What Tricks Do You Use To get Kiddies To Eat Food?

I think it's the luck of the draw tbh. One of my sisters had two horrendously fussy eaters adn she's a great cook, no food issues herself - her daughters basically lived on fruit for years. They're both totally fine now (in their early 20s) - eat most stuff, healthy as anything.

MrH's brother went through a phase in his teens of only eating bread, peanuts and Ribena. Their mum tried all tactics but in the end decide that he was healthy and growing and that just leaving him to it was the best option. Now he eats most things.

I eat most things myself and am stumped as to why my 17month old is so fussy. I breast fed her for 10 months and started weaning her from about 5 months with pureed fruit and veg. She's never taken to jars and it's always been home cooked food that she's eaten with the exception of Ella's kitchen purees.

Until recently, perhaps the last few months she hasn't really 'got' food. It's always been a chore for her, not something that she's ever enjoyed. Even now she won't eat things that most babies love, she has never taken to banana, hates beans, potatoes and cheese, she won't touch any fresh fruit or salad veg. There are a few things that she will eat, but she's so distrustful of food I literally have to force the first spoonful in so that she can taste it, then she'll eat the rest of it.

The only thing she will eat without fail is breakfast and the very greasy parathas (buttery flaky chappatti) that her gran makes for her.

It's been a real battle trying to feed her and I think her 'fussiness' started right at the beginning with breast milk. I used to fight to get her to feed, I could easily not feed her all day and she still wouldn't be bothered. Thankfully when I switched over to cows milk she took to it eventually and now loves it.

I really don't know what caused her fussiness, but I don't believe it's been caused by my pandering to her.

Thanks for the reassurance all. The 'sensible' side of me knows he will eat at some point, I'm just getting impatient! He is actually thriving, way above average for weight and height and I am sure he won't just be eating toast and fruit by the time he goes to school.

DaisyDaisy - "make sure they try everything" - I can't physically force-feed him, and sadly at 14 months, he is not yet old enough for bribery ?

For those who are struggling, I've heard very good things of "My Child Won't Eat" by Carlos Gonzalez

This is a really interesting thread.

Both of the girls were weaned exactly the same, yet my eldest still has trouble with food. I have come to the conclusion that she just doesnt like it. We dont have any trouble getting her to eat healthily when she will eat, as she survives on fruit/veg with the occasional sandwich thrown in for good measure! We have been to hell and back with her, and tbh have got nowhere. We have tried everything i can think of, and various medical professionals have too, but to no avail. Everybody we have seen has said we have the "right approach" to food, ie making it fun, no forcing to eat etc. The funny thing is she loves cooking/preparing food but just not the eating part.

Tomorrow she will probably have an apple for breakfast, half a sandwich for lunch and perhaps 2 tablespoons of stir fry (thats what we are having). She will be 6 next month.

As i said above, her sister who was weaned exactly the same, with the same food etc is fab with food.

Sorry ive derailed the thread a bit, Hazel im going to look at the book you suggested, ive tried loads but maybe this one might be better!

My lot have gone through phases. My 9 year old now eats most things which is great, 6 year old is a complete nightmare and his favourite food is pasta with either pesto or just cheese, then the 20 month old has gone from eating loads to hardly anything in a couple of months!

I'm trying to relax but it is hard. I suppose it's not too bad as they all enjoy their fruit ?

My mum was the stay at the table till you finish type. She never forced us to eat stuff we didn't like, but we never had a choice for dinner. I posted this on an earlier post:

Yes, sorry absolutely. Like I say, all very well from my lofty position of mother of vegetable eater. I do appreciate the absolute anguish children not eating can cause. Sorry if I seemed flippant. Also, mine is 4 and so can be reasoned with to try things, so yes - feel free to ignore my well intentioned 'advice'.

To add to the points about choice:

For the last six months, I've been making my niece's school lunch with things she has told me she likes, but invariably it has come back uneaten, even if she's happily eaten the same thing on another day. This week we're trying out her making her own lunches, and she's gone off to school with a huuuge lunch of all the things I'd have normally given her anyway. She chose and packed it all herself. She's 13 and an immensely fussy eater - but I don't think she was ever given the chance to be anything otherwise, as she had been fed such a small range of foods. Her parents do not regard her as fussy, which goes to show...

Thanks for the book recommendation Hazel.

This thread has been of reassurance- for me to know that other people are struggling makes me feel less guilty. I constantly worry if I've done something wrong with his weaning, and I regret not having tried baby-led weaning as BLW children in my experience are far more open to different tastes and textures.

Doughnut I assure you it IS hard work ? but so, so worth it. I live in hope that one day I will have a strapping teenager who will eat me out of house and home.

I've been reading this thread with interest. A isn't a fussy eater (for which I'm eternally grateful) and will eat nearly everything - we just have to ensure that food isn't too hot as then we quite often have an issue with the whole meal (it will still be "hot"ten minutes later!).

I'm the fussy eater in our house and I HATE it. I was one whose parents forced her to sit at the table until it had all gone - suffice to say I won't eat some of those foods now. Other foods we were never given to try and so when I've tried them now I just don't seem to like them. I appreciate that I probably have to persevere but sometimes just think what's the point? Other foods, well now that I can cook them properly I enjoy them. Like someone else I'm a bit of a glutton believing that I have to clear my plate but I've just started Paul McKenna's think thin book and even if I gain nothing else from it - that would be really helpful!

I would love to be able to go out anywhere and know that there will be lots of choices on the menu for me but sadly that's not the case. If anyone has any tips on how I can change my dislikes I would love to know!

Right back to work for now but will be back to this later!

I have read this thread with interest too. My parents decided they weren't going to have fussy children. If we didn't finish our main course, we were threatened with having it cold for breakfast - we both did. Once. Straight out of the fridge. Mum has said recently that she's not sure that she would do that now (and I don't have children so have no idea what my approach would be). However, it did teach me to eat what was given to me, so if I am in 'polite company' I will eat what is given to me, even if I don't like it. I'm not a fussy eater though (in my opinion anyway!). It wasn't until I was in my mid twenties that they decided that it wasn't a phase I was going through and that I really don't like carrots!

I've been gradually educating my H - he is one of those people who will say they don't like something when actually he hasn't tried it before. His parents have a very limited diet - although they say they aren't fussy and will eat anything. Actually they don't, and I/we find it quite difficult to cater for them when they come to visit.

This has been a really interesting read.

As the mother of a 22 month old I'd say that fussiness is definitely a development phase but some children seem to get it worse than others. My daughter is, at the moment, happy to try new things and is open to having various foods on her plate. This may not continue! She did happily eat bananas for months then refused point blank to eat them again then suddenly decided a few weeks ago that she would. I have friends whose children won't eat any kind of vegetable or have a very limited diet of what they will eat.

Food is the only area of life that a small child has any kind of control. So they start to use this. At the same time many parents feel anxious that their child needs to get a varied balanced diet so if you have a child that won't eat meat or vegetables it can get quite stressful.

I did read in Tanya Byron's book about toddler development that its also about our perceptions as adults of what our children are doing that can sometimes be different from the reality. So we think that as they haven't tried something they don't like it. Or they put it in their mouth and spit it out again, then they don't like it. She would say that actually that child might like it next time as they were willing to try it, or even feel it, they just have to be encouraged to eat it.

Other things that seem to help with food and getting small children to eat is peer example - my daughter eats all kinds of things at nursery that she won't necessarily eat at home. And getting them to help to buy and prepare food - so they become more familiar with different tastes and textures. I don't offer more than one meal, if she doesn't eat it then too bad, but I will start offering a choice of different meals that I can cook. That will just give her a bit of choice as she gets older.

Its hard with toddlers anyway because their food consumption seems to be up and down a lot. I think sometimes that our perception of how much she should eat is greater than the amount she will eat. Because some days she eats like a horse and others she hardly eats a thing. Yesterday she didn't eat her breakfast but she ran around all morning until lunch time without being especially hungry in between. So add that difficulty in perception and that makes difficult too.

I think its harder as children get older. I know there are things I wouldn't even try when I was about 9 or so. Like kidney beans because I thought they were hot (in spite of my mum trying to explain that it wasn't the beans that were hot it was the chili sauce!).

When people say that others have a limited diet, it makes me wonder - I mean, humans were originally hunter/gatherers and then farmers and neither form of living lends itself to an enormeous range of foodstuffs in reality.

Most primitive cultures have pretty limited foods - for example, much of Africa seem to survive on maize porridge three times a day supplemented with meat and veg when available.

I'd love to know what the relationship between wider introduction of foods to our diets, "fussiness" and intestinal disorders is?

To those mothers who have fussy children: please try not to let it worry you. I know that sounds flippant but it's genuinely meant. I have 4 yr old who used to be amazingly fussy and now isn't (apart from a gluten intolerance which is a bit different). I also have a 22 month old who is really really fussy - he eats rice krispies, Readybrek, scrambled egg, toast, ham sandwiches, sausages, grapes and strawberries. And that is it.

He didn't used to be like it, but when it started I used to get upset and stressed about it but he seemed to pick up on my anxiety. So I decided that I was going to chill out about it, and relax. We eat as many meals as we possibly can together (my H changed his working hours to 8-4 so we were lucky to be able to do that), we eat homecooked meals, which are put in front of our youngest. If he touches the food, plays with the food then at least he's getting accustomed to the food in part, and getting used to the social apsects of meal times, whilst witnessing his other fmaily members tucking in.

Once we've finished our meal I will give him a bowl of fruit puree and ready brek. Some may disagree with that, but they're not the ones who'd be up all night with a hungry child ?

I just repeat the JK-mantra-of-sense "this too shall pass, this too shall pass" ad finitum.

I think my parents thought I was fussy when I was a child. However, there are just certain vegetables I just don't like - courgettes, celery, aubergine and runner beans.

My Mum used to serve up the vegetables in serving bowls, and tell me to just take what I wanted - so, of course, if there was a vegetable I knew I didn't like I didn't take any. My mum would then say "Just try a bit - you might like it this time. You don't have to finish it if you don't want to". Fair enough - so I'd take maybe one slice of courgette or three slices of runner bean - just the bear minimum to show willing. Mum would counter with "Oh, come on - you can take more than that" and dump a couple more spoonfuls of the hated vegetable on my plate, saying again "Now you don't have to finish it if you don't like it". When I choked down the size of the portion I'd originally taken and announced that no, I still didn't like it and pushed the remainder to the side of my plate, my Mum would insist I finish it, saying "If you weren't going to eat it you shouldn't have taken it!" ?

My Mum is a good cook, but she gets emotionally invested in what she's cooked. Someone refusing to eat what she's cooked is therefore a terrible blow to her self-esteem, and she really takes it personally.

I can remember her wailing in the kitchen because I'd just spat out the mouthful of courgette she'd forced me eat, after I'd been chewing it for several minutes, unable to swallow it because I kept gagging. ?

I don't know how to get kids to eat vegetables if they don't like them. I am, however, certain that I'm not going to handle it in the way my Mum did. I still don't eat runner beans, although courgette and aubergine are eaten under protest. Celery is only eaten if it's chopped finely and cooked to within an inch of it's life as part of a casserole - i.e. it doesn't taste like celery anymore.

H actually was tied to a chair... oh yes..and his dad didn't like children getting messy when they ate...