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RusticBride15
Beginner June 2015

Upgrading guests :S

RusticBride15, 15 April, 2015 at 12:37 Posted on Planning 0 12

So we'v had two day guest who had initially said they were coming now say there not coming and were looking to "upgrade" two evening guests to all day.. but im not sure how to go about it obviously they will be aware that they have been a second choice and i hate the thought of that. Have any of you brides been in a similar situation? How did you go about asking the other guests?

❤️

12 replies

Latest activity by Kamila27, 21 April, 2015 at 14:08
  • A
    Beginner April 2015
    AprilBride15 ·
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    We just said, we'd had been talking about it and we'd changed our minds and would really like them to be there for the whole day - bit of a white lie but they were happy enough with that and said yes straight away!

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  • Calella
    Beginner August 2016
    Calella ·
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    I've been an upgraded guest before, and to be honest, I didn't mind!

    I was just happy that I got the chance to be there on their special day, regardless of if I was first, second or third choice!

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  • MrsShep
    Beginner September 2014
    MrsShep ·
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    We did. I was a bit worried about it too but they were all really pleased to be asked. Ours were work friends, we just told them straight that we hadn't had the space to invite them all so we'd decided work people would get evening invites, but that we'd had a couple of people say no and we now had the space so we'd love them to join us.

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  • I-go-by-many-names
    Super April 2015
    I-go-by-many-names ·
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    We did this, I am known for being a bit blunt sometimes but I was just honest with them and said that someone wasn't coming so did the want to come for the day and they were delighted.

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  • AuntieBJ
    Beginner September 2014
    AuntieBJ ·
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    I would feel honoured and excited to be bumped up. I'd take it as a compliment that we were first choice to be bumped and probably wouldn't consider myself as second choice at all.

    Just be honest. Everyone understands the constraints that budget and venue number limitations put on the bride and groom.

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  • M
    Beginner September 2015
    Milly_Bride ·
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    I think most people get that not everyone can be invited to the ceremony/wedding breakfast for loads of reason - space, cost etc. Just saying 'hey we always wanted to invite you for the whole day but space/whatever wouldn't allow, now some people can't make it so we'd love it if you could be there' will probably be fine.

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  • J
    Beginner April 2013
    JanetJones ·
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    Yes. We said "Would you like to come for the whole day? We would really love you to see us actually get married'.

    There was a bit of quick amending to the table plan, and nobody was any the wiser.

    They had a great time.

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  • HelenSomerset
    Beginner September 2014
    HelenSomerset ·
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    I would be honest with them as to the reason, but say you are really pleased some people you felt you had to invite have dropped out, which leaves space for more people you really wanted to invite but couldn't due to numbers - them!

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  • Daisy Bell
    Beginner August 2015
    Daisy Bell ·
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    The way I see it they already know they're not first choice because they weren't invited to the whole day. By bumping them up all you're saying is they're the first choice of the second choice, which is a positive thing. I'd be delighted!

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  • AKWedding
    Beginner August 2015
    AKWedding ·
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    We are not having evening guests as such due to our late start however our ceremony room couldn't hold everyone we invited so we have had to ask some people to arrive immediately after the ceremony. As it turns out, we have had some declines including extended family.

    I would just say a little white lie, and say that Great Aunt this or Great Uncle that couldn't make it after all so that leaves more spaces available, and that you would love them to join you for the day as well.

    Most people wouldn't be miffed if you had to prioritise family members first.

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  • M
    Beginner August 2015
    MrsFitt2B ·
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    We were bumped from evening guests to all days guests at a wedding a couple of weeks ago. We were thrilled to be asked and because the wedding was in Wales we were able to make a whole weekend of it. I don't think anyone would be miffed by being upgraded to an all day guest.

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  • Lui
    Beginner October 2015
    Lui ·
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    I’ve recently moved a close friend from the evening to the day. We couldn’t fit them in the day even thought I wanted to due to our families being massive and taking up all but the wedding party places. Sadly my granddad now can’t make it so I spoke to my friend explained the situation and just said that we would love her to be with us in the day as she would have been there if we had space previously.

    She was thrilled, now just have to change her invite information to day info now. Most people are understanding as they understand families are large and cost is a factor.

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  • Kamila27
    Beginner April 2016
    Kamila27 ·
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    I remember the story my parents told me. They went to congratulate the new couple after the ceremony ('ceremony first, party after' style) and the groom and bride told them, very frankly, that it happens they have a 'last minute' space as some people cancelled and since they don't want the food to waste they asked them if they would like to join.

    It was very frank and honest and my mum just quickly rush home to change (women! Smiley winking ) and they had a great time. Everybody was happy.

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