Well here we go, the story of my most recent hospital stay . ..
As most of you know (from my repeated moaning) I had to have my surgery I had done in June, repeated, this was because my stoma (for those who don't know, the stoma is the piece of small bowel that has been brought out of my stomach- I wear a bag over this) had retracted completely. My surgeon wasn't very positive that it would work any better the second time, and was very negative about most things, including my desire to have a second child, but he agreed to have ago (not at getting me pregnant, he was still being negative about that part).
He said there was a chance he could do it keyhole, but it was unlikely (more positivity- not) I really hoped keyhole would be possible, as when I had the surgery in June, I ended up with a wound infection, which I was still having dressed every other day by District nurses, but it was finally a matter of weeks away from being fully healed.
So, I went into hospital on Friday, I was taken into the anesthetic room, I was excited as usual, I LOVE anesthetic! The anethetists were laughing with me, and thought I was a little unusual as I kept telling them how fab it was as I fell asleep!?
I woke up in recovery, I was in lots of pain, my pain relief was doubled and I fell asleep. ?
Once awake I was moved to the ward and happy to find it had been done keyhole- yippee! There was a new dressing on my old wound, but I figured they had just redressed it because the original dressing had been soiled during the surgery- how wrong I was!
Within minutes of being on the ward I persuaded a nurse to let me up to get changed and go for a wee (she wasn't happy but I am very stubborn) I knew straight away I had a urine infection, but was told it just felt like that because of the anesthetic- I knew from experience this wasn't the case.
The doctor came and informed the surgery went well and that they had found a hernia and had repaired it. There was also some other stuff found, but I didn't really understand what and they said they fixed it!
Anyway Friday night, I was confident I would be home early on Saturday, I ate a meal and was feeling good.
Saturday, I was up and dressed quite early, but was told I needed to eat lunch before I left, I mentioned I was still having discomfort when I did a wee and so I was told to do a sample. This I did.
I ate lunch and suddenly I was in the most awful pain. The Doctor was called and told me I had to stay in, I was fine with this, had I have been at home when I got the pain I would have taken myself straight to the hospital. I was a little bit scared about how bad the pain was.
I was told to stop eating and only have clear fluids
The pain continued as did nausea, Sunday I was very uncomfortable, still not allowed to eat. Still having trouble and discomfort weeing, so told to do a sample, they didn't know what had happened to the one I had already done.?
On Monday my stoma nurse came to see me, she started to help me change my bag and when I saw my new stoma, I broke down, it was seriously HUGE! even the nurse was shocked by the size of it, I knew that with it that big it would stop me from lifting and holding Ned close to me, and also stop me from being cuddled close by Mr MF. I was a sobbing wreck, because of this I was moved to a side room.
I continued being upset all day, I also kept worrying the surgeon would think me very ungrateful, I told the stoma nurse about my previous consultation and how negative my surgeon had been and that the reason I had agreed to have the bag done in the first place was so I could try for a second child. She told me she was going to talk to him on my behalf.
I was told to try a cup of tea, and I was allowed soup and ice-cream too, these caused lots of stomach pain.
(I also had my old wound dressing changed- the wound was looking a little unhealthier than it had before I had gone in, but I didn't worry too much)
On Tuesday morning, the doctors (not my consultant) came round, I was asked to do a urine sample as they had been waiting for one since Friday!- I did another and it came back with high amount of nitrate in and some blood- so a UTI was diagnosed. ☹️
The doctors told me to try and eat breakfast and if I experienced pain they would do an endoscopy later on that day. I ate and the pain was there. So told no more fluids or food until after the procedure.
A doctor came to resite my needle (not sure how to spell the correct words) I have very very bad veins- it had taken them 2 attempts to get the anesthetic into me because the original vein collapsed. This time it took her seven attempts! (Then when I got down to endoscopy they had to redo it?)
I was quite nervous of the endoscopy, I was also worried that the sedative the planned to give me would have no affect because of my tolerance to drugs.
I was taken down the suite and whilst waiting my surgeon came to see me, he told me that he heard how unhappy he was, and with that I burst into tears and told how upset he had made me, especially about my wish to have a baby and also how huge the stoma was and how I just wanted to be able to hold my son. He was very kind and he apologised and told me he was just trying to manage my expectations and he tells all his patients in similar situations to mine, about the risks of carrying a child, but he would support me in my decision, he also told me the new stoma would shrink a little, but it had to be done that way,
I felt better about most things, and was taken in ready for the fun to begin. They gave me a spray of local anesthetic. They then gave me the sedative and it had very little affect- I found it very uncomfortable, but it was quick and my surgeon didn't seem to mind the fact I had thrown up over myself and most people around me (all with the tubes and camera still down my throat)??
Whilst waiting to go back to the ward my blood pressure suddenly plummeted, I am use this happening but everyone around me had a panic
Eventually back on the ward, I was very emotional and my throat was so painful. I was allowed to eat but told it had to be low fat- it turned out to be very low fat as I couldn't eat because of my throat.
Wednesday, the doctors came and told me they had found I have a Hiatus Hernia (not sure how to spell it as haven't googled yet) and inflamed stomach and top of my small intestine, they had taken a biopsy as they thought there may be some bug causing this.
I was also told I may have a problem with my kidneys and gall bladder, I was told I needed an ultrasound and not to eat until I had it- no problem my throat was still agony- I was told I needed to be seen by ENT.
I had the scan and I assume all was ok as no one has told me it wasn't!
I then had my old wound dressing changed and it was awful- it was as bad as it had been back in July/ August, it was three times bigger than it has been and was a mess. I was devastated. The nurse sat with me whilst I cried, through my tears I told her, I didn't want to be well enough to run a marathon, I just want to be able to be a mum to Ned and be able to spend days together without nurses visiting and without me not being able to hold him- I looked up and the nurse was crying her eyes out, she was a mum herself and for some reason what I said really affected her.?
Wednesday evening, there was a mix up between me and Mr MF, as I thought he was bringing Ned in early so we could spend lots of time together, they arrived at 5.45, Ned has dinner at 6.30 so I knew we had little time together - I lost it with him He and my dad had made the decision the day before not to bring Ned in at all which really upset me and I was missing him so much. Plus my parents who were caring for Ned kept telling me how happy he was and how he didn't miss me at all- obviously I was pleased he was happy, but I was also feeling like everyone was better off without me and Ned didn't need me! After lots of sobbing (me) apologising (Mr MF) talk about our fears and feelings (both of us) we were ok and managed to get Ned some tea so he could eat it with me and not have to leave so early.
Thursday I was told to eat a meal and to go and see a consultant in ENT, also my pain nurse and stoma nurse were due to visit, I told the doctors after all of that I planned to go home- they said no, I said yes, I told them I had had enough I kept getting more and more ill and I was going insane (they also kept running out of oramorph so I was spending lots of time in pain whilst they tried to find more) They said, they would see how I was later, I told them they would see that I was leaving.?
They told me they wanted me to see the wound care nurse who was away till Monday, I said too bad, I had to go home (I had seen the wound again and it had increased in size, my upset had turned to anger)
I saw my pain nurse and she put me on some new medication, I changed my bag myself whilst my stoma nurse was there (a huge step as I hated looking at the stoma, but knew I had to be able to do it to go home)
I then saw the wound care nurse, she wasn't on holiday at all, and my pain nurse had told her I needed to see her. She had no idea what they had done to my wound but she packed it and dressed it and set up a care plan for the District nurses.
I went down to ENT and found out that during my operation and Endoscopy my throat had been damaged and was seriously ulcerated all down the right side?, I was told to use a mouth wash and spray and had to just wait for it to heal.
I went back to the ward, packed all my things, a lovely doctor came and said I could go home on the condition I would go straight back if any pains got too bad.
2 hours later Mr MF and Ned collected me, along with three huge carrier bags of drugs that I need to take, but who cares I was out!?
So that's that! I am still waiting for quite a few test results, I also have to rest, not lift too much and avoid stress.
So that is what I am doing, I am exhausted and have some new pain, plus the wound is very painful, but so happy to be home.
Now it is a waiting game to see if it has worked this time, how long the wound will take to heal, and what other things may need fixing and whether I can hold Ned close and ever have a second child.
I am so sorry this is so long, it is actually a heavily condensed version, with lots more things being done in between and other stresses and worries! There were also some huge family politics (between others, not me) going on, and I was expected to resolve them.
Thank you for anyone that managed to read this and thank you all of those who have sent me good wishes,
I spent most of my time in hospital on my own and it made a huge difference having Mrs Magic texting me and telling me people were thinking of me. Plus my texts off Princess Layabout, Pu$$y cat and the wonderful texts and pictures from Halo Honey with her gorgeous new arrival, really helped me stop feeling so alone.
Thank you all.
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