UPDATE AGAIN, INLAWS

Glad to hear you are close to sorting this out - like yo need any more stress when planning a wedding! It's amazing the stories we hear about peoples families on here!

Hope everything gets better soon!

Good to see you got it all sorted, and TBH I think you went about it the right way - talking directly to the sisters.

Good luck speaking to MIL2B though!! Think you might need it!

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Nightmare, definatley the right thing to talk to the sisters direct. Hope you manage to sort out the MIL, maybe the sisters will talk to her too which should help.

Nightmare mil2b!

the poor sil2b's will give her short shrift now hopefully on your behalf.

What a stupid moo of a woman she is. lol

glad its sorted though even if it had to get worse before better.

Youre a lot more patient than i am as id have told her to go ahead and not bother coming lol but then im quite impaient with people like that

Glad you getting it sorted x

WOW - glad this is nearly sorted!

I can't belive mil2b is acting like a child!!!
Good luck when you speak with her x

Crumbs - it sounds like its getting resolved! I kinda wondered if your SIL2B's knew about all this - thank go they are being reasonable.

Watch out for the old 'I'm not coming to the wedding' stance - I had this a couple of time with my mum - we were going to give my cousin the option of bringing her 18 mth year old baby - she said if the baby didn't come she wouldn't come (hel-lo??!!), we wanted lamb she said no, and then she said if we have a piper she's not coming - that was the final straw - we're getting married in Scotland FFS! I told her not to bother coming then as we're having a piper!!!It brewed into a full on arguement but we resolved it and of course she is coming. And we have been more honest with each other as a result of the arguement.

I have found that the 'i'm not coming' card is pulled out to try and get their own way. Don't give in - she will still come once the dust has settled.....

The situation is actually a bit better, the sil2b's have been really supportive, actually telling their mum to but out and that its not her wedding (what my h2b should have done ages ago). h2b's mum has apoligised to my h2b (obvoiusly not me).

my h2b says that his relationship with his mother will never be the same again after the way she had treated us but is glad its all over.

I think the trick is just to ignore her threats not to come and stay calm. There's a long time between now and the wedding and if she sees that her playing the "I'm not coming" card gets any reaction at all then she will keep playing it until she manages to use it to get her own way. Personally I'd wait for to raise the issue again and when she does I'd just (very calmly!) explain that you have spoken to your SIL2Bs and they are happy with the situation. If she then says she isn't coming I'd just stay very calm and say something like "Well we hope you change your mind because we'd like you to be there, but at the end of the day it's up to you" And at the end of the day it is up to her. If she chooses not to some then that is her choice and personally I wouldn't jump through hoops to get her there.

In your other post you mentioned MIL paying towards the wedding and TBH I think maybe you should work out a budget that doesn't include a contribution from her. I personally feel that if she is paying towards the wedding she has *some* right to have a say in how that money is spent. If that is going to be difficult then I think you shouldn't make plans that rely on her giving you the money and you spending it how you like. I don't think it's fair just to say that she doesn't gt a right to any say in how the money is spent unless she has also agreed to that (and in any case even if you and your H say that, unless she has agreed to it your words mean nothing) so I think maybe you need to weigh up whether the amount of money you will get from her is worth the hassle of dealing with her and the compromises you might have to make in order to have that money.

In your other post you mentioned MIL paying towards the wedding and TBH I think maybe you should work out a budget that doesn't include a contribution from her. I personally feel that if she is paying towards the wedding she has *some* right to have a say in how that money is spent. If that is going to be difficult then I think you shouldn't make plans that rely on her giving you the money and you spending it how you like. I don't think it's fair just to say that she doesn't gt a right to any say in how the money is spent unless she has also agreed to that (and in any case even if you and your H say that, unless she has agreed to it your words mean nothing) so I think maybe you need to weigh up whether the amount of money you will get from her is worth the hassle of dealing with her and the compromises you might have to make in order to have that money.

we have decided not to accept any money she offers as we do not want to be put in this situation by her again. by refusing the money she will have absolutely no control.

Im glad this is getting sorted out. You really dont need the added stress when you are planning a wedding.

I'm pleased that you've had a good outcome , at least your sil2b's have some sense.