What si the best way to word... if any!!

I over estimated on all of those amounts just trying to see where the budget will be spent really - if you have a budget of £6000 I'm sure its easily done to invite 43 people and have a lovely day with eveyone you want there.

Have I missed out something?

Hope you get it sorted.

So even with bits shaved off here and there you could still come in under £6000? Do you think you've got yourself into a panic about how much its costing you?

Also i dont think you should feel as if you're expected to do anything at YOUR wedding. its about you and H2B getting married, like teehee said. If cutting your cousins from the guest list makes it easier then i dont think you should feel guilty about it. Ive said it twice now, just offer to see them after the wedding! AND SENDING CAKE IS STILL ACCEPTABLE!

I think we paid too much for the photographer as that’s come in at £1000 but the pics are copyright free and he does a video too.

I think it is the cost that’s panicked me.. Could buy a new car for to total budget...

We all want to have as nice a day as possible for the money I guess its just realising that you have to pic and choose whats more important.

I might suggest to my sister about getting a dress that she's more likely to wear again and perhaps her maybe paying for her shoes and a bit towars the dress.

She's been BM before for her friend but said she wanted a new dress (was originally going to get her to wear that one).

Hiya Karen, wow, what a massive thread! Appologies if I'm repeating something that's already been said, but I haven't read through all of it!

I know what it's like to be on a tight buget, My H2B and I are limited to £5000 - we're going to get married at my local parish church then on to a village hall for the reception. We're going to have the latest available wedding slot (about 4pm), that way everyone will have already had lunch so we only have to feed them once.

For the food we're going to have a hog roast. It's £5 a head for the chef and pig, and we're going to get the mums to sort out salads/veg alternatives/accompaniments buffet, so really shouldn't be that much, then they can have wedding cake (made by brother-in-law-to-be) for pudding ? There are some hog roast people that go all out and provide a full 3 course sit-down meal, but even these don't cost what you're paying per head. And a lot of these are companies that travel nationwide. Also, hog roasts are very good for catering for large numbers of guests.

The thing that's really breaking my heart is the transport - I would love a horse drawn carriage but as most of the quotes I've got are for £700 - £1000 I just can't justify it ☹️

Hope that helps anyway, good luck with the planning

Alex ❤️

x x x

I agree we all do want to have as nice a day as possible for the money.

I think you're being very sensible talking to your sister about her dress. Explain to her that money is tighter than you thought and you would really appreciate if she could help towards her outfit.

Hope you're ok and you don't think we were too harsh on you karen

We're having a hog roast too - with salads and ciabattas it's coming in at £6.00 a head. They've also offered to do sausages for the children which I thought was nice!

We're having our reception at a rugby club, the hire of the actual place is £150 and then it's the catering etc on top so you can pay as little or as much as you want really.

Try not to worry too much, what we're actually having, is very different to what we originally started off with!!

Ah I should add that the pruice included all drinks for the table etc..

A hog roast is a lovely idea but I couldn’t bring my self to sacrafice a pig.

Im veggie see and probably plannignto have a lot of veggie food there as I don’t want our celebration causing deaths to animals.

Yep I know they'd be eaten anyway but as im paying I don’t want to be responsible if that makes sense?

Seven hundred bucks for a church??????????????????

WTF is that for?????? Gold plated hymn sheets and a 30 piece gospel choir??????

Insert the holy name in blasphemus form here because a church, a building of the community, a building of charity should not, noooo wayyyyyyyyy charge that much feckin money and if thats to pay anyone then i'm giving up my teaching job and becoming a feckin bell ringer or organist. Sh!t of the Holy kind, man. What happened to donations??????!!!

I'm paying about 200 hundred bucks and that should cover a wage or two and the leccy bill for a month.

I would say have the church you want - and then hire a village hall or something and put on a big veggie buffet. you could even ask guests to bring a dish - far more acceptable than asking them to pay!

If I had a very limited wedding budget I know exactly what I would do!

Ceremony in reg office (or church if that is your preference)

Then invite ALL my friends and family to a great big outdoors picnic in a park (or ask a friend/rellie with a big garden if you could use that) - bring their own picnics and drinks if budget does not stretch to a buffet. Stick up a few gazebos incase it rains (you could ask people to lend these). Maybe blow a good bit of the budget on a life band to come and play for a few hours and get everyone dancing.

I think that would be lovely!

For a £5k budget, I would get married abroad (just OH and I) and spend most of the budget on that, and then just reserve a little bit to organise the mass picnic afterwards without the reg office/church bit.

I think the price for the church is way too much. Our church fees came in at just under £500 in total, which included £133 for the Archbishop's License (we didn't live in the parish, I lived in London at the time and church was 2 hours away in home town so we needed one of these to be married there). It also included the use of the orders of service and hymn books, having the vicar there, the organist and the man who did the microphones and things (I'm not sure what his title was). What are you getting for that?

I understand your point about being veggie and not wanting a hog roast because of that, fair enough. How about a BBQ with lots of veggie options and salads? (Plus if you can, a few real meat options - I know several people who wouldn't see all veggie as a "proper" meal - all boys, funnily enough!)

So, Fees are set by the local diocese and the induvidual church has no control over them what so ever. These are around £250. Publication of banns of marriage are £22. The certificate of the publishing of the banns of marriage is £5. None of these fees go directly to the church or the vicar- they go to the church of England as an organisation to pay for its general running...

Extras such as choirs, organists etc vary wildly, but do generally reflect the quality of the person who is involved.

However, I think if you want a wedding with no bells, no organs etc you can ask for this and just pay the bear minimum.

Also bear in mind the Vicar who's stipend is les than that of a first year teacher and who gets no extra cash from your nuptuals and shout him a bottle of wine to say thanks!!!!?

Another idea of how to invite people to be part of your day...

We are hiring the school hall next to the church and inviting everyone there for bubbly and cake immediatly after the service. Later that day we are having a more select sit down meal at a different venue. This way everyone is included but in an inexpensive and informal way where they can come to the service and a bit of a do!

My friend did this last year and it worked really well x

Having read most of the replies, I would suggest the following (and would think it would be a really lovely day too!):

- Keep the church wedding

-Hire Village Hall next to church

- Decorate yourself (well, get family to help)

- Ask ALL guests to bring a dish for a buffet. (You could even send out a list of things so that no one duplicates)

-Provide sparkling wine instead of champers for toasts

I really think this would make for a great day, it would most probably be different to any other wedding your guests had gone to, and I think it could have a real Country-chic feel to it

I know what it is like when you have a picture in your head of your perfect wedding, but unfort you *are* going to have to make some changes as you already know, whether it be the 'theme' of the day, or the number of guests, or venue, etc.

x

700 was including the organist and choir and bells - basically it all. It was one of the cheaper churches in the area. One we looked at was 850! and that was the 2009 price!! Its so shocking!

We can have 450 for the basic package which im seriously considering even the church hall next to the church is £15 an HOUR.

The local hall near me wanted 350 quid and you had to be our and tidied by 11!!

Im trying to persuade the OH to have it in our garden - its not a huge one but at least it wouldnt be empty!!

Either that or as suggested re-evaulate the list and ask myself I i really want these exxtra people here?

Definitely re-evaluate the list. Be brutal - class people as those you would not get married without (ie for us it would have included parents, siblings), those you would really, really want there and those who you wouldn't really miss.

An example from ours, not quite the same but ... we wanted to be child free, mainly because the only 2 couples on the list with children (at the time of deciding) were not close friends. One of these couples pulled out because they couldn't bring their children. Said couple were the daughter and SIL of H's parents' best friends. H hadn't seen the couple in over 8 years, so a few toys were thrown out of the pram, we didn't cave because although it would have been nice of them to attend for H's sake, we weren't that bothered and it didn't ruin our day.

If it is really important to you to get married in church rather than a registry office, can you talk to the vicar about the high fees?

£15/hour for the hall sounds like a really good deal!