What do you think about this?death related, sens?

It's a shame, but it's not the end of the world, no?

Poor Mr H. Give him a big hug from me ?

Both have a cry, and a cuddle then see how you feel.?

Oh i will. i need to shake off numbness first, i can't seem to say anything (with my voice?) except don't worry about it. bless him.

Aww, that's sad. Give your OH a hug. I'm sure her voice will sound clearer in your head anyway that what it would have done on the answer phone ?

I dont know maybe you should both have a big cuddle and little cry if it helps.

On a similar note my mum still rings my sisters phone once a month and occassionaly puts money on her phone so she can listen to her answer machine message. ?

I know how you feel. My Mum died just over a year ago and her voice is still on the answering machine (my brother lives there now). He has turned it off but not deleted it. In some ways I want to hear her again - but feel too scared that it will upset me too much. I like knowing that I could still hear her though. (Tears in eyes)

Forgot to add the memories are in your heart and your head. x

Oh feck, now I am weeping. Emma and Lizzie, that is so lovely.

please do keep the message, you may want to hear it someday even if its too hard now.

I'm Ok I think, 4 years is long enough. he feels terrible but I've asked him not to worry. i could never work out how to transfer it to something permemant and he wasn't to know that.

I know *exactly* how you must feel..My gran died in November, and I still cant delete her from my MSN contact list..everytme I see her name, It really hurts, but I just cant delete it.

I keep saying to Hal I wish I had a video of her, as I am struggleing to remember the sound of her voice already..?

Hyacinth ?

I don't know what to say, really.

Oh Hyacinth, he must feel dreadful. How awful for you both. You are making me want to weep.

Memories of her will always be better than a tape. You will feel better tomorrow.

quote:Originally posted by Ethel
I know *exactly* how you must feel..My gran died in November, and I still cant delete her from my MSN contact list..everytme I see her name, It really hurts, but I just cant delete it.

I keep saying to Hal I wish I had a video of her, as I am struggleing to remember the sound of her voice already..?

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Its horrible isn't it? I had this god awful dream shortly after she died, that it was all a mistake and she was still alive, the dream was so incredibly vivid I kissed her cheek and could actually taste her skin. i was very shaken up afterwards then kept wishing I could have the dream again?

It does get better. they say it takes a full year to recover from the worst of the grief?

I can sympathise, I lost an old friend one year ago yesterday, kept e-mailing her for a while afterwards and called her mob to hear her vm. Also can't delete her from my mob/msn etc, found out a few days ago that texts planning our last meeting had gone from mob, was almost in tears, as they were positive messages

We took the tape out of the answer machine when my dad died and my mum still has it somewhere

i doubt we would be able to listen to it though as the tapes are probably obsolete now


this has brought a tear to my eye , hope your both feeling a little better today ?

Oh lovely, how horrid for you both ?

? for you both.

Oh Hyacinth. A massive ? for both of you.

Maybe 4 years on it's not such a bad thing but a not a decision you wanted to be taken out your hands like that. ?

Missed this last night. ? Poor Mr H must feel awful.

There's no right or worng time to 'let go' incidentally, and fwiw, I think we sometimes focus too much on letting go (e.g. I've no intention of letting go of my grief in relation to certain losses in my life actually.)

Still, spilled milk etc etc- there's no point in making yourself and Mr H feel awful about something that can't be retrieved (am assuming there's no techie miracle retrieval system?.....) Regardless, you'll always remember that message and what it meant to you, which would surely have been her intention. ?

? thinking of you x

? I'm so sorry ?

I hope you are feeling ok this morning?

Its not quite the same, but I unpacked some things the other day that were my mum's (she died 11 years ago now). One was a glass jug that I loved, and H knocked it off the draining board and it broke before we'd even used it. I didn't want him to feel bad about it (he felt awful), but I did need space to be upset about it. I think I explained it ok to him. I had the numbness you are describing as well. I felt a bit silly being upset over a jug, but sometimes these things come out of nowhere.

I just wanted to say thank you all for your lovely replies. You've made me feel much better.

I gave MrH and hug and a kiss and told him not to worry about it. Hes horrified, which he has no reason to be, but I would have felt the same if I'd done that so I sympathise with him.

Well its gone now, and I feel Ok about it. i can speak and everything ?

thank you also for sharing your experiences- Eirwan thats exactly how I felt, I didn't want to make him feel any worse but also wasn't sure I wanted to keep reassuring him it was OK.

I just wanted to add that even though it is nice to have something to listen to, you will always have your memories.
I haven't had the courage to watch my wedding dvd yet as it's the only thing I have of my mom where she is 'alive'. I will always have those memories though, as will you of your nan ???
I bet your H is devastated but it was a mistake, I don't suppose there is any way it was saved into the memory of the machine? I don't know how these things work.