Uninvited Plus Ones

I’m worried about this happening to us in a very similar circumstance. I think what we have decided to do is to invite her on one invitation and to invite him and the kids on an evening invite only. Obviously too late for you to do that.

He was wrong to assume and I think it is ok to go back to him. If you feel you’re able I would probably give him a call and just explain you’re really restricted on numbers and therefore only able to have your closest friends - but that you’d be delighted if she could come for the evening. I don’t know how that works logistically for them but perhaps she’ll enjoy doing something locally and then have a fun evening with her partner?

I had a friend who had read our ‘no kids’ on the save the date then when we met she started talking as if the kids were there. I reminded her and she was a bit embarrassed she had forgotten. I think it can just be an innocent mistake - but it’s difficult to manage and I wish people would be more careful!

That’s a tricky one! It was a bit cheeky of him just to stick her name in the reply bit without running it by you first. On the other hand, I’m a firm believer that weddings aren’t all about the bride and groom and are actually about our guests having a nice time too so I would always invite partners as I wouldn’t want any of my guests sitting there miserable without their other half there.

Ask you mum/ MOH or whoever is most assertive to phone him and say they are sorting out all the numbers for you and have noticed the discrepancy on his response. Explain the invite is just for him and ask if he is still able to come.

Job sorted!

This is tricky, and everyone has their own opinion. I do think he was cheeky and possibly a bit rude in how he's handled the response, he should have reached out to you first.

That said, they have been together for a year so to me, that's not a fling and I personally would have included his girlfriend in the invites. One of my H2B's friend's I've only met once, but he's been with his girlfriend for 2 years and although neither of us have met her we've still included her on the invitation. H2B has guests that I've never met, so this didn't seem like a big compromise.

I think you should decide if you're happy to have your friend's girlfriend attend all day, and then talk to your friend about how he handled the RSVP card.

Im sorry but anyone in a real relationship get invite with their partner that's just simple good manners

how well you know their partner isn't important, they are celebrating and supporting your relationship (regardless of how close they are to your partner) and you cant simultaneously then disrespect them by saying their partner/relationship doesn't matter as much

Well said Alisha B!

I have a fair few friends invited without partners. Work colleagues bar two are their invite only which is usually how we do it among each others weddings. My antenatal group jfriends I have invited the girls only aswell as if I invited their partners that would be an extra 5 and plus their kids would be an extra 9! I just can’t afford that nor does the venue hold that many extra. I don’t really know the partners that well either. They will be 5 girls together having a good night out hopefully.

Hi,

I have a similar problems with h2b neice she wants her boyfriend at our wedding only been with him a couple of months. We said no , she actually said he's coming, my H2b said if he turned up he will have no place and how rude. It's our wedding and we will invite who we want the invitation was to her and her 2 kids. Yes it has caused problems. We only want people who meant something to us hence only having 20 guests, she and her mum have caused problems but my H2b has said no it's our day if you don't like it don't come.

Stick to your guns and best of luck