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50's pin up bride
Beginner July 2012

What are you doing about gift lists?

50's pin up bride, 8 January, 2012 at 20:38 Posted on Planning 0 16

We are dithering about gift lists. Having recently bought our first house, we have bought a lot of things as we've set up the house, so don't need anything in the way of toasters / kettles / glasses etc - but we would like a 'posh' dinner service and high quality cutlery set.

We'd really like a lot of stuff for the garden, which we yet have to completely overhaul - but again, we shall probably do a lot of work over Spring and the wedding isn't until July so we don't want to put too much emphasis on that side of things in case we've nearly finished it by then!

We are also hoping to save up for a honeymoon another 6 months or so down the line, but personally we both feel quite uncomfortable asking for cash for this. I think if we mentioned this and had it as an option, but didn't make too big a deal of it (instead focusing on a very varied gift list) then we'd feel ok about it being there.

So, where to start?! We considered one of the high street lists which covered any remaining house stuff; we could also have a B&Q list which covered most of the garden stuff... but it's all a bit of a minefield!

16 replies

Latest activity by far2calm, 9 January, 2012 at 14:14
  • ButterflyChild
    Beginner May 2013
    ButterflyChild ·
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    Hey hun,

    We plan to slip a little poem into the invite to let guests know that we would prefer a cash gift as we already own our house and its completely furnished. We're also going to have a little post box at the reception for people to post their cards in.

    I think that the little poem is a nice way of letting people know what you'd prefer. There's loads online but, I penned one myself. From my timeline you can see I have a bit of time to go yet, so there's plent of time to tweak my poem!

    I googled 'money wedding gift poems' and loads popped up!! There's funny ones, slushy ones and uber cheesy ones, there's also loads about money for honeymoon, renovation of house etc, there's some where the words are blank for you to fit in what you would like money towards xx

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  • NewYearRose
    Beginner December 2012
    NewYearRose ·
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    We're going to ask for donations for Alzheimer's Society.

    We don't need anything for our house, and I don't want to ask for money for ourselves, when it could go to a much more deserving cause.

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  • lisaanne
    Beginner April 2012
    lisaanne ·
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    We're asking for either money towards our honeymoon, or we have a gift list with John Lewis. John Lewis is good as it doesn't charge your guests delivery on what they buy, whereas most other places do.

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  • DarkMoomin
    Beginner June 2012
    DarkMoomin ·
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    Hi,

    I think people often want to feel they have had a choice about what they have bought you - so having real gifts as opposed to cash or vouchers is always good.

    I personally ahte giving cash or vouchers, but feel bad when I know its what the couple really want!

    ANyway, I think the best things for gift lists are something that feels it has a lasting quality - so from my point of view I suppose it depends on what you want for the gaarden, but things like nioce outdoor lights, firepit/chiminea or even specific plants might be good - I bought my mum a Japanese Acer when she remarried and its even moved house with her!

    I think things like a expensive glasswear, cutlery and crockery are great, especially as people do't have to spend much to get a few pieces.

    However, at the end pof the day, if what you would appreciate most is cash for your honeymoon, then you totally should ask for that.

    I think your idea of more than 1 list is quite good, but dont go too crazy or people might get confused or find it very hard to work out what to get. It might work well to tell a little story - why you don't need much house stuff but that there are somethings that you wouldn't buy for yourself that would help complete your home; what sort of things you plan to do with the garden, how their gifts will help realise that; what sort of thing they would be contributing to for a honeymoon. I think that always helps people get their head wround a 'non standard' guest list. If you know where you want to go on honeymoon maybe you could suggests guests who give cash might like to recommend sights or locations you could visit?

    Hope my ramblings help a bit! sorry, its been a long weekend!! I think as long as you word it politely then these days people tend not to mind what you ask for!

    DM x

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  • ButterflyChild
    Beginner May 2013
    ButterflyChild ·
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    That's what we would like our cash gifts to go towards, honeymoon and a new bathroom!! x ?

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  • *Nursey*
    Beginner May 2012
    *Nursey* ·
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    We're not having a gift list. Those that ask us/our parents if we want anything will be advised JL vouchers. But people might also decide to a) not buy something b) choose us a pressie off their own backs c) give us money. Either way, that's fine!

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  • SassyT
    Beginner August 2013
    SassyT ·
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    We'll be asking for money toward a honeymoon but making it clear that it's utterly optional and if they would prefer to bring a gift they can but neither are compulsory!

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  • Debidoo!
    Beginner May 2012
    Debidoo! ·
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    I asked 10 of my guests whether if we never mentioned a gift list what would they do. All of them said they'de buy us a gift anyway, all 10 said 'we'd buy you a lovely photo frame'!

    So to avoid having possibly 50 photo frames we decided on Homebase vouchers. We didn't want to ask for money and this way we can choose new wallpaper and overhaul the garden Smiley smile

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  • W
    Beginner July 2012
    Wherts2b ·
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    We're using www.thebottomdrawer.co.uk for our gift list and you can ask for household items etc and you can also ask for money to go specifically towards things.

    For example, we want our gifts to go towards honeymoon but know that some people don't like giving money so we have listed certain trips that we want to do or "meal for 2 at suchandsuch restaurant" and ultimately, things like that will accumulate money in a pot that you then go and spend yourself. So people feel better in thinking they are contributing towards a "gift" and the money is yours to do just that with.

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  • Liverbird
    Beginner August 2012
    Liverbird ·
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    This is what we're doing! We're honeymooning in New Zealand for a month, so there should be lots of scope for trips and little extras that people can chose from. We plan to send each person a postcard as a thank you too! Not sure about the logistics of it yet though, we have a gettingmarried wedsite so I would like to put the giftlist on there if possible.

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  • D
    Beginner May 2012
    dlees81 ·
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    No list. We hate asking for stuff. It's bad enough the IL2Bs demand a Christmas list every year without having to work this one out too! As someone said I expect people will want to buy us gifts anyway, and as we don't need anything we don't really mind what we get. If people do ask we might ask for contribution to HM.

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  • W
    Beginner July 2012
    Wherts2b ·
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    I think it's an amazing idea! It just depends how soon people go on and "buy their gifts". We go on honeymoon 2 days after wedding so if we close gift list officially the day of the wedding, hopefully that will give us chance to go and get our currency changed the next day!

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  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    We haven't done anything about a gift list. Everyone knows us well enough to know that we own a toaster by now. I'm happy enough to receive surprise gifts, and I presume that many people will pop money or vouchers in a card. We are, however, happy enough for our guests just to be there, so wont be disappointed if anyone turns up empty handed...although I hope everyone will bring a card as it would be nice to keep them all. ?

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  • Nubbin
    Beginner January 2012
    Nubbin ·
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    This. Its clearly a personal choice but we won't be having a list or requests for anything specific. I like surprises Smiley smile

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  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    Oooh, another Glasgow bride! ?

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  • lurvlytwink
    Beginner June 2012
    lurvlytwink ·
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    We haven said anything but if anyone asked then we are saying John lewis or bnq vouchers because we want to do our bathroom & living room up.

    i couldn't bring my self to just ask for cash (i know a lot of people do but i just felt rude) so if we end up with 50 photos frames...so be it Smiley smile x

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  • far2calm
    Beginner May 2012
    far2calm ·
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    We were having this exact discussion last night. I dont like or really agree with asking for anything. I've always said I'd have a gift list, we dont currently live together so we do need a few things, kettle, toaster, and a few other bits. But after looking at JL website I feel things are a bit expensive and a lot of things I would be put down for the sake of it. Which just seems a waste and expense for guests.

    So we are swaying more to putting nothing in the card and leave it up to the guests, and if they come empty handed that is more than fine with me.

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