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Meltdown
Dedicated September 2021

What cheek!

Meltdown, 7 November, 2013 at 15:57 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 14

I went to a friends wedding at the weekend and saw my old Guide leader there, It have been a long time since I saw her and she asked me what I have been up too and asked if OH was my husband.

I said no, we are not married but I had been married and divorced since I last saw her. So she proceeded to ask me if I had decided not to work at my marriage. To which I replied “Well as by the end he was boffing someone else, and got her up the duff I wasn't inclined to fight too hard" (I may have been drunk but I still couldn’t swear at my guide leader despite provocation)

Why would anyone think it is Ok to ask this? It is a very personal thing as to why a marriage fails and it was 3 years ago anyway, so more than a little too late and pointless! I am not going to leave my lovely OH and go back to the cheating scumbag just because a lady in blue suggested that I should have tried harder!

14 replies

Latest activity by Meltdown, 8 November, 2013 at 10:58
  • Holey
    Beginner July 2011
    Holey ·
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    Oh my god! Why would anyone say that to someone?! I admire your restraint to be honest

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  • sal.san
    Beginner December 2011
    sal.san ·
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    Love your response - can just picture her face.

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    Very rude. Hope she chokes on her woggle.

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  • Ali_G
    Beginner October 2012
    Ali_G ·
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    For someone who doesn't know the circumstances, it's very rude. People shouldn't assume all marriages can be "fixed".

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  • Hoddy
    Beginner July 2014
    Hoddy ·
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    How rude! I bet she feels silly now.

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  • lil_2014
    Beginner July 2014
    lil_2014 ·
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    It sounds like she didn't think was an offensive thing to ask? Maybe was meant as a (very poorly taste) joke which flopped?

    Or her convictions (religiously or from a different generation) made her think was a genuine question looking for a genuine asnwer.

    I know people a bit like that, she will say things and regret the next second because she doesn't realize they weren't appropriate until is too late. But is because she has other points of view (which can be very wrong in the 21st Century) and simply can't understand the things we put up with these days - divorce being one of them.

    I would hope she meant no harm!

    And your answer propably thaught her ther lesson to never ask it again to anyone else! Smiley smile

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  • H
    Beginner
    happy2marry ·
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    Not to defend the person, because she seems like an idiot, relationships can be an all-consuming experience to some leading them to believe that their experience is the norm for all. The amount of mates I've lost contact with after they entered a committed relationship is testament to that. Moreover, when I meet up with them they end up sounding like self absorbed wankers as they either talk about their relationship all nigh or condescend about mine.

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  • *MM3*
    Beginner June 2014
    *MM3* ·
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    Definitely not ok to ask this, bit rude and it's just none of her business.
    Agree with the others that she probably didn't think anything of it, but hopefully she won't be asking anyone again!

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  • *Teabag*
    Beginner June 2013
    *Teabag* ·
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    That is a really odd and rude thing to say - maybe she couldn't think of anything to say and then said the first random thing that came into her head. Either way, it's none of her business!

    You were very dignified with your response though so hopefully she was suitably embarrassed.

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  • Ohwhatatuesday
    Beginner May 2014
    Ohwhatatuesday ·
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    How rude!!! You were very restrained in my opinion!

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  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
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    Hmmm, I suspect she may be the kind of person who assumes that because your then-husband 'went elsewhere', that this was a sign you hadn't been working on your marriage.

    I would also have been blunt/sarcastic, but think the right approach would have been 'Sorry, but it's none of your business'.

    What if he'd have beaten you senseless or something?

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  • Flowmojo
    Beginner
    Flowmojo ·
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    tea. everywhere!

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    Actually just snorted.

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  • Meltdown
    Dedicated September 2021
    Meltdown ·
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    If she had asked what had gone wrong, i would hvae been quite open about it, I know that my only mistake was marrying a man-child who couldnt keep it zipped. It was the assuming that I hadn't fought for it the peed me off.

    However I can see the funny side of things, Her face was a picture! I dont think i could have shoked her more if i had sworn.

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