What is going on?

So why did you get involved? I dont understand how I can be called rude yet the above comment isnt?

Wrong...

Shani - what was the point in posting you aren't interested then s@dding off?

You can question the rules but they are unlikely to change so its a case of deciding where is most suitable for particular conversations surely and if you decide on H knowing that its likey to be pulled (and we can all spot those threads from a mile by now) then you cant really complain.

So I'm wrong in reading CB and others say "well, i'll add you to the new one if you PM me"???

It was in the thread that was removed

Yes you are wrong; CB didnt create a group. Anyone can join, you dont have to be "lucky".

Trickers, No one called YOU rude.

Lauren, I am posting to say lay off Sherrie and Lynsey.

That is all

Well from the posts it said that the group was secret and can only be joined by invitation - so I guess anyone can't just join??!!

and my mistake in saying CB had created it - I didn't mean to offend you! All I wanted to say was another one had been created and i'm sure if you're fb friends with the right people, you'll get an invite..... is that better??!

No, it is the application of those rules that is forever changing.

Why are you being so huffy? All we've done is recreate a group that was deleted.

For goodness sake. That is the way FB does it, unless you want a completely public group than can be accessed by anyone on the world wide web.

Wasnt HG a secret group? Nobody seems to have a problem with that group.

I think you will find it is more the case of the group that we were all in HG was torn out from beneath our feet overnight with only a selct few transferred to a new group without an explanation!

A FB group was created this morning. It's name has nothing to do with Hitched, buut is open to any Hitched member. The group is secret so people can continue to post things to do with their wedding there without people from the 'real world' seeing.

No problem, no big deal...

Panic Over

Maybe because when I posted quite innocently that CB had created a new group, I was shot down with WRONG!

I didnt shout at you; I merely pointed out that you were wrong; i.e. informed incorrectly.

Oh hi shani back again? I thought you were more interested in your wedding AND that you were going? Oh but you've said that is all so I presume you're off again so won't reply

Oh hi shani back again? I thought you were more interested in your wedding AND that you were going? Oh but you've said that is all so I presume you're off again so won't reply

I told myself not to get involved in this but I would like to add my perspective.

It seems to me that there's two problems:

1 - things happening on the forum without any or sufficient explanation e.g. deleting of posts/threads.

2 - people making comments or putting forward opinions but then refusing to get involved in any further explanation / discussion

Like with anything in life, everyone is entitled to their view and to express it in as much or little detail as they wish however when you express yourself in a public forum you have to accept that other people will respond. You can't just walk into a room - mouth off and then back away from it. There's been too much of a 'this is what I think and that's all I'm going to say on the subject' feel about quite a lot of posts recently. This naturally frustrates the people with a different view because they want to discuss it - which is what I thought forums were for. Instead, it appears that those seeking debate, and even on occasion those simply seeking explanation of the situation we are currently in, are branded as trouble causers.

I really don't know how things have ended up like this. It's not a good situation and I really hope it changes.

If you want to be free to say your mind, accept that freedom must extend to others.

This is EXACTLY how I feel Viki but could never find the exact words.

Lauren - why do you feel the need to antagonise and stir??

This is probably the precise reason the fb group was removed - BITCHY comments like this!!!

All this FB business and other stuff that we daren't mention in case someone cries and the flaming torches and pitchforks get taken out of storage, has caused a HUGE rift in Hitched - why can't people just leave it and people alone??

Since when did you become their bodyguards.... you forgot to add or else!

Are you serious? I'm here happy to talk/ discuss. The antagonisers are the people that have a flounce and then can't talk about it they riun off. Like shani! It's exactly what bv said!

Everyone here is a valued member of Hitched, I am sure we would all agree. Everyone also has different personalities. Everyone also has a right to say how they feel.

If that means they come on (which many wont) say their piece so they feel their voice has been heard, feel better, express an opinion etc and then leave it at that because they are not interested in 'debate', being fired with thousands of the same questions or its just not 'them' to try and explain/justify their view point then that is their right and decision. It may be people's rights to question but it is not their right to try and force anwsers.

WSS with bells on!

It may be someone's 'right' to say their piece and leave it at that, and I believe I said that people were free to do so, but can you not see that taking that approach is what is in part responsible for the terrible atmosphere on here? Naturally it depends what someone has said, but the stronger the opinion expressed, the greater the likelihood that other people will react.

They may not be interested in debate but it's a natural consequence of posting on a forum.

I would like to think that no one has ever tried to 'force' an answer from someone else but that any questions pertain to achieving a better understanding of an opposing opinion.

I have stayed out of all this, partly becasue I have missed loads of it.

However, it seems to me, on Hitched and Facebook there are people who throw comments out about b1tchiness and cliques etc and then flounce off. In RL you cant just stomp up to someone mouth off and stomp off, with no back up or explanation. And to use not get into an arguement or debate as a reason is cobblers. If you are going to make a stroppy remark you should damn well back it up.

And talking about cliques and secrets group........I was a member of the original 'secret' facebook group and it dissappeared. So I had no warning, no one came forward to say anything about it, apart from the deleted post that I missed, so thank god for the so called 'clique' as no other hitcher bothered.

WTF?! I take my little boy to the doctors for his appointment & come back to find WW3 has broken out on here! For what it's worth, I can understand Sherrie & Lynsey feeling like they want to take a step back from the forum & FB group with all the scrapping going on at the moment. What I will say is that when I joined this forum last November it was a fun & friendly place where people planning a wedding could discuss ideas & the OM's were fab in offering advice. Yes, there is still a bit of that going on but the forum does seem to have lost it's way over recent weeks with a complete change of atmosphere on the forum. It is a real shame as it used to be lovely to pop online to discuss weddings with other brides (and grooms). Yes, alot of the old familiar faces still lurk & offer fab advice but what the hell happened to the friendly vibe this forum had? It's a real shame that it has come to this & I hope we can get back to the old friendly Hitched quickly as I need you guys to help me get through my last weeks of wedding planning!

That is fair enough but they (I think, not actually sure who deleted it) got involved and decided no one was going to be in the group by deleting it.

ETA - without warning and without telling us why. I actually thought I had been excluded from it this morning when I couldn't find it. Some Hr's were then invited to a new group, but then had their invite revoked.

It would be very interesting to know who actually deleted it.

As I understand it, only group admins can. There weren't too many of those!

I think there were three?