What have you learnt today?

I have learnt that I am a procrastinator, even when it's something nice(ish) that I have to do.

I have also learnt that I can search for friends on multi map.

That no matter how cute my dog is and no matter how much I think she really is part-human, she truly loves nothing more than to eat squirrel poop in the garden.

I have learnt that Hole likes to milk a joke.

I have also learnt that Stavs kebab van has garlic sauce.

sounds interesting - what happened - more tit jokes?

i have learnt:

healthy breakfasts make me smelly(ier)

i dont have time to get all my work finished

i shouldnt have booked a holiday

i should have sorted out holiday childcare a long time ago

(and that i cant spell!)

That tuna don't look like I thought they did ?

oh, and i learnt yesterday that eyes do not grow, thats why babies have big eyes. I am such a ficko.

No, not tit jokes today, though he was obviously the one who reminded me (as if I need reminding) that my arse is, in fact, enormous.

I slapped him because he keeps forgetting to do something and I wanted him to remember, so I slapped him while we were discussing it so that it would stick in his mind. Only gently, but it provoked quite a prolonged outburst ?

That one should never underestimate the kindness of internet weirdies.

My dog loves me more than I thought he did.

Leaning back is baaad m'kay. In fact, it is worse than sitting up or standing up.

That 2 wisdom teeth pushing through on the same side causes massive pain which extends to the tongue and tonsil and causes ulcers the size of Wales.

That I have a weakness for sausages and curly fries.

That my H can still make me smile even when it hurts to do so (sorry ?)

Today I have learned that my Landlord is even more of a cowboy than I thought! The shelf he recently put up in the kitchen fell down on top of me. It appears he put in 2 screws loosely even though it's clear that there should be 8 screws given the number of holes. I hate this flat!

That it costs a lot of money to treat my dog and my cat for fleas.

That there are a lot of calories in Waitrose readymade Lemon Pilau Rice (when you eat the whole pot).

That the mobile phone coverage in central Turkey is pants. Either that or my H doesn't WANT to text me.

I've learned that solicitors don't like it when you send back forms with mistakes on them (Dear Solicitor: the clue is in the word 'mistake'. We didn't mean to fill them out incorrectly. As we pay for your time, that would be a bit silly of us, wouldn't it?)

That I really do piss people off when all I'm trying to do is to make sure that everything is going to run smoothly? How come other people do this without causing people to think they don't trust them?

That I really am very lazy.

I have learnt that;

My next door neighbours are not very nice.

My next door neighbour the other side is. We blamed him for something the other side did. Oops.

Mr Chunk has the memory of a goldfish. I requested a Snickers bar and a bag of Buttons, but got a bar of Galaxy and peanut M&M's. He was literally 2 minutes in the shop, so it took him the time of getting out of the car, going into the shop and buying said chocolate to forget which ones I wanted - and I was on the phone to him at the time! Still, it's chocolate, and any chocolate will do when I'm PMT'd up to the eyeballs.

Mr Chunk is the reason that the washing basket doesn't ever go down, despite me doing tons and tons of washing this week. He must change 5 times a day.

I have learnt that things that seems awful as never quite as bad as you fear.

I learnt that there is more than one way to skin a rabbit (my boss wanted me to tell a team member to do something, but I managed to do it in such a way that it didn't feel like I was ordering her about).

I also learnt that curiosity doesn't necessarily kill the (green) cat - it can be put to excellent use!

That I have limits, and I'm about to reach them

Wine solves all ills

My laptop screen shakes

I've learnt that internet weirdy friends are better than real life ones.

I have learnt that I actually do have the ability to resist buying shoes. I tried ona bout 6 pairs in the River Island sale and bought none!

I have learnt that no matter how much energy I out in to improving my department the powers that be just aren't interested. They are very good at pretending to listen but then do what they want anyway. I have now had enough and will no longer be 'putting myself out there'. I'm a bit angry about this actually but am trying to forget about it.

I have learnt that my car is crap. Actually, I knew that anyway, so I haven't learnt that today.

Today i have learned that

Letting my children use the bed as a trampoline does actually buy me some time to get some much needed painting done even if it goes against what i would normally let them do.

That it is ok to get tired at 33 weeks pregnant - it doesnt mean i am getting old (ok maybe it does but i am choosing to ignore that fact today).

That the member's bar on South Africa Road is going to be replaced by a mobile bar.

I have learnt that someone is very confused

That stubbing your little toe really does hurt.

Oh and I think I am beginning to like Cricket.

That some skipper butterflies have shriveled genitals

I learnt the correct pronunciation of clostridium difficile. And that I really am quite lazy when my boss is not there. Also, that although I like to preach about my "open door policy" I am in fact irritated by the constant interruptions.

Oh, and that only 3% of fires in the UK happen at work, and £7 billion worth of damage is caused by fire each year.

Yes, I do have a boring job.

That stress and working a 12 hour day gives me a headache

vodka relaxes me

i need a break

That I organise too much in my social life and work on too tight a timescale, so that when work needs me I have to say "no", thus looking like an ar$e that always makes excuses.

6 weeks summer holidays is not long enough to do all the things I want to do

That there is a bloke at work that I really fancy....

That is going to be easier than expected to get a payrise this year

That when your power steering fails on your car, it is bloody expensive to get it fixed ?

Money/possessions/ belongings will never be more important than health

Re: EY's car...<sings the "I was right song"> ?

I learnt that our senior sound and transmission controller is a class A plonker.

Don't do it Wonks. I am a woman on the edge ??

<soothe>

(I was right though, wasn't I?)

More soothing, less "I was right" please ?

I f*cking HATE that car ?

That you should never borrow a muslin from zebra