Venue Envy

Imagine what it's like to be a photographer seeing and shooting in awesome venues. I already have a twenty long list of amazing venues I LOVE and will probably never be able to afford! I just added Birtsmorton court to that list this week

Lol that's true!!! Actually being at all those venues would be tough as I would picture my wedding at each and everyone of the. And then want to get married again and again (to the same man obviously, well unless Robbin decided to divorce his beautiful wife for me lol!!)

our tog was one of the people that set me off actually, as when I told him where he looked disappointed and said "oh, I've never been there" and he is local so I started worrying me then, when I look on his site he has loads and loads at the usual stunning venues near us, so I just comfort myself that we are being different plus giving him a change of scenery for the day lol xx

Don't get me wrong I look at other people's venues and think they're lovely but never once have I thought "I wish that was my venue". I loved my venue from the moment I came across it online and loved it even more in real life - nothing compares to it for me!

Oooooohhhhh soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad it's not just me lol!!! Thought I was at risk of turning green by the time our day came round lol xx

Hmmmm, well we specifically chose what would be considered a mediocre venue by some people (and maybe 'lovely' by some too!).

We were very well aware that some much more picturesque places were available for more or less the same price in our county (Abbeys, Stately Homes/Halls type).

We rejected those other venues because:

(a) The location of the place, and access to a good-but-affordable hotel for guests was paramount.

(b) We wanted a bit more of a low key venue, thinking that it might lead to a more relaxed atmosphere????

(c) We also wanted a smaller venue. We have been to weddings at big country mansions before, and found that the wedding party split itself up into lots of rooms and several garden areas. We liked the idea of the group being 'contained' a bit more, thinking this might create a bit more of a party atmosphere????

So, we had REASONS for choosing the venue we did. I'm sure you did too, referring to your work issues. BUT, yes, sometimes we wonder if it was the right decision - particularly when you see really beautiful photos on here taken in the grounds of some magnificent building!!!

But, I don't think myself and the OH ever really think we would like a flashier venue for ourselves, as our original reasoning still applies. It's more that we sometimes wonder whether some of the guests might be-moan the mediocrity of the venue, and think quietly to themselves that our venue wasn't 'flash' enough.

Whenever I have that thought though, I have had to remind myself that actually the more 'fun' and relaxed weddings I've been to have been at what would also be called 'mediocre' venues. I've been to weddings in ballrooms, and weddings in country mansions and noticed the lack of atmosphere at these. And then I go full circle, having remembered the reasons for our choice, and then start to be very pleased about our choice again!

Yup. I've had a bit of venue envy too...... actually I really appreciate this thread as it is a good reminder that there's more to a wedding than the photos at the end. We had to compromise on the stunning country estates and big posh hotels for the sake of our budget, but the venue is known to many of our guests and famous for hosting incredible functions so hopefully our guests will remember our wedding for feeling relaxed and having fun and great food rather than the clubhouse look of the venue. I'm sure we'll still get some lovely pics. I've been to country manor weddings and just felt so uncomfortable I couldn't relax. I was out-poshed by the venue!

I love any venue, seriously it doesn't matter where you get married, big country house or the village hall as long as you get married and are happy with what you have. I have shot at some stunning venues before now, every wedding has been special but there are still a few more venues I would love to shoot at. Had a few enquiries this week from couples and the venues they are getting married at I have never heard of and they are just out of this world?

"I've been to country manor weddings and just felt so uncomfortable I couldn't relax. I was out-poshed by the venue"

Yep The Ritz did that to me too, now when ever I get an enquiry for it I pass it on to the London photographers, too much hassle driving to even though they give you a private parking slot its still a hassle I can do with out, give me a local barn wedding or some thing unusual any time.

I have Vegas envy as that's what I really wanted to do but we just couldn't afford it. I never venture into the abroad weddings section for that reason!

I didn't get venue envy per se but there are venues i LOVED and strongly considered. seriously follow the links- these venues are GORGEOUS!!

i desperately wanted great fosters when we first started planning but as planning moved on it just wasn't it: https://alexanderhotels.co.uk/great-fosters/Weddings/

i loved the elvetham but my cousin wed there: https://www.elvethamhotel.co.uk/weddings.aspx#

i've adored pennyhill park for years and we ended up spending our first night there: http://www.pennyhillpark.co.uk/EXCLUSIVE_HOTELS/weddings_and_ceremonies.aspx

i LOVE the library at oakley hall but ultimately it was only the library i loved: https://www.oakleyhall-park.com/weddings.php

i liked the building at northbrook but some areas were quite dirty (the marquee sheeting in the reception room for example) and it just wasn't 'it': https://www.northbrookpark.co.uk/

mr winter was keen on rivervale but it was a bit too modern for me and over 20 couples we know have wed there: https://rivervale-barn-weddings.co.uk/

BUT through it all we kept coming back to loseley. we both wanted a barn and i wanted a stately home so loseley was the best of both worlds, it suited our decor choices and it made me cry. it was and forever will be the best choice for our wedding. i fall hopelessly in lust with other venues such as the ones above but my venue was MY venue. they even delayed building work to suit our date! it was perfect: https://www.loseleypark.co.uk/wedding/

see why it was so perfect here: https://www.hitched.co.uk/chat/forums/t/433940.aspx

Tbh I've been to weddings at really expensive lavish venues and not had as much fun as at more basic venues. The trouble with some of these big expensive venues is it's too spread out I'd rather have people all together having a good time.

Marianne I went to a wedding at Birtsmorton Court, it was a bit naff because there was no where to stay and food was average.

That's exactly what I said! I'm glad it's not just me!

If you have 300 people, I'm sure it's fine. But the last stately home type wedding I went to, there were maybe 100-120 people, and I remember typically finding myself in a room with about 10 people, or in the garden with 10 people. I missed the cutting of the cake as it was going on in some other room and I didn't hear that dude with the red coat (what's the name again....erm...) announce anything.

I'm getting married at a Holiday Inn and while me and OH are happy with our choice of venue I feel like other people are trying to 'venue shame' us. A work colleague is getting married three months before me and every time I mention my venue she mentions that she's picked hers because of the gardens, the building itself and the grand staircase she'll be walking down when she makes her entrance. This has not gone unnoticed by others so it's not just me. Another colleague helpfully told me she would've slashed the guest list in order to have a better venue!! I wasn't complaining about my choice of venue or about my guest list, I'm happy with both but it seems others can't understand it. oh well.

Thanks guys it always helps to know you're not alone, and I think most of you got what I was saying.

i totally agree with the whole relaxed feel vs stately home types. I never get to feel like I can be "me" when I've been to those weddings and me and oh more than anything want to be able to relax with our guests and have a laugh etc. don't get me wrong, our venue is the right price in the right location and has some gorgeous points, but I think maybe it's less venue envy than feeling it's everyone else that's going to be disappointed. But then if we do manage to have the relaxed fun day we want they won't care will they.

i think I was suffering from a bit of the "keeping up with the jones" (always makes me smile as that's my best friends maiden name lol) but the more I think of it. The less wedding suppliers that have heard of my venue, the more "unique" it is lol :-) xx

I totally get this, especially because I know that OH would really have liked a more historic venue, having grown up trailing around National Trust houses. However, as various people have said, there are good reasons why we chose our venue, and yes cost was one of them, but we'll also be having a day that's all about us in venues that mean something and that's the important thing to keep remembering every time I see a gorgeous venue flash on here!

Totally! i always wanted the castle wedding, but most of OHs family don't drive so made it quite a lot more difficult... there is one just down the road from our venue, but you have to pay £75 a head for a meal comapred to the £30 something we're paying now plus other tie ins you can't escape and when it came down to it, we couldn't justify the extra expense just for the beautiful scenery! we looked at a couple of manor houses and one had so many rooms, i could picture where each family group would be - seperately! so our venue's not exactly what we had in mind, but we love it, and everyone who's been to a wedding there has said how nice it is, but everytime i see a beautiful photo with a castle in i get a little envious! Think its completely normal.