vows. Traditional or writting your own?

Are you getting married in church or having a civil ceremony? Both will be constrained in the vows you are allowed to say. There may also be 'contracting words' you have to say, even if you wish to add on other vows too.

We're doing traditional except for the "obey" bit. I refuse to say that. The idea of writing our own vows is lovely but in practice I would be awful at it. Plus I'm probably going to bawl all the way through the service and if he used his own words I would have a complete breakdown!!

Sorry should have said it is a church wedding.

We went traditional. I have to say that I think writing your own vows is cheesy. Just my opinion before anyone starts getting defensive!

We had the traditional vows without the obey bit.

This is a very good point, didnt even think about the crying part!

lol I agree! I also dont have a slushy bone in my body, so would probably have to steal something from the internet!

Our vicar wasnt keen on us changing ours anyway, have you checked you could write your own? And as someone else said there are certain things that you have to say.

This is also what we're doing.

In a church I don't think you will be allowed to write your own vows. Or if you are they will have to be said separately and probably after the set of vows that are said in a religious ceremony. Personally I don't like personal vows. I think its wonderful and romantic that we are making the same vows as our parents and grandparents did in the past.

We are having civil, so saying the legal bits then adding a few of our own 'promises'. The reccommended ones were awful and uber cheesy.

We've written our own. It was something my oh wanted to do. We had to chose the declaration words from the set options but the exchange of rings we've done ourselves, sealed them in envelopes and sent them to the registrar so we don't know each others. I'm excited about it. I think its a personal touch on a service that can be a bit repeat after me. You shoul check with the person doing your service on their guidelines. And if you right your own make sure it sounds like you and not forced. I would suggest you Don't try to be funny either, its really not the moment.

We're planning on a bit of both - using the legal bits as a guideline and then adding/taking bits here and there (if we're allowed!) I know it's not part of the vows, but the one bit I hate the most is the "marriage is a union between one man and one woman" (because I don't believe it should be that, so I don't want to hear it), but I don't know if that can be changed. I dunno. We'll see!

Totally forgot about this! We sent our promises back but it didn't mention the ring exchange anywhere, just asked us if we were having rings but not what we would say duing the exchange. Maybe there is a standard phrase they will just give us to repeat.

I had a church wedding and used the traditional vows but the word obey wasn't even incuded. I preer the traditional vows.

Tbh, I don't think they offer to include "obey" any more unless the couple specifically ask for it (I know one who did!)