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Beginner July 2016

Vicar Visit

laurafish, 26 May, 2015 at 17:05 Posted on Planning 0 6

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Hey everyone,

I know this topic has been posted about plenty of times but I couldn't find a post that was very recent and didn't want to pull a thread up from years ago!

Our vicar is coming to visit on Thursday evening and I just wanted some experiences from you guys on what to expect.

For some context, wedding is next July so I'm not expecting it to be a meeting where we confirm much.

The old vicar at our church left a month or so ago and I left a message with the new one just to introduce myself, make sure everything was still in place and to see what and when the next steps would be. He then suggested meeting and offered to come to me as I have some health issues that make me a little bit housebound.

I have read a few threads where people go to the church and get given a form to fill in - not sure if I should be expecting something a bit different if he is coming specifically to us rather than having a dedicated open evening or something.

I have personal ties to our church but have to admit that we are not regular church-goers, so we haven't met this vicar before although we did the previous one.

Just not sure what I should have prepared or anything like that, especially with us being so far in advance? I know we will have meetings closer to the time to confirm specifics like witnesses, hymns etc but I'm not expecting that to be done at this point - is that right?

Thanks!

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6 replies

Latest activity by laurafish, 30 May, 2015 at 11:04

Beginner September 2016
lpcr · 26 May, 2015 at 17:11
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Hi I'm getting married in a church sept 16 and have met/booked church already.
I'm the same as you ties to church when younger but not so much now.

In relation to the vicar they come out to meet you both and get some details from you including parents etc. what time u want to get married etc, we had a general Chat about normal things too!
we have paid a small deposit to secure the date and the vicar said we don't need to do anything until next year now
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Paula @ Ollievision · 26 May, 2015 at 17:11
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It's likely to be about getting to know you, general chit-chat about how you met, your lives, attitudes to church etc.

Think of it as a two way conversation... where was he before? How long has he been a vicar? What made him want to be a vicar? After he's been make an effort to attend the church within a month for a service.
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Beginner June 2015
Scottish_Sarah · 26 May, 2015 at 20:09
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As said just have a normal conversation, the new vicar may outline the rules of the church - they are different depending on the denomination of church - many CoE have a rule about attending at least once a month 6 months before they may also go over some general stuff.
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Beginner July 2015
sarahl2691 · 26 May, 2015 at 20:28
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I was pretty nervous when we went for our first meeting. It wasnt as bad as i thought! It was just a general chit chat to get to know us, He asked how we met and what we did as jobs. He started filling out what would go on the marriage certificate such as full names and addresses
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Beginner August 2016
Mrs-Riley · 27 May, 2015 at 10:02
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We have had a couple of meetings with our rector - we're having a traditional Anglican wedding.

The first was used to express our interest to get married, and introduce ourselves - as we have moved to the area and have only just started attending the church. We also had to (technically) ask permission to get married in the church, as it is not our parish church. We got a sense of each other and he told us to come back in a couple of months, when we had a better idea of when we'd like to get married.

Our second appointment was to book a date in his diary and a time (we don't have to put a deposit down on ours - payment isn't expected until the rehearsal a couple of days before the big day) and for him to re-affirm that we have the belief, basically. He also made she we were on the churches electoral register - as it isn't our parish church - so that no one can object to us getting married there - although we will have to attend our bans being read in our parish church as well as the church we're getting married in.

The meetings can also ascertain how much the rector/vicar wants to see your face in church. Our rector knows we are not devout (he's fine with it) but says he expects to see us every month at least.

You've probably gone through this already with your previous vicar, but he may want to re-establish all this information with you, and just get to know you as a couple.
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Beginner July 2016
laurafish · 27 May, 2015 at 11:58
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Thanks guys, much appreciated It's as I expected to be honest, I just can't help feeling a bit nervous anyway!
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Beginner July 2016
laurafish · 30 May, 2015 at 11:04
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Just wanted to update in case anyone had similar questions to me:

It went well, very relaxed. We filled in the form to confirm our details and the details of the wedding. Just chatted really, we asked a few questions and discussed timelines. But really he didn't ask us any specifics aside from the stuff on the form - I was worried he was going to be a bit annoyed that we don't go to church regularly or something like that. He said we still start organising around next February or so, but we are free to contact him with any questions before that. That was reassuring.

We also found out two things that were really great news - we are allowed confetti! We were worried because there is another wedding booked pretty much straight after ours and so I wasn't sure if we would be allowed to leave confetti on the floor. I'm pleased about that as we're not allowed it at the reception venue.

Also he said that he likes to have 4 witnesses. This was great news as all the searching I've done online has said that there are only 2 spaces and that's what you're limited to. He said that yes there are 2 boxes but there is certainly space and he prefers to have 4 - the more the merrier! I'm so pleased about that as there were a couple of people I really wanted to ask and I knew they wouldn't want to do readings or anything like that, so I'm so glad we can do that now

All in all it was helpful, and definitely put me at ease. As mentioned we hadn't met him before so we were pleased that he seems like a lovely vicar
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