating constantly. I know not everyone plans that way so I don't want to kick off.

I was going to send invites out in March, tbh part of me really doesn't care if hers go out first, I don't really want to play her competitive games if that's what she is after. I am sure our friends (who were all there at my engagement party and heard her moaning about her boyfriend refusing to marry her and watched him ignoring us all night) will make every effort to be at both, or if not hopefully will honour mine first since they have had STDs all this time. If not then it is unfortunate but I know the people who really care about me and OH will be there.

Its a shame if she has done it on purpose as I would have liked us to be at each others' weddings. But I have heard of things like this before, so I suppose weddings can often bring out the worst in friends and family! I feel quite philosophical about it now, and I suppose if the venue was her one and only dream place, not available for the next 3 years except this one weekend, type of situation then I suppose it is understandable. But I know this certainly hasn't made me feel closer to her or as if I can trust her ever again!

I agree with Pompey Em and jules40.

I feel that she is trying to steal your thunder. Get your STD and invites out asap

I'd be annoyed, and I know I would because the other week, my aunt put as her Facebook status 'put 28th April in your diaries' (my wedding is 26th) and I was fuming thinking it was her wedding as she's engaged. Turns out it's her 30th birthday party but she's still making a massive fuss about it and it's still narked me off, and it's not even her wedding!! So I totally sympathise, if anything you have more reason to be annoyed than I do!

Get those STD cards out now hun

I would be fuming i know that

x

Haha people are unreal!

I am going to wait and see if she says anything. Prob will hang back sending her an invite though...

They have been out since our engagement party back in Feb!

Maybe my 'friend' is just a nutter desperate to beat me down the aisle?!

If this is the case then i would have thought she would have called you to explain that she's had to book the same weekend as you for x reason, rather than wait for you to work it out yourself. But instead she's not even told you her date directly. I would say this means she has either genuinely forgotten or knows full well and has no reasonable way to justify it. Maybe she's not publicly announcing it so that when it does come out she can act all surprised that it's the same weekend but say it's been planned for ages and can't be changed now.

I would be pretty annoyed too.

I'd be annoyed. Mainly down to the fact that, as you say, guests are going to have to commit an awful lot of time and money to attend both weddings.

I'd think it was odd that a friend of mine wouldn't think of this, especially as the weddings are a large distance away from one another.

Do you have many 'mutual friends'?

It may be not a problem if you've only got a few people that might be going to both weddings; obviously your family is the key thing so if none of your close family are likely to be invited to hers (and vice versa) then I really wouldn't stress too much about it.

I have just had a reply from the girl in response to my message from the other day (which was before I had seen her 265 days comment and was saying how exciting about her getting the dress, saying mine is only 8 months and a bit away, and had happened to mention the STD and our party ages ago... as well as asking if she has set the date) - she has blatantly avoided the date question and not really gone into any details so I don't know what to make of it.

Clearly if she had read my previous message she is aware it is the same weekend and just isn't saying. I also mentioned something about my health that has happened recently, which I haven't told her (currently not allowed to exercise so may postpone my dress fitting) and she didn't even bother to ask why. So I guess that is at least 2 spaces freed up for other guests!

No there is no way I am doing this, just going to continue with my own plans and at our pace and trust that our other guests will be able to juggle things so they can attend both. And if they can't it will be a shame but not the end of the world!

Well done im glad you are sticking to your guns and doing it as you were originally. sounds to me like shes playing games, i doubt she has it booked really? if she is this insecure will the wedding still go ahead if the groom to be doesnt finish it with her because of her behaviour. and definitely dont tell her any of your plans in case she copies you with anything else!