Wanting to change the guestlist AFTER save the dates have been sent out

To me, a save the date is just that, asking someone to keep the date free because you're getting married on that day. Doesn't say anything about which part of the day they're invited to, so I'd say it would be fine to just invite some guests to the evening only as they won't know. If anyone does mention it, just say you want as many people as possible to share your day, but only close family to the ceremony itself.

Hmmm. Tough one. I think though, that, as long as you invite them to the evening reception, it should be fine. If you were thinking about not inviting them at all, that'd be a different story.

However, if your half brother and his family were to be the only ones only being invited to the evening reception I don't think it's right. It would be weird if everyone but them were to attend the ceremony.

I'm glad you asked this cos I'm in the same predicament! I think it will be fine to just invite them to the evening and now I don't feel so bad about doing the same to some of our guests!

Save the dates are so people can reserve that date off work or cancel other plans, they should only really be sent to day guests... honestly its rude to then send out an 'actually we only want you for the night' after that, he and his family may of took your save the date as they are intended and already booked things that cost money (time of work, hotels, babysitters, travel etc...)

Thank you ladies! I'm so conflicted on what to do ? I did only send the save the dates to the day guests but 1 of 2 things will happen if i invite him. 1. He will either accept then not turn up (he does this for ALL family celebrations even birthdays) which would leave meals for the breakfast that we've paid for been useless or 2. He will turn up unkept which is not a look i want for the wedding as i feel he is there as a representation of myself and my family in front of my other halfs family (that sounds really vain but i in no way mean it to come across like that). He is also really close to our older half sister who i don't speak to (we fell out 5 years ago-loooooong story) and i think he will go telling her when and where the wedding is and i wouldn't put it past her to show up or try and ruin it in some way as she is that type of person. She is rotten to the core honestly ? I really don't want to spend the next 11 months worrying about my wedding being ruined! Thank you so much for all your replies ?

I am having arguments with family members about my wedding already, bearing in mind it's not happening until 2018, I'm very much going to ignore the people who tell me who to invite as much as possible. However once I've invited people I would struggle to then change it, maybe you could call him and clarify that his invitation will be evening only, if you only sent them out recently, and apologise that you sent the wrong information as your were sending so many? Just a thought to save hurt feelings?

A save the date means please don't book anything else please don't say yes to any other invites, we're inviting your to our wedding it'll be this date roughly this area bit were not 100% on plans yet so we will be in touch nearer the time with a full invite and details. Because light bulb moment your wedding isn't that important to people they will save it and not get invited. It's highly offensive to not send a invite after save the date. Unless. Plans change completely and you don't have that date /decide to elope to Vagas etc. Imagine how you would feel. Also what if people don't understand save the date and then turn up anyway thinking that's the invite and they just ask xyz the full plans thinking that's what you do anyway? And you can't host said guest. Do you really want to end your relationship forever?

I sent save the dates to guests who were only invited to the evening, as these days ( i guess it comes with getting older) people seem to need to know about events months and months in advance. Personally I really don't see anything wrong with that, I mean who decides all these etiquette rules anyway.

I think it would be perfectly reasonable now that you have sent your half brother the 'save the date', to then follow up with an evening invite. Chances are if you have a difficult relationship with him anyway he'll be more comfortable with only attending the evening reception, as there will be less time needed to be spent 'making nice' with everyone.

Thank you Ladies. Hearing everyones different opinions really helps. I've decided though that I think I'm just going to invite him to the evening (even if this isn't really the 'done' thing) as no one in the family gets on with him any way as he is a compulsive liar on top of everything else and I would really struggle to sit him with anybody for the wedding breakfast that would actually feel comfortable in his presence. I don't even have his phone number to contact him about anything. I had to ask him on facebook for his address as I had no idea where he lived to even send a save the date so that tells you how close we are. I should of just done what I wanted to do in the first place instead of listening to other family members. Lesson learned ?