V Bad hitcher alert...sorry...long explanation

Ooo debs, not sure what or how to reply to your post but hope you manage to sort all those problems out, must be so stressful for you at the moment.

I had noticed you not around so much as like me you seem to appear later on in the evening lol

No wonder you have been MIA

x

Sounds like you have enuff on your plate, I really wouldnt worry about your absence....... besides, you HAVE been contributing..... ) have a hug too, xx

Thanks for taking the time to reply girls ?

Twf - stress would be one word for it lol, thinking about taking tomorrow today off work to try and get a decent sleep.

Nona, I should be replying more though, not just wee quickie things ☹️, I do find hitched theraputic though, have to say, its helping take my mind off things tonight ? - how's things going with you, have lost track!

Sorry to hear this Debs - with regard to the shop rates, was it empty for a while before the new owners took over? Reason I ask is if the shop is a listed building, I don't think rates are payable if the shop is empty. I know this used to be the case as the shop I had years ago which I sold was empty for a while before the new owner took over and turned it into a hairdressing salon.

Because it was a listed building, I didn't have to continue paying the business rates until he moved in. Had it not been a listed building, I would have had to continue paying. The rules may have changed now as this was in the nineties but if this is the case for you, it's worth a try. Brenda x

how's things going with you, have lost track!

things are fine thanks.... ticking along really. Its still not sunk in that i'm getting married though....a few things still to organise/buy but we'll get there. ta for asking xx

Blimey Debs, you sound like you really have it rough at the moment.

The wedding is still on though is it?

x

Brenda if the shop was empty for a while it probably wouldn't of been that long, a few weeks maybe and it's not a listed building either. I had left in Feb 07 and started my new job in May 07 so we had a manager run it for a while so really can't remember when it was sold.

I honestly thought that when you are buying or selling somewhere that the rates got sorted by the solicitor before the sale went ahead IYKWIM.

Ooh la la, the wedding is still on, although with the way things have been going I have felt like calling the whole thing off a couple of times as it's just if anything needs done I HAVE to do it myself or it won't get done....even a letter for the former manager to sign to say when he finsihed working at the shop, something that would only take few seconds "waited" until I had the time to do it ?

Right. I CAN help you sort this stuff out. And sorting it out is exactly what you need to be doing, rather than thinking about 'wedding things' to try and take your mind off it!

Problem 1. This is my specific area of expertise. You MUST take action now. Your OH is being an ostrich, and YOU need to become involved. There is a very good chance that you can keep your home (especially if OH CAN affford the mortgage, as you say). Failing to take action is likely to be a very expensive mistake - as well as leaving you homeless.

Ask him to show you all of the paperwork. Has it actually been to court or is this just threatened? Has a possession order been made in court? Has an eviciton date been set (i.e. possession order has been made by court and expired?) Either way - it is never too late (until after the actual eviciton - i.e. the day the bailiffs change the locks). Take all of the paperwork to your local Citizen's Advice Bureau - PLEASE! Go with your H2b, and make sure that you are informed and involved in understanding and exploring the options avaialable to you - rather than trusting him to make this very important decision on his own. I really think it is important for you to become involved and take some responsibility - and doing so means that your H2B cannot let you down again in this way (which he HAS done - hence him trying to hide it from you, and not encouraging you to be involved in addressing the issue now).

You would not believe the number of women I see who appear in court having known NOTHING about mortgage arrears until the actual eviction date is imminant (some are even given an hours reprieve and directed to the court to seek a suspension by the bailiffs on the eviction day). If these women have known there have been mortgage arrears, then they have very often trusted their partners assertions that they are 'sorting it out' - Big Mistake. Most of them end up in court on their own - it seems to me that men who cant face up to asking their partners to help them resolve problems like this tend to be the kind who bugger off completely at the last minute. Get involved. Sort this out together. It is almost certainly resolvable if your partner pulls his head out of the sand and you find out what your options actually are!

Problem 2 sounds like it is well on its way to being resolved.

Problem 3 - again, your H2B must take advice - and you must make sure you are informed and involved in the process as well. It WILL affect you, as your home will be at stake in bankruptcy. It is extremely unlikley that he should be conisdered liable for business rates after the business was sold. Contact the LA, providing evidence of when the shop was sold, and asking for a revised balance of the debt. You should then be able to negotiate an affordable repayment plan - help can be given again by you local CAB, or by https://www.businessdebtline.org/

Good luck!

Milna, thank you so much for your input ?

I have tried talking to him and asking him to show me what is happening to his money (when I said that he could afford to pay the mortgage we were given notice to get out of the house in 28 days but that was back in Jan/Feb time), I haven't honestly seen anything else coming from the mortgage company or court. Its costing £1400 per month (and that's epensive over here) and we both feel that is a bit much.

My h2b is one of these people who DOES bury their heads in the hope that things will blow over and I have explained time and time again that this is not the way the world works and it has fallen on deaf ears which is why I am still looking for somewhere else to live, he should of said something before instead of letting it get this far.

I just feel that I am at the end of my tether, if I don't try and sort this out then that's our 12 yr relationship gone and I'm (obviosuly) not one just to give up.

Hi Debs! I'm sorry i don't have any advice, but didn't want to read and run! Just wanted to say hi, nice to see you back again ?