Vibes needed (poss sens?) UPDATED

I remember this from when you posted before - incredibly brave of you (and of her) to go through with it and I really hope that it all goes ok

Gosh how frightening for you all. Loads of vibes coming your way

Thank you for your replies, it really is appreciated ?

Sending your friend lots of vibes that you get the verdict you need xx

Well done to your friend - and to you - for having the guts and determination to go through what must be a thoroughly nasty experience. Sending vibes that justice is done .....

Thank you ?

Hope that the loser ends up behind bars where he belongs and that your friend can start her life again

Update in OP

Oh no Allegra, how awful.

Oh how awful, do you know the grounds on which he was found not guilty? x

Thanks for the replies, we don't know why he was found not guilty and she's been put into a women's refuge until it's safe for her to be living alone again, no-one knows where it is which is good so hopefully he wont find her.

We're going to look at flats today, my husband wont let me go out on my own at the moment as we live in the same town he's in so we're moving to another town, not too far away for far enough that I'll be able to go to the supermarket by myself without thinking I'll run into him.

We're in Kent.

Hi there

I'm so sorry that you and your friend have been so let down. Just because the trial is over, doesn't mean that all of the helping agencies disappear. I'm not sure where abouts in the country you are, as it happens my job means that I have quite a lot to do with domestic abuse - there are support groups (some are peer led which most women find the best), floating support can help with any housing related issues, training such as "Freedom" to rebuild self esteem, and handypersons services that can look at her home and help to make it safer e.g. changing to stronger doors (not locks necessarily), distress alarms etc. You can find out about these services from your local council.

If you are lucky enough to have any Independent Domestic Violence Advocacy workers (IDVAs) they can also help with any issues around contact with children etc. In terms of refuges, if needed there are a national network of these which she can access in an emergency - the national Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247 can help to coordinate this. The arangements are reciprocal, that is to say she doens't have to live near one to get in it (unlike housing and "local connection" in fact it's better if she is further away, for her own safety and tahthof the other families living there.

PM if you need me.

Thats awful. Hope things settle down fairly quickly.

Gosh how awful. If there is anything I might be able to do please give me a shout, I dont know what part of Kent you are in but Im in Ashford x

YHM

I'm quite new to O/T - normally lurk elsewhere on Hitched ... but read this and just wanted to say to the OP I think you and your friend are incredibly strong people to have gone thru' with this, and I'm just sorry it didn't go the right way for you. Its awful to think one man can create such upheaval and worry for another human being.

Some great advice on here tho' already, and hopefully you'll both get the support you need.

Mrs SP

Am also fairly new to OP, am sorry that he was found not guilty. I see a lot of domestic violence in my job and it makes me so angry when the offenders get away with it.

One thing your friend could do is to get an injunction against him. Unlike a restraining order it doesn't need to come off the back of a conviction, as it's a piece of civil litigation. It would prevent him from approaching or contacting her at all, and the best thing is that it comes with an immediate power of arrest, so he wouldn't need to assault her again to get arrested, just trying to speak to her would be enough. He wouldn't go to prison for years or anything like that, but it would be enough just to show him he can't get away with harrassing her.

Any solicitor would be able to advise your friend on this.

HTH

I'm sorry for the delay, it's been quite hectic the last few days! Thank you all so much for your responses and to the person that mailed me, I'm sorry, I didn't get it for some reason?

Thank you all for your support, I have shown this thread to my friend and it really means a lot to her.

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