Wedding Planner - Yes, No or do I just need to put my big girl pants on??

Personally I wouldn't have a planner unless things really are that bad.

You've booked your venue & your big things so they can't help with that, all that's needed is a bit of time going in to it.

Why have your BMs stopped looking for dresses? Why don't you organise for a girlie day out to a shopping centre and have a look, then go for a nice lunch or something? That's one job done.

Invitations- why were your other invitations wrong? When is your wedding? Do you have time to organise more? Is there something specific you want? Sorry for all the questions but I'm thinking that the others on here might be able to help you find something if we know what you're after. There are lots of suppliers who can produce lovely invites and quickly. Plus if you don't pay a planner you will have the money for almost whatever invites you want.

A wedding planner won't be able to get your guest list down unfortunately and I do think that all the other bits can be easily handled if you make a list and tick them off one by one.

Im not anti planner but I really feel that you're half way there & with a little help from others on here you'll be fine if you do things bit by bit.

Hi, thanks for the reply, where the invites are concerned, one of our friends who got married at the weekend had a colleague make her invites, she was starting up a business and hers were beautiful pocketfold invites a lovely gun metal colour. I showed the designer somethings that i liked, the damask pattern but in a shimmery ivory pattern on matt ivory board so it wasnt blatantly obvious. She came back with fuschia pink damask on white. then after going through the plans again I got an email back about 2 weeks ago, (we spoke to her in September to get the invites in December) saying she couldnt make them anymore as she'd had problems with the printers. We get married in august next year so just under 8 months left, I did want some really pretty bespoke invites but after talking with OH we've sort of decided that most people just throw them away anyway, so we're paying £2-3 for people to just trash them. I know that sounds a little bitter, this is the fed up coming through!!

With regard to the BMs, its not as simple as going for a lunch, one lives in Notts, one in London, one in Birmingham and the other in North Yorkshire so theyre all over. I've told my sister to pick a date in January so I can have my dress fitting, and then we'll all meet on that date and they have to each have a BM dress by the end of the day!

I just see the date getting closer and closer and Im stuck here with all this stuff to do but no motivation to do it or help from my BMs (MOH has been amazing but I cant fob it all off on her) or OH. I know what I want and I know what I want it to look like but Im feeling like its not going to work. OH and I set on a vintage theme with ivory, lace, pearl, dusky pinks and sage greens but then hes seen this monopoly board table plan and he wants that. I dont get how that matches. I've bought my dress which is lacey and I want some nice lacey shoes to go with it but what I have in my head I cant seem to find. Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh! I think you're right where the WP comes in but it seems like maybe its the cheating way out. Plus I think itd drive me mad not knowing whats going on!!!

I'm gonna vote for big girl pants. You have plenty of time to get organised, if your friends/family and OH are anything like mine they just won't see it as being so much of a priority as you right now, when it's nearer the time they will get excited. 7 months is plenty of time, I think us brides think too far ahead sometimes. When I thought my BM wasn't getting into the dress hunting and I was getting a bit frustrated (she also doesn't live close enough that we could just organise a shopping trip) I just kept sending her pictures of dresses until one of them wowed her and she went and ordered it. When OH wasn't being cooperative for example with choosing menus I deliberately mocked up a menu that had 3 soup options for starters and he soon got involved ?.

I think youare doing great. You have done about as much as me and i get married in july. As for invites we got some beautiful ones for £1 each off ebay and they were delivered within 4 days.

BM dresses im leaving until january and having a look in the sales so im not worried about that. If I were you I would just be sending pics out of dresses you like but remember its xmas so there are probably not willing to buy a dress for your wedding right now with other things to pay for.

As for the guest list we have told everyone that the venue has a maximum number of guests and we cant keep adding people.

I had times when I've felt like that, and wondered why I'm not just running off somewhere with just my fiancé. I've also struggled to get my fiancé involved - he helped choose the venue, car and cake, but has little interest in most of the other areas - to take some pressure off me, I left him in charge of the honeymoon (it's going to be a surprise for me).

You've still got plenty of time to get everything sorted. I know how you feel with the invites - it's almost as if there is too much choice, but none are quite what you're looking for at the right budget. I found Pinterest useful for getting my fiancé looking at invites - I pin the ones I like and then he looks at those and pins the ones he likes from there, so we start getting an idea of what we both like.

With the monopoly table plan, if he likes it, see if you can fit it in - at least he has shown interest in that! Could you link it into the vintage theme by using pale pink 'community chest' cards for place settings?

You don't need a planner, give yourself some time out from the planning, even just a few days, then go back to with a clear, less stressed mind.

I hit a slump at around 8 months to go and seriously couldn't be bothered with any of it. It will pass. You have the important stuff done, you still have plenty of time and a wedding planner is not going to sort out BM dresses or lace shoes... the hitched ladies, on the other hand, might be able to help! Do you have any pictures similar to what you're looking for?

As for invitations, I agree ebay is the way forward. There is a huge selection for £1 -£1.50. Facebook is also a good place to look too. Give yourself a break until after Christmas and you'll be back with renewed energy for it all.

Man up and put on those big girl pants!!! I organised a wedding in the UK whilst living in Australia!!

You need to take a deep breath and understand that you have done all of the big things, its just the small things to do and you have PLENTY of time to get it done!! With the bridesmaids, if they don't want to arrange a shopping trip, then get them to send you their measurements and you sort their dresses and if they don't like it tough luck, they should have made a bit more effort! As far as your guest list, that's all to do with your budget and venue capacity. If you can afford and have the space to have more people your parents want to invite, then try and do it - they only want to show you off and you really won't notice extras on the day! If not, be ruthless, start from the people you have to have there and go from there. Invitations - there are loads of options you just need to look around, craft shops or try online ready printed websites.... snapfish, optimal print even moonpig!

You CAN do this...... take a little break, enjoy Christmas and NY and then get back on it! ?

Hi Debs

Sorry you feel this way, never nice when something we should be enjoying is cause for overwhelming stress

I think the issue here is how much a Wedding Planner is supposed to be doing. I get the impression you think they will take all the issues in hand and go with a magic wand to fix everything, but I think the reality is a bit different.

I believe they will take what you want into account and get it done, but only once things are already decided. You will still have to make the calls on how to deal with BMs, which invite to get, etc...

They will coordinate the day for you, but just making sure what you want happens, but the input will still have to be there?

I have considered a wedding planner, but I found out I didn't want spend the money, and would be happy with a day coordinator instead.

Have you conversed in detail with wedding planners, finding out exactly what they would do for you? The last thing you want is to go and hire another thing that might disappoint and stress you.

Hope this feeling go away soon and you start enjoying the planning,

We are here to help

xx

Hi Debs

Our wedding is booked for 1st August 2014. I was going to make the invites - pretty tartan ribbon with white roses and cut out bits etc. But, time is running out and when I spoke to people about them they said, oh, we just put the date into our phones and threw the invite away! I then decided to buy some and just write the details on - but, after looking in WHSmith etc couldn't really find what I was looking for. So Ebay was the next step. I ordered some and got 50 printed for £19.99 including delivery. So, for £40 I have 50 lovely printed daytime wedding invites and 50 lovely matching evening only invites. We were going to send them out with Christmas cards but decided that they'd probably get lost amongst Christmas stuff so are waiting until the beginning of January 2014.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/50-Personalised-Wedding-Evening-Invitations-BUTTERFLY-HEART-DIAMANTE-/221207939642?pt=UK_Home_Garden_Celebrations_Occasions_ET&var=&hash=item3381054a3a

Hopefully you can see the link above. They were great - sent proofs etc and delivered in no time.

Hope this helps with at least one small part of what feels like an overwhelming pile of stuff to sort!

xxx

I'm getting married at the beginning of May, my invites haven't been designed yet, my BMs have no dresses and our guestlist isn't sorted. But it's OK, as I have time! And so do you
Etsy and eBay both have some great BM dress options; you could send a few around and order for your BMs and ask them to go to a local dressmaker to fit them?

And Monopoly was launched in 1933, so that's pretty bang on vintage in my book

It will all be fine; planning a wedding is a HUGE thing and it inevitably falls more to the bride than the groom and it's totally natural to feel a bit like the planning's all one sided. If you can incorporate the things he is showing an interest in, it may help him to engage more with other parts of the planning as well

Good luck! x

I vote for the big girl pants! I can understand why you're so stressed and it's a pain if you have an uncooperative H2B but you need to take control:

Invites; easy to sort, like you said most people will chuck it away so get your butt to vista print and design some cheapies!

Bridesmaids; tell them if they don't find something then you will pick the dress and they will have to like it or lump it. Harsh but fair!

Guest list; it's a toughy but my partner has a hug family and our numbers are limited to 50 so we have just had to not invite some people. At the end of the day it's your day and you decide who comes, not your family. it's not easy to say no but you have to do what's right for you and if it causes difficulties then why invite people you only say once every 5 years?

H2B; I get that some people have stressful jobs and are tired and worn out but it's his wedding too and if you're feeling stressed he should be a bit more supportive and at least make you feel like he cares about the day!

I honestly don't think at this point you need a planner, all the main things are done and now it's just the little touches. Personally I would recommend taking a break over xmas to just relax and recuperate then in the New Year get everything in order and tackle each issue one at a time. 8 months is a fair amount of time so don't panic. You will be fine! x