Wedding Presents

I think nothing wrong with asking for no gifts as such and going down the contribution route. It's just being honest and modern about it all. My sister in law said this via a poem in the invite. Maybe google wedding money poems? Add a little humour to it to lighten the mood?!

I bought dresses/shoes/jewellery/bags/hair pieces/etc. I gave them each a gift bag with some Jo Malone goodies, a bottle of fizz, a posh lipgloss and some chocolates. I have only been an adult bridesmaid myself once, and didn't receive a gift beyond the dress and shoes.

We're in a similar position but after seeing a lot of threads on here about it, we've decided not to mention it on the invites. If people ask us then we'll state our preference for money/vouchers.

Personally I don't like money poems

We would prefer to receive cash over presents. That being said, we are having a really small wedding - very close family and friends only, so under 50 people who all know our personal situation ergo we probably won't end up with 4 toasters ( but have held off on buying any small appliances for now, just in case). We aren't going to mention it at all.

I don't have a any bridesmaids ( didn't' want to choose!). In fact we don't have a wedding party so to speak at all so we avoided that bullet. As for parents, I do see lots of people do get gifts for the mums, That is sweet and I am considering it. Especially for his Mum as she has been very good to me when other mums might not have been.

Apparently grooms sometimes give gifts to the bride on the day too...I guess this is why they call it the wedding "industry". We discussed and decided to use the money on a second horseback riding excursion whilst on honeymoon instead.

We have put a poem with our invites saying if the guest intends to buy a gift money towards our honeymoon would be appreciated. There are loads of these poems online

I don't think there's a way to mention it without being clear that you want money.
We're not mentioning it at all, i'd imagine most of our family & friends know our situation and will give money but if they don't any gifts will be appreciated. I don't like mentions of it at all, especially the money poems..if I received one in an invite i'd bleach and burn it to death but each to their own.

Gifts wise we're buying gifts for the best man & bridesmaid, also for the mums & my dad. I think it probably is a tradition but it's one I like, I know them well and they'll go to a lot of trouble in getting us gifts and helping out with loads of things so want to show them it's appreciated. You can get gifts for as little as a fiver personalised on ebay etc so it's not a lot of expense really and a nice little gesture in my opinion

hahahaha

This is always quite a touchy subject.

Etiquette states that you shouldn't say anything about gifts on your invites and that people should ask the parents of the bride or groom what they can get. But I apprecaite that you don't want to end up with loads of stuff you don't want, and your parents might feel awkward telling people to give you cash/vouchers.

But I have to say, my friend put a money poem in her wedding invite and it was the most offensive thing I have ever seen. "we have all our pots and pans, cups and saucers blah blah blah - so we just want your money" was basically how I read it. And I was disgusted by it. I felt that if they already had everything, then they shoulnd't ask for anything at all. Traditionally gifts were given to help a bride and groom set up their new home and life together, because they wouldn't have lived together beforehand back in the day. Hence the toasters/kettles/duvets/beddings etc.

But equally on the other hand, a wedding we went to over the summer gave us their wish list for Debenhams, so we bought something off it. The groom then later told the OH that what they had really wanted was money rather than all the stuff on their wish list. So we felt the saucepans we had got them were a complete waste of money, and were slightly insulted by it.

Really, i haven't helped at all and just ranted a little. Sorry.

Money poems are just bleurgh! We haven't mentioned anything at all. People have asked my parents / h2b's parents what we want, and they've said money, as we live in a furnished flat and don't need any utensils etc. If you don't ask for anything, people who don't know what to get you will ask you what you want. That way, people who are set on getting you something, will still get you that and not feel obliged to give money instead.

I'm getting my bridesmaids pressies, haven't decided what yet though! i was MOH at my friend's wedding this year, and we each got a little gift bag with loccitane hand cream, a nails inc nail varnish and a little compact mirror. As i was MOH I also got a mini bottle of fizzy.

I really want to get my parents something as they're being so generous, paying for our whole reception and my mum's been so helpful with ideas / decorations. They have everyhting they want, so I think what we'll do is take them for a lovely meal after the wedding, no expenses spared so as much wine as they want! And then we'll pay the bill.

I don't really like money poems, so we we just honest, a one liner on the invite. As for gifts for bridesmaids, ushers, paretns etc, we have got them all gifts and also a card each to say thank you. If your bridesmaids, parents, ushers etc have been anythin like ours have been you will want to get them something to show them your appreciation, ours have been amazing so I wouldn't have dreamed of not getting them anything, as long as it's something from the heart I don't think it has to be costly. We paid for the ushers suits and have got them all a ersonalised hipflash each (they all love their alcohol!) and for the bridesmaids, we bought the whole outfit, shoes, dress jewellry etc and paying for them to get their hair and make up done, and I've got them a few bits for the day.

I think dependent on how involved in the lead up to your wedding day depends on how you feel about it, mine have been amazing and are my closest friends, so i wanted to make sure i showed my gratitude somehow!

I will be saying 'No presents please, just your presence'

I loathe money poems.

We didn't put anything in our invites and ended up with mostly cash and a couple of lovely thoughtful gifts. I think the days of buying people toasters and towel bales is gone, especially if you are already living together as people will know you don't need them.

We regards to gifts we bought for the bridesmaids, I bought them each a different piece of jewellery and then some other little bits. Just to say thanks for the all the support they'd given me in organising and also on the day. Same for our parents, we bought them all a small gift just to say thanks for their help in organising. They didn't contribute financially but they helped with chasing RSVPs etc which we wanted to thank them for.

Worth noting we didn't give these gifts during speeches, they were all done at home with them in private

I'm not a fan of the money poems either. We'd like cash too but didn't feel comfortable asking for it so instead we put

"Your company is what really matters to us both on our special day but if you would like to buy us a gift we would be most grateful for Thomas Cook vouchers for our honeymoon to Japan. Please phone Thomas Cook on xxxxx xxxx, booking reference xxxx".

We didn't want to take the risk of getting photo frames, champagne, toasters etc...

For the guests just invited to the evening we have not mentioned anything about gifts...

x

Lol I think everyone seems to hate money poems, My OH was quite keen to write one but now i think we will just not say anything, hopefully most people will either ask or just not bring anything lol!

I'm now undecided about bridesmaid gifts. I'd love to get them something nice as a keepsake but I guess I will have to wait and see what my budget allows!

Thanks

I agree with what's been said I don't think you can ask for money without asking for money. And I also dislike money poems. We chose not to put anything and we received money, dollars for our honeymoon and a couple of bottles of champagne, a salad set and a towel bale. All which were equally appreciated. It seems tradition among the older generation to put some sort of gift list in your invitations and so a lot of people asked what we would like and we was just honest and said if they would like to get us a gift then we would appreciate money for our honeymoon/new bathroom.

I would say though do not depend on money from your wedding for something like your honeymoon. We could have still afforded it without any contributions but it made it extra special. I think expecting it is rude.

In terms of bridesmaids gifts I bought their jewellery as part of their outfits which I presented on the day and gave them a card and a small box of chocolates. Parents got the traditional flowers/beer but we didn't go mad as they wouldn't have wanted us to. The ushers got their cufflinks and the best man got a bottle of vodka. We then also got a gift for my SIL who made our cake and for my friend who did all the girls hair for us. We probably spent about £100 on all the gifts.

When I was a bridesmaid I didn't expect anything. But even a small token is thoughtful.