Wedding nerves/confusion?

i feel like this ALL the time!!

am worried nobody will turn up, I will look ridiculous, trip over as i make my entrance and will fall arse over tit at the first dance.......apart from that im pretty chilled!!?

Frequently.

I hate being "centre of attention" and people looking at me at the best of times, so quite what I'll do with potentially upwards of 100+ there on the day I really don't know.

I guess I'll just have to try and block it all out and and concentrate on my b2b and the registrar, then I can relax as bit, but I don't really do 'socialising' or parties either so I'm not quite sure how the rest of the day is going to pan out.

I think everyone worries about a certain aspect of the day. I don't share your particular concerns (yet - have a long time to go yet), but I already worry about fluffing my lines and I'm also VERY worried about crying on the day and especially during the ceremony. I have a real aversion to crying in front of anyone who isn't my OH. I don't even like crying in front of my parents (and we are quite close) and will do everything I can to avoid it!

CB - you sound like such a grounded sensible B2b, and your relationship with MrCB sounds like a fantastic one on many levels.

I know what you mean about feeling like your "playing" at being a bride, and you know, I am happy with that. Afterall, i'm only going to be a bride for 1 day in my life and so really, all I am doing is pretending.

I had a moment during an episode of DTTB. I'd just been to try on my dress and had obviously left it in the store. I watched DTTB and saw her put on the dress and get married. It suddenly hit me, sugar, that's not just a dress, it means I am going to put it on and get married... Sounds so weird and obvious but I was in shock and despite me hardly ever drinking (and never ever during the week) I found myself having to go to the bar for a vodka for the shock!

Just remember, your great at whatever you put your mind too, and it's not being a bride you need to worry about, it's the wife bit!

It's completely natural, you will go through all kinds of emotions during the run up & planning. It is probably one of the biggest steps in your life. You sound like you have been working too hard.

I know what you mean about looking like a child dressing up!! I sometimes will be cooking the tea or something and i think its like im playing at being an adult when I am one!! Its a strange one to describe!!!

I get married in 11 days and I am starting to have worries now. My main concern is that I won't enjoy our day because it is in my nature to spend all my time thinking about everyone else and I have convinced myself that my day will be spent running around making sure everyone is happy/got what they need/enjoying themselves etc.

I sometimes feel a bit like monica in friends in the episode where they move into the boys apartment and she cleans it from top to bottom and when everyone turns up to enjoy it she curls up into a ball and goes to sleep.

Having spent the last 9 months hand making nearly everything myself and agonising over who is sitting where and what we will eat and drink, I keep imaging on the day I will make sure everyone else is satisfied and I will just flop and not get to enjoy any of my hard work myself!

I'm 26 and I guess i too sometimes think I am quite young to be getting married. I look young for my age and even though I have a 3 year old child and own my own home and business I still get door to door salesmen asking if my mum is in! I know I am capable of being a good wife and am ready for the next step in our relationship but I think niggles like this are normal. No matter what anyone says I think getting married is a big change to your lives and it is bound to cause some anxiousness as the day gets closer.

It's hard to say anything really meaningful, as I don't really know you, I've only read what you write on here and can only speak from the view that gives me of you, but nothing that I've read of you would give me the impression you would not be a 'good bride'. Most of your posts show a real affection and concern for your wedding guests and show that they are one of the main focus of your planning. You seem like a kind and thoughtful person who has as good a claim as anyone can have on being happy and radiant on your own big day.

You write that you 'know you are not a good person' but by whose standards? If your own, may I be so cheeky as to say I think you are being hard on yourself? I'm sure you don't need to hear me (random internet stranger!) say it, but the little bit of you I see through your Hitched posts makes me think you are a good person, you offer help and advice where you can and are also generous with your praise and compliments.

Honestly, I think you are right to say that this is a bout of nerves brought on by the wedding getting closer and closer (and may not be the last one you get!!). It's perfectly normal! Plus it's not a daft thing to worry about, it's a bit event that has occupied a lot of your time and thoughts, of course you want it to be perfect for both you and Mr CB.

Maybe flash us your mood board (I think I recall you have one) or some pictures again to remind us (and you!) of all the lovely things you have planned. I'm sure the responses this thread will get will also show you how many people are behind you wishing you the best day - that's gotta pull some strings with the powers that be if nothing else does

Thank you all very much, I feel miles better already!

I really can't wait to be married and know the real fun (and hard work) will start there. Roll on 8th May when we can just relax as it'll be done!

Sherrie, I suspect you're right. I think you're in a similar camp to me though, little miss work all hours ?

BV - oops, I meant that I am (well at least I try to be!) a good person. Thank you for what you said though, from one internet weirdie to another, I really appreciate it! You are a darling! ?

It's perfectly normal...honest!

I used to have dreams where I was walking down the aisle with the back of my dress tucked in my knickers!

You're not going to be rubbish or let MrCB down.....marriage doesn't really change your relationship that much...especially if you already live together (just means you can boss him around more! ?)

I think because over the years women have been 'conditioned'(for want of a better word) to get married and be a 'good wife' that we tend to worry more when it comes to our wedding.

Jayne

xxx

I had a horrible wedding dream last night, we were at our wedding reception but the venue was not the one I had chosen it was like restaurant I've been in before in a hotel that was horrible, people were sitting on the tables like they normally are in the restaurant, some on tables for two, and I'd forgotten half of the stuff for the tables, I'd put no candles in the candelabra, and everyone was eating their dinner before we'd even arrived. Then I went into the room where the disco was supposed to be and it was tiny and I'd forgotten to tell the DJ what we wanted, and I'd also forgotten to pay all the suppliers!!

CB, you seem like you are an amazing B2B, you seem sure of yourself and what you want to give your guests. I think its only natural for us all to get nerves though. We build this up to such a big event, which it is, but in having high expectations come nervous moments and worries. Your day will be perfect!

? Thanks, Trickers, love. You make me chuckle and that's just what I need!

OK, so plan of action:

1 - avoid skirt tucked in knickers (cheers, Jayne!)

2 - some time away from work (hmmm, tricky)

3 - some more time on wedding stuff (will do some mood board posting later, Sherrie, it's challenge time!)

4 - have a vodka (thanks, kayl!)

5 - not tidy my house (like this one particularly lils!)

Brilliant... That's all sorted then... I shall await the mood board flash!

I need to finish on this conference call then I'm going to do some weddingy stuff!

Totally understand your feelings on this one, feel much the same. x

Dear Confused and (very) over worked of West London,

You are bound to have wobbles and fears about the wedding but let me tell you - YOU WILL LOOK FABULOUS ON YOUR WEDDING DAY - FACT! I had stupid amounts of wedding nightmares (turning up with my knickers on show, Mum giving me a peacock to wear on my head instead of my veil...)

Do not fret my lovely. Might help to stop drinking before bedtime (apparently cheese has no effect on our dreams so you can carry on eating that).

You're still a spoon, but you're a lovely spoon... maybe like one of those commemorative ones some people collect.

Kind regards,

Dave Spingle.

He he he, bless you, Spangles! I've been good booze wise. I have my 6.30 G&T and then limit the number of times we actually drink in the evening.

*is a good girl really!*

I believe you Cricks... ?

CB have a calming hug ?

I constantly have dreams where I have missed my whole wedding day for one reason or another and the whole thing has just gone on without me. I think this is because I am a complete pefectionist and worry i'll be fretting all day and miss it all. People say 'dont sweat the small stuff' but thats just so against my nature!

I think when you have put your everything into something and need to carry on living your normal life too it can get a bit much. You will be a brilliant bride, I am sure we will all pull it together on the day ?

Oh is that true? I once knew a fellow who deliberately used to eat cheese and fall asleep to alleviate his boredom. He also used to smoke wacky baccy for this reason though!

I read it in the newspaper Illi Manilli so it must be true! Newspapers never print inaccurate stories?

I would say it's a FACT that it doesn't affect your dreams. A friend and I once drunkenly decided to eat two whole blocks of cheese before bed to test the theory out.

I feel so cheated!!

I'm going to sound very boring and pretty much agree with everything said on here- the closer it gets the more the wedding will be on your mind so if course it will give you all sorts of wierd dreams and things to panic about. I'm currently worrying about snow preventing everyone from getting to our wedding (the 'con' side of a winter wedding in January)

on the plus side- your wedding day will be one of the best days of your life and all the planning, build up, little worries and challanges are all part of it and will make the day what it is.

I'd be up for testing any theory of this sort. Let me know when you want to see if champagne affects your dreams. I'll bring me, you bring the fizzy stuff. Fair deal methinks!

Erm, the only problem was that we drank a fair bit of port with the cheese so I slept like a very large snoring log!

Pretty!

I tells ya, Mr CB is a lucky fella!

Hahaha!! Did you ever play the eating chocolate with a knife and fork game at Brownies? You had to roll two sixes and then put a woolly hat, gloves and scarf on (no idea why) then eat chocolate with a knife and fork. Now there is an idea for an evening in!

You have indeed, my lovelies, thank you!

I'm just deciding if I ought to do a mega flash or a smaller, contained mood board one. I don't want to leave my dress on for long though.

Dear Confused and over worked of West London,

You are not alone. On Saturday I had a major wobble about being a Bride. I'm currently on a diet and have changed my skin care routine in an attempt to look better on my wedding day. My H2B just needs to have a haircut to prepare for our wedding. I feel the pressure to look good is so intense I am actually stressed about it. I keep thinking, what if after doing all this to prepare I still don't look like a radiant bride?

Bloody weddings!

Yours,

Feeling the pressure, Sussex

PS I'm glad that others are feeling like this, I thought I was the only one.

Yes! I loved that game. Never managed to get any chocolate though.