Wedding Plans on hold....

Ahhhh, I'm glad you're happy with your decision ?

there are some very helpful ladies on Mumdrum if you need advice on that aspect (you can log in with your hitched details I think)

Being a Mummy is the best thing in the entire world and when you do get married in 2016 you will do it as a family. Good luck with everything.

That's a hard decision to make but exciting in another way.... ? good luck.

Morning!!! Good call, I reckon!! I had my first baby at 19, single, living abroad at the time. She is going to be assistant TOG at my wedding! Along came number 2 (usher) and had number 3 at 35 yrs old. She's our flowergirl!! I think it's fab that you will get to have your own little family at your wedding.... To us, it makes it all the more special . Good luck with the baby making!! Whoop whoop!! :0) xx

I feel sad about not having the wedding to plan as such anymore and knowing that I wont be getting married next year now... Had a little cry but I know what we are doing will reward us with something much more worth while and then we can get back to wedding planning later down the line. I have already been engaged 3 years and so to finally set a date for next Aug was a step further (he has always been very hesitent about the whole thing) and now that date has gone has made me feel sad.

On the other hand, the happy comments from you all so far has made smile, this has been such a hard decision to make

Im hoping that I can save enough to maybe say to OH how about christmas 2014 and do a last minute winter wedding for close friends and family. im desperate to get married and to also start a family!

I'm pinning all my hoped on winning a few million tonight on the lottery!!!

Aw how lovely. Becoming a parent is the most amazing thing in the world. We had a child before getting married. My Daughter will be 3 when we get wed in September & is my flower girl

There is nothing quite like being a Mummy. We get married next month and our 3yo will be our page boy, he talks about Mummy, Daddy and Jude getting married ❤️

Thanks for all the lovely comments...

I cant give up on the wedding... I've tried... BUT this is my logic... we have started trying ;-) if you know what I mean, Ive only just come off the pill so will have to wait and see how long it takes now (My friend got preg within a month of coming off, another took 18 months)

so this is my plan...

A secret wedding! I've moved the date to Dec 2014 instead of Aug 2014 (Gives me few extra months of saving) Im going to continue planning the wedding but cut numbers (40 days instead of 60) and poss have more in the evening (150 instead of 100). To the day event just have close family and best friends (He has 50 odd members of his extended uncles cousins dogs best friend kinda thing, who I have met only once in 6 years at his cousins wedding last year!!

I have a total of 11 of us in my family including me! I was thinking of his mum, dad, sister, nan, 2 uncles and 2 aunties plus close cousins (about the same as me) then our best best friends (my MOH and other best mate, his 2 best men)... just them to the ceremony and then everyone else to the evening do... other friends and not so close family.

I was planning on keeping it all a secret up until say Oct 2014 and then letting him know in time to give notice.

Now if I do fall preg between now and then it just means we have got the added bonus of our bubba coming to it to and being in a pretty dress/baby suit!! My nephew will be 4 by then so he can hold the ring cushion.

I wont book anything weddingy though until the Oct 2014, so get a proper last minute deal/cancellation.

So this now gives me and year and 9 months to save in secret (I dont mind paying for the wedding, as he is paying the new kitchen we just had fitted). I'm a teacher so I have had some business cards delivered, which I'm going to start giving out for private tutoring (This is something I can do though maternity as well) to help earn some extra cash for the wedding, I'm selling bits and bobs on ebay as well (made £66 so far) all in all I have saved £1000 in the last 2 months, so with year and 9 months to go, plus potential baby, I'm hoping to save about £5000

AM I NUTS TO PLAN SUCH A THING???!?!?!?

I just cant give up on my wedding ?

MrsM2B, sounds like a great plan, a win win situation! The tutoring is definitely a way forward for mat leave and for savings...good on you!

We had baby 1 first, married when he was 17 months and now expediting baby #2. It was great to have the wedding at the right time for our son o be walking etc (ring bearer) and be able to have a few days away from him for honeymoon, and then to conceive #2 with ideal age gap.

Worked out perfectly for us.

Awww good luck !!

I agree with all the other mummies, its just THE best thing!

Once you have your baby (or babies !) you can marry anytime

Good luck ?

Hi MrsMurphy2B,

Seeming as you have managed to save £1000, you already have enough money to get married - just not the 'big white wedding' style that people seem to epect nowadays. If you do want to have a big do with every single friend and family member present then you probably will have to postpone, but you have already got enough money for a church or a registry office if you want to. Only you can decide what is important to you, but I know that you can get get married with very little money (think church/registry office then byo picnic in the park for all and sundry) if you are flexible enough. I hope all goes well, and happy 'trying'!

M x

See i would happily get married in a reg off with nearest and dearest and then do like afternoon tea and scones... job done! i would have a dress (but looking at getting a copy one etc off like ebay or something similar), i would make my own flower bouquet etc... BUT

It is actually him that wants to big white wedding... dont get me wrong if we had the money then yeah i'd go for it

Aww don't be sad, you've put the plans on hold for something even MORE wonderful It's a sensible plan and children are more long lasting than one wedding day

It's so nice to read so many nice comments! Well the 'trying' has come to a hold this week... typical mother nature! So back to the wedding planning ?

I'm such an impatient person! Want it all NOW NOW NOW! BABY AND WEDDING heehee

Hi,

I think there are some really good comments here. I think you are right to come to a decision together about having a baby first. I also think it is great, and totally manageable to plan a wedding for Christmas 2014, however I am surprised that you wouldn't tell him these plans until Oct. I really think a wedding, much like a baby, is something that should be planned together. Also, you said that he has been hesitant about it all, so I would worry he might burst your bubble if a secret wedding is sprung on him?! Just my thoughts, but it sounds like you have it all worked out!

I think it's great what you're doing but (please don't anyone hate me for what I say!)

You shouldn't put anything on hold for a baby - my life has been "on hold" for nearly 3 years whilst we've been trying, gone through fertility treatments etc..

Although we are actively having treatments at the moment we've planned our wedding as if there is no baby, so I haven't thought in advance about "what if I can't fly if i'm too far gone etc"

It's so hard trying to only book things 6 months in advance just incase but after a while you just have to stop..

I think you should plan the wedding as you've always wanted and hope that a little bambino comes along to join you!

Best of luck baby making - remember it doesnt always happen straight away and don't put too much pressure on either of you - I tell ya, 3 years of trying gets a little boring and 3 years isn't a lot compared to some people!

xx

Yeah i understand what you mean about 'springing' it on him later in oct. Through the whole planning of the wedding so far he really hasnt been active at all! these me saving pictures n going to venues n getting brochures etc and he hasnt looked at a single one (It's surprising how a man can look at what you are showing him in a brochure/on the laptop at the same time as not even taking his eyes off the tv!) He says its completely up to me what we have and he is happy if im i am happy.

We have chosen colours etc. he said once i see a venue that i love then he will come and view 2nd time with me to put deposit down etc, but to be honest he aint too bothered what venue like!

He only wants all the extended family there because its the 'done thing' the only wedding he has been to is his cousin's wedding that was in june (an being apart of the extended family, they were all close to her, whereas he sees them once a year if he lucky) (he doesnt really get that a wedding acn be who we cant it to be and not every tom dick and harry!)

As for baby, i understand that it could take a while, hence why im still planning, my only worry with booking wedding etc is that i book wedding then find out that im preg and by the time the wedding comes round il be come 7 month preg whale trying to fit into a wedding dress! not really the look im going for heehee

I would continue as you are but hold off on dresses til you know one way or another!

Have you thought about marking? Not sure what age group you teach, but I get paid for marking external primary school tests (Level 6 SATs style marking) as well as my GCSE script marking. I made a nice chunk last year which helped go towards our wedding fund. Not too stressful either if you manage your time properly. Also any you can't finish you just send back, no problems, so no pressure really.

Thats a good idea! Ive signed up my first 2 tutoring students tonight! really pleased about! will defo look into test marking!