What would you do?

It is a bit difficult, but personally I would say he can't come to the day time as it is limited numbers and they have already been accounted for, but he can come along to the evening, am sure he is big enough and old enough to be able to find something to do for the day time? x

How about he can go to the ceremony if he wants, but unfortunately not to the wedding breakfast as you've not got the headcount spare, but you might have to compromise and let him go to the evening thing??

Oh dear, what a dilemma.

I don't think its so unusual for people to go to the ceremony and then just the evening thing - I know that was the deal with me at a wedding once and we just went and occupied ourselve for the afternoon.... he may well just go off and please himself for the duration anyhow if he's not invited to the wedding brekkie....

Be strong!

Problem is, its in Sydney, & there isnt a seperate breakfast thing then an evening part. You have the ceremony, then straight after go to the venue. Canapes etc then sit down meal then dancing. So everyone at the ceremony, will be at the reception for the entire venue part into the night. SO, he either comes to the whole thing or possibly all 3 wont come at all. Just not sure what to say? ?

For me it would depend on how much I wanted the older couple there.

If I really wanted them there, enough to put up with their son being there, then I'd say he could come.

If I was only so-so about them coming, and invited them thinking they wouldn't come anyway, and would definitely notice their son being there, then I'd tell them sorry but numbers have already been accounted for and there is no extra room.

Why do people feel it's perfectly acceptable to invite other people to join them, when the bride and groom didn't invite them?

Hmmm tough one. I guess it would depend how badly you want the couple to be there really - if their son's presence is going to cause you stress, expense and annoyance on the day then perhaps you should politely use the numbers accounted for line (which in my opinion is fair enough, it is your wedding and I think it is rude for guests to try and invite other people really). However if it isn't going to cause too much inconvenience and you would really like the couple there then perhaps you should OK the invite.

Although one cannot but think a 40 year old man could find some way to entertain himself in Sydney while his parents attend your wedding. I mean he agreed to drive them there BEFORE they even asked if he could attend so possibly he would still drive them even if he couldn't attend iykwim?

MUm has just taken a call to say the son will still drive them, but wont come to the wedding! Should we still invite him as he is driving them 8hrs, or just leave it at that?

How awkward.

Its difficult one, I guess I have all this to come, they may refuse your invite if you say no to the son, its difficult ;( xxx

I'd just leave it at that. Probably/possibly he has said to his mum that he didn't want to attend anyway, prompting the second phone call to your Mum. To call back again and invite him would just cause more awkwardness as he'll then have to accept grudgingly (if I'm right and he doesn't want to come) or refuse!

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.