What are you doing with your surname once you are married

Personally, I will be taking my husband's name, but everyone is different.

I think the idea of having the 'Smith' as a middle name is a good one. You get to keep your dad's name, but your surname will be the same as your husband and children. Plus if your husband really wants you to have 'Jones' as your surname, it's a good compromise IMHO.

Hope that helps!

My surname is not common at all and I always knew I wanted to keep it - I had said from the start that I would double barrel. OH already has an unusual first name (in his opinion) and at the start he said he would keep his name - so we would share one surname but not both. Children aren't currently on the cards but they would have both surnames.

Recently though, OH has given the impression that he will take both names too. It means a lot to me but I don't mention it much - it's his decision and I don't want to influence that. It seems more likely as time goes on though and I like that. However we've had a long engagement (by the time we get married it will have been 3.5 years) so he's had a lot of time to think about it. If we got married sooner, he probably would have just kept his name.

Sorry, I waffled a little there! To compare my situation to yours - I never really gave OH a decision on my name, I did what I wanted and let him do the same for his. When it was on the cards, neither of us were concerned that our names wouldn't exactly match. We were lucky that we agreed on children though.

My husband took my surname. He kept his former surname as a middle name, as it works as both a Christian name and surname (like, say, James).

There's nothing wrong with having different surnames - you can have whatever you like. As for kids, you can give them whatever you want - why would your H2B not want them to double barrel? They (most probably) live inside you for 9 months and then come out of your lady parts, why shouldn't they have part of your surname too..?

I shoved my birth surname into my middle name. no problems, no hassle and still therefore a hogan for life ^_^

but mrs. 'mr winter' to the world, so it's the best of both really. i've taken his name which was something we both wanted, but i still have my own name for life.

Both of my children have two middle names, one of which is my surname.

I plants add my surname to my Middle name once married and OH is thinking of doing the same.

So although we'll be Mr and Mrs Smith we'll be John Bob Snow Smith and Kelly Ann Snow Smith if that makes sense? :-)

I'm double barrelling, though I did consider adding my surname to my middle name. My OH actually encouraged me to keep my surname as he know how important it is to me. We don't mind that my name will be slightly different (I grew up with my mum, step-dad and siblings having a different surname to me). Our kids will just have his surname though.

I'm not sure what to do, my parents never married so I have my mum's surname. It's not unusal or anything but I'd quite like to keep it. Oh doesn't want to double barrel. I never though of adding it to my middle name, would it be odd having a surname as a middle name though?

I love my surname and didn't want to lose it. Would feel like I was losing my identity as most people use that rather than my first name including the H2B.

He wanted to feel like we were a family so I am double barrelling and he is taking my surname as a middle name.

Also, couldn't simply take his name as my initials would then spell something rather unfortunate.

I felt like that at first, as my dad has also passed. Thought I was losing the last part of him. But what is true Is no mater what sure name you have you always be apart of them. I'm actualy really excited, it's a new beginning and a new me. I think do what every makes you happy with your sure name what ever choice you make will be right for you

I kept my surname.

My mom double-barreled hers and my father kept his. Me and my siblings have my father's last name.

Mr Ash's cousin: Him and his wife kept their surnames. The boy children has the husband's surname and the girl children have the wife's surname.

i have had for 12 years now not odd at all

I thought about this for a while as it does connect me to my family and my H2B surname doesn’t really go with my first name as it’s not a common first name, but does go when I keep it as a middle or double barrell. H2B isn’t a fan of me double barrelling it and I’m really not sure I would have enough spaces on a passport form to take it as a middle name as I already have a middle name. Maybe I should find that out!

I'm taking OHs name and keeping mine as an additional middle name. That was really because our names don't sound good double barrelled.

Our children have his surname. Just how we wanted it really.

My Auntie kept her name and double-barrelled it but her children took just their dads name.

Never been a problem for them and she really likes that she still has a link to my grandparents name.

Personally I cant wait to get rid of my last name it connects me to a person (Father) that I do not want any connection with at all.

I think the idea of turning your surname into your middle name is lovely and unique. Its also a lovely story to tell people when they mention what an unusual middle name you have

On a slightly different note, but something I found quite amusing, my 3 year old neice is terribly upset that when told her that when I marry her uncle my 'long name' (ie first, middle and last,) will no longer be almost the same as hers! We have the same middle name and last name and when I told her what my new 'long name' would be, she got very upset and thought that meant I wouldn't be her aunty any more!

Like I said, a bit OT, but I thought it was quite funny!

I am taking my H2B's surname. Something I never thought I would do, but thinking practically I don't want to double barrel, and I really want my family unit (including future children) to share the same name, that's really important to me.

When my Mum got married to my Dad she took his name, but gave me and my sister her maiden name as our middle name. It was a disaster and I dropped it as soon as I was able to ('Allen') as I was bullied relentlessly because of it and still get teased! So advise against doing that for your children (but do whatever the hell you want for you, as an adult these things matter significantly less)

I'm keeping my name, and my H2B is keeping his. Our personal feelings are that we don't need our names to be the same to feel married. Plus I'm lazy, do you know how many bits of paperwork are involved in changing your name?!!

If I did decide to change my name, I'd add his as a second last name and have a non-hyphenated double barrelled surname (e.g. Mrs Jones Smith rather than Mrs Jones-Smith). I would still want to use my surname not just have it as a middle name. So I'd be like Jennifer Love Hewitt or Helena Bonham Carter, always known by both names

I took OH name. I did consider double barreling, but they are both long, and would be a complete mouth full.

I like the idea of making 'smith' your middle name, especially as you don't have one and you'll have the same surname as OH and kids.

Its a shame he wont consider having 'Smith-Jones', considering you are taking his name!

This is what I'm doing too. He doesn't like it but won't change his name so tough!

Ive just recently got married and chose to double barrel my name. Its quite a mouthful but having previously been married (where I took my then husbands surname) after our divorce I quickly reverted back to my maiden name. What surprised me was how much my own name meant to me and my identity which is why I wanted to double barrel this time.

Our son has my husbands surname only which im happy with.

Paperwork hasn't been too much hassle the only person to query my name was the doctors.

Good luck choosing x x

I'm taking my h2b's surname even though i'm not too keen on it.

It was one thing that he feels very strongly about (it's not the surname he was born with and I think he is extremely proud of it) so i'm happy to go a long with it.

Plus I like that it links us together.

Probably a silly question, but how do you change your surname to your middle name?

Exactly this for me.

Weird and wonderful facts - Bonham Carter is a surname. Hewitt is a surname with Love being a middle name.

My surname is two separate words (no hyphen) and people constantly think the first part is a middle name. Like calling her Helena Carter. It's irritating and makes things hard work if anyone is ever trying to search for me alphabetically, and some online forms won't even accept a surname that is two words so I end up having to hyphenate. Ah well, first world problems.

I am also wondering about this.

I have 2 middle names that are my grandmothers' names from both sides and if I double barrelled, my name would be very long!

I am thinking of changing my name to replace my middle names with my surname eg bananacatdance smith jones. Not decided properly yet.

If you really don't want to lose it then keep it! Lots of options, I think usually it becomes yourname-theirname but doesn't have to and you don't have to worry about kids surnames until they come along.

I have this dilemma too. Ideally i'd like to double barrel my name and for hubby to be to do this too but I doubt he will. I've thought of having my surname as my middle name instead. What do you need to do to change it?

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