Wedding invitation dilema??

Have you actually spoken to her, either face-to-face or on the phone, about what went on?

I would easily and happily decline

I would send a really polite reply, (either accepting or declining). If you decide not to go I would say something like I am sorry I can't make it. But though it was only fair to let her know as you know how annoying it is to not have a definite reply.

(that way you are not being petty but on the other hand subtly dropping into the conversation that you were a bit annoyed she never replied to your invitation)

You could go and be rude

not like in your face rude or nasty or anything like that but you know a little off on wedding etiquette i.e... wear something a 'little' inappropriate, moan about the food, sit and act a bit mardy/unimpressed/miserable, compare everything to your own wedding, maybe have a bit too much to drink etc...

and if you go you could drop into conversation what she 'missed' at your wedding (just little tiny snide comments that will make her realize she was rude without being nasty)

Have you actually spoken to her throughout any of this? Do you even know if she got your invite in the first place? I know you said you messaged her on Facebook but not everyone uses theirs often, so she might not have even seen the message.

It does sound a little odd hence why I am wondering whether she even got your invite. I don't think you should make her wait for your reply about hers (particularly if she may have never even received yours!) I think you should just decline outright, unless you do really want to go.

Either way, I think you should speak to her on the phone (not via any other means of communication or via anyone else) and say whether or not you're accepting and then perhaps gently enquire whether she got your invite or not and say how you would've loved her to be there. However I probably wouldn't even bother with this myself, I'm only suggesting this because of your post. I personally would just phone her and say I couldn't go for whatever reason. I wouldn't bother mentioning my wedding as its been and done with.

I also don't really understand the need to be rude back or whatever, for the sake of "revenge" over her rudeness. Remember why you got married in the first place - it wasn't for negative reasons. If you wanted to take the issue up with her, you should've done it nearer the time of your wedding, actually speaking to her to establish whether she was coming or not. Seems a bit unecessary dredging it up now for the sake of making her feel what you did. And it is rather childish. Not saying you would do that...

I would assume she knows shes invited

she has had messages, a save the date, an invite and family conversations about the wedding (more than Ive got for any of the 3 I was invited to, which was just being informed by family that we are expected to go)

she also would be very aware of the wedding... it doesn't sound like a tiny event no one knew about

I categorically wouldn't do what JJKCB has suggested, how petty. She didn't ruin your day by not attending so please don't ruin hers by attending and being spiteful.

If it was me I'd go. Just put it behind you and move on.

What Holey said. Going and ruining it would be the most ridiculous thing you could do (which I am certain never occurred to you). Even suggesting it seems odd to me.

If it was me i'd just completely ignore and not attend

Completely agree.

I definitely wouldn't go out my way to moan or be a pain in the bum on someone else's wedding day.

I'm by no means making excuses for her as it was rude not to reply and not to go but some people just don't realise how much work goes in to a wedding and that RSVPs are needed.

Thirded. Don't do any of those things, it'll only make yourself look silly and petty and not the bride. Rise above it, I just wouldn't attend at all.

Exactly what Holey and Pugsley said. Clearly if she's inviting you, she doesn't see the previous situation as rude as you did (not excusing it, but if she was trying to be rude she wouldn't waste the time inviting you to hers). also its your husband's cousin, does he have a view? If it were me I'd let my oh decide as its his family and would support what he wanted to do.

rise above it and rsvp one way or the other. Prior to arranging my own wedding I actually had no idea how important an rsvp was. I either sent one saying yes or if I wasn't going then assumed they knew by my silence that I wasn't. If I was chased I'd respond but I can't remember every actually being chased.

There is certainly no need to be spiteful about it and revenge will serve no purpose.

I'm actually a bit shocked someone would deliberately try to ruin someone else's wedding out of 'revenge' or suggest that someone else does.

It's like something out of Corrie ;-).

This is what I was wondering - there has been many a time that I have missed messages on Facebook - this is especially true if you aren't friends on FB? Also we had quite a few wedding invitations that got lost in the post, it isn't impossible that that could have happened.

if you are really offended then just don't go - but either way you should RSVP, rise above it and stay classy!

If you think any of the thing i said would ruin the day then ? and they where made as jokey suggestions as there is always someone who moans about something or dresses inappropriately at a wedding lol and I specifically said multiple times DONT be nasty or rude - think some people on here need to lighten up

also I think its way more pathetic not to go because she didn't go to yours.... how childish is that, its a family event, family are therefor expected to attend if invited - I would go as you havnt seen her in a long time or spoke to her as stated by the OP, the wedding isn't a time to have a long conversation about what upset you but if you drop very subtle hints especially if you get a moment alone then most decent people would contact you afterwards and you could sort it out at least for the sake of family relations

I personally wouldn't go... I would RSVP though and let her know.

way I see it (if I were in your shoes) she wasn't interested in my wedding so why should I all of a sudden take an interest in hers!

its not petty at all but I choose to only attend weddings of those I'm close to anyway and clearly she doesn't fall into that bracket!

if your hubby wants to go by all means he should but I personally wouldn't go with him.

I think the best thing would be to do what SunnyRedDiamonds44 has said xx

This! It wouldn't be very nice at all. Am sure you can remember how important your day was and just not replying to your invite was enough to cause you offence. Imagine if someone had turned up and complained, judged or put down any part of your day?

Your family, rise above it. Reply to the invite either way and move on.

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